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Internet Dating, the Answer to the Lonely Heart...or Maybe Not
Mar 5th, 2009
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I
have been single for almost 5 years and I am reaching the point where I think I shall never meet the right man to share my life with. My divorce from a long loveless marriage was inevitable and difficult, but I also had a glimmer of excitement that finally I would be free to meet and date other people and somewhere in that process I was bound to meet someone perfect for me.
I was cautious and shy to begin with. Post divorce, I was void of a social life. Clubs and pubs reserved exclusively for the under 30's denied me the chance to get out and meet people of my peer group. The church offered up single men, still living with their mothers who never even dated, let alone be pushing for a relationship. I spoke to my other single friends...
'The internet' they said and more precisely internet dating. Out there and at your fingertips a whole myriad of super sassy sites with easy access. Fill in a profile, add a few reasonable pictures and list exactly what you are looking for. Not only would the dear internet pick out suitable men, it would screen them for all your preferences. Non smoker, tall, solvent, hard working, reasonably fit and active...No way were you ever going to have to suffer some boring chain smoking lay about...he wouldn't make it through the strict criteria...so...
You punch it all in, jazz it up with a few lines about yourself. I am happy (but not really) carefree (but not always) out going (except when I realise how lonely I am) take great care of myself (except for on another Saturday night when I have been stuffing the Haagen Das and glugging the chardonnay out of sheer and utter mind crushing boredom) I am fun ( except when I just want to bury myself under the duvet in sheer frustration)...you create a persona so attractive that even passing comets veer off course and steer their way to you.
But should you tell the truth??
'I am an insecure, lonely, over anxious hermit, who desperately wants to be loved. I do have a big heart (and this is true) but I am shy to meet people. I have a pretty nice exterior but want to avoid being humped and dumped!!!'
Put this in your profile and you'd be lucky to attract shrek!!...so you go with the flowery, sunshiney, sugar coated option in the hope that someone will notice!!!...you hit the button and wait for the e-mail to start rolling in...
And this is what I did... (to be continued)
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  | Posted Mar 5th, 2009 at 7:01AM, last updated Mar 5th, 2009 at 7:03AM Great post. I don't know if the Internet killed love...or merely revealed to us that its been dead for quite some time. I'm sure in the 1800's people felt exactly the same way! Wasn't Emily Dickens constantly depressed that she never had any great loves? At first blush it SEEMS that finding someone that your attracted to and compatible with would be easy using the raw processing power of the Internet...but the sad truth is that all it does is prove that there really isn't anyone out there for us at all! Maybe the Internet has killed love in the sense that it has taken away our illusions about who is really out there and available to choose from? In 1800 you could blissfully go through your life truly believing that your special someone was "out there" and you could meet them at any moment. Thanks to eHarmony and Match.com we no longer have that blissful ignorance. We now know EXACTLY who is waiting for us "out there" and our selection consists almost entirely of broke nutters with faces only a Mother could love. I think I was happier not knowing! +5 nods   |
 | Posted Mar 5th, 2009 at 5:53PM brilliant post. My heart goes out to you. +3 nods |
 | Posted Mar 5th, 2009 at 7:12PM Maybe you can just focus on making friends rather than love for the moment.Sometimes when you least expect it love finds you and you may find that when you least expect it.Im 51 going through a divorce and sure I get lonely to cause there are really no places here to go.Im happy for the most part maybe im finding out who I am.Thats a nice post by the way looks like youve already made some new friends.Take care and hang in there. +6 nods |
 Feeling excited | Posted Mar 6th, 2009 at 3:52PM Brilliant and hilarious post. I feel your pain as this will be myself soon. I hope you follow up with more on the outcome. +2 nods |
 | Posted Mar 6th, 2009 at 4:33PM I came to EP a broken mess. I proceeded in the next few months to put my self out there 100%. Totally honest and upfront, all my insecurities and flaws right there in print for anyone to read alongside whatever I felt were my good points. No games, no deceptions no matter how slight, just honesty. Lo and behold I found much to my delight that people were not put off by my bad points at all. I have made some wonderful life long friends here some of whom I've met already and have more plans to get together with. I also met the love of my life here. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I believe that meeting on line has the potential to be far better than traditional methods but only if there is total honesty. Jazzing up an online profile is misleading and is bound to disappoint a potential mate who is counting on getting what was written. If you have total honesty and communication , online you really get to know a person well very quickly because there are no physical distractions. It worked for me. I believe that EP is the best non dating, dating site. +8 nods |
 | Posted Mar 6th, 2009 at 4:42PM I agree with Bass for once. I actually found my soul mate right here on EP. I couldn't be happier. +3 nods |
| Posted Mar 6th, 2009 at 4:44PM I think you've agreed with me once before so I think that makes 2 :) You two are absolutely what's best about this place +3 nods |
 | Posted Mar 6th, 2009 at 4:46PM I think you should be honest - and don't lie! You don't have to share EVERY detail at once, but you will know if it is right or not! Be you - the right persn will come to you - and you will be happier :) +2 nods |
| Posted Mar 6th, 2009 at 4:46PM : ) She is the best. I just run around smiling a lot. lol |
 Feeling contemplative | Posted Mar 6th, 2009 at 4:51PM This post is completely hilarious! I agree with Krissie - you should have posted the pathatic plea - it would have gotten you the attention of someone who has a sense of humor.. I couldn't agree with Basspla EP is a great place; cept only for the distance issue in most situations.... ~ best of luck ~ |
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