So then what in the hell is wrong with me? I guess I'm the "lucky" ones who have crushing depression and isolation yet don't have an dazzling IQ. At least if I did it would make up for it a little, but I don't. A mediocre mind who you would think would be living in a state of ignorant bliss, but no. A mediocre mind who knows he is mediocre and will always be. Not smart enough to do anything about it, but just smart enough to know that he CAN'T do anything about it.

EnigmaVest EnigmaVest
22-25, M
8 Responses Dec 8, 2009

Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. Others are right, depression distorts your self-image.I feel inadequate most of the time, and it has very little to do with ob<x>jective circumstances.

Unfortunately, I HAVE no friends to help me along and I always thought that having a high EQ was a sign of heightened control over ones emotions and ability to manage yourself mentally. If that's the case, then two strikes against me: neither a high IQ or EQ.

Hello EV, I just wanted to say that life is not so bad with someone to help you along. Perhaps you might reach out to me? :) My EQ is much higher than my IQ and THAT's the problem I face.

On the contrary, I am the ONLY one qualified to judge what's going on in my head, regardless of my depression. It's my head. And what's going on is not good. I KNOW I'm not smart, and that ****** me off even more because now I am denied even a life of ignorant, happy bliss.

Well, intelligence is linked to depression iirc. But dude, don't be so damn hard on yourself. You seem like you really put some thought into this. Did you stop to think that a depressed person probably isn't the guy to accurately gauge their own abilities? Just take it easy and keep talking.

I think you are selling yourself short. You write well and have some self-awareness. It's pretty hard to see your own worth when you feel really depressed. I hope you can take in what people are saying here.

If you are self aware as you seem to be you are definitely not stupid and not mediocre. Depression makes me feel freaking stupid rather frequently. It skews your self image. I don't have a dazzling IQ, I'm above average and below brilliant. I hope things get better for you. The small things always help me.

Dude.<br />
<br />
Take a few steps back and breathe. You're not alone within the confines of depression and isolation, but it is your surroundings that make you who you are, and that is what you need to change.