The Mind Is Its Own Worst EnemyI saw this group on a friend's list and realised that I do believe this. She is a genuine person and so I trust this forum.
Saying that intelligence causes isolation seems somehow self-indulgent or arrogant but how true that is. To be alone in the way I think about things, to feel as if I experience the world differently - oh, so lonely. I suppose we all have that inner mind where we believe that we are alone in our thoughts and our mental gyroscopics. I see the logic in so many things, I see flaws in people's arguments, I see unfairness, I see untruths, I see, I see I see.
But the isolation I have lived with for a long time - I have learnt that our mind's ability to process is a gift and once we understand that it seems that the joys of seeing the world with this mind do genuinely outweigh the isolation. I would not part with my mind, with its intelligence and all it brings. Not for anything.
So - to the depression.
I have been in therapy for nine months now. I went because my world has fallen apart. In that time, I have learnt that I have had so many losses in my life and that I have not really recognized them for what they are. My life is a journey of running, of avoiding and now I find myself stopped. Unable to move forward and looking around, I see that I have forgotten to do the things I should have. I live in a world apart from my own - I live on the edge of everyone's life. A stranger in the very worlds that I crave for. I cry from a place that I did not even know was in me - and tears that don't stop - and pain that never dulls.
I now know what it feels like to cry inside - I thought that was only an ex
And what has this to do with intelligence?
Well, I don't believe that my intelligence caused my depression but I do believe that it can hamper my recovery. My mind is so fast, so analytical - I race through self-diagnoses; I follow thoughts like thunderbolts. Sometimes, I can't just FEEL the emotion, I have to justify it, understand it, label it, file it.......anything but let it be what it is and deal with it.
Well that is my story. I am not sure if it makes any sense or is even what this forum is about. Whatever it is, it is me.
Tread softly, for you tread on my dreams.