I recently discovered that my husband cheated on me. I believe it when people say its the most heart wrenching thing imaginable.
I have to admit I was quite blind-sighted by it. I never EVER thought he'd do that since he himself had been the victim of an unfaithful person as well. I still at times have a hard time believing that this actually happened to me.
I have a hard time trusting people in general. But he was the one person I was completely honested and opened up to. I lost my virginity to him. I feel like I gave him everything I had yet... wasn't good enough?
I can't help but feel that way.
I always said I'd never stick around with a cheater. But I love him so much, I find myself still trying to be with him. Its like I'm just sitting there with my hand on the door knob thinking, "Oh please! Just give me any reason to let you back in."
But the memories of him and her and his uncommited and uncaring attitude to even reconcile for it... It hurts. It aches. My heart feels ripped to shreds. First I thought wow... I feel like writing one of the those emo songs. Haha. =(
Hurts when someone cheats... and especially when they themselves, are so low in self-esteem that they dont care anymore about anything really. He doesn't even care enough to try to save us. And he won't go to counseling anymore.
How to stop the irritating ping of hurt on the heart...?
That's the real question. Or how can I forget?