High-q Problems Are Relative

So, your smart as hell and people seem to be open books of despair and futility that are never read... you are alienated and alone and the reality you can see won't shut up about your and everything's death and the empty, dark miserable experience of existence seems a cold joke... boy, you're fu*ked. 
On the other hand, you have the ability to make changes, if nothing else than with ideas planted in the fertile soil of human interaction, filled with fertilizer as it is. 
Given the choice of being a dumbsh*t who literally can't see these things and knowing but being miserable, I'll take the misery anytime.  Without curiousity and a brain to have it, I would rather dissolve into the ground now, assuming I'd know the difference.
Sure, the sports bars of humanity are filled with beings I have a rough time calling "human" and sure, our time is way too brief, and ok, finding other smartas*es is tough, and all right, the brutish horror of nature scares me if there is a god, but the thing is we CAN do something about it, however futile in the long run.
Besides, some theater, a pretty person who knows their way around a body and a decent meal can take one's mind off it ... for awhile.
Badogma Badogma
41-45, M
3 Responses Feb 19, 2011

Yikes, we never really know what prompts the reaching-out that someone puts into the world, do we? I'm so sorry for all your losses. I'm glad you can express some of the grieving process by writing. Any (legal and moral) way to address the grief is a good thing. I hope it's of some vague comfort to know that you are being heard.

I know perception changes your personal reality and this was written a few months ago when almost everyone I knew (and even my dog-16 people) had died over a year period and my sig-other of 18 years couldn't take my emotional flat-line, etc. and left... and I was most definitely in a depressed, nihilistic mindset...<br />
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I've gotten better. A little. Sardonically amused pretty much sums it up, being supplanted by the sheer weirdness of it all. So, back to "normal." Thanks for the thought. Thinking happy thoughts is never niave in the larger sense...unless being a complete twit, that is.

I like your lively writing style and dry humor. Apparently finding other smartas*ses isn't as hard as it seems.<br />
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"Given the choice of being a dumbsh*t who literally can't see these things and knowing but being miserable, I'll take the misery anytime."<br />
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To be serious for a moment, I think you've narrowed your choices unnecessarily. You're right, we always have a choice. How about choosing, "knowing and being happy anyway"? Or if that's too Pollyannaish, perhaps "knowing and being sardonically amused"? Just a thought . . . :)