I Don't Want To Be A Turtle

suffocating in my own armour or upside down feet paddling in the stream I will never find. My cat friends are dead because of me. I tried to move and live in peace and in traffic while i was driving they suffocated in the container and I desergve then whatver happens to me. It has been always lkikethis, always somebody there to keep me down and kick me around. On the bus steps I was made to sit and be spit at and mocked like Jesus only I am notr him. I take joy in the song of the trees becasue they don't speak harsh things and choose to be ugly like some people. I wish I was a seagull with my family flying above all the ugliness people tr to give us and people judge and say oh she must have deserved it and I ask why? Was I born to be **** on and spit on and raped and beaten and hated? I try to love who I can and help children and the sickie teacher pastor who I was married to who raped and killed children is hunting us and walking free because he is a whit eman with money he took from me. God sees no colors. My creator loves all colors but hates ugliness. The ugliness of the dead fish peopple who choose tobe blind and put walls arojund everything beuatiul and take everything beautiful until there is nothing left to love anymore. And until I can't love me anymore. Their hate burnes holes in my soul and a chill wind rattles my bones. There is a change of seasons and The creator is coming. He will take us home one day to be free. I saw last night the Cherokee Star and know how they prayed and said look at the bright star and know wherever you are we are also looking at it and praying for you, too. That was in the story about The Education Of Little Tree, a young Cherokee boy taken from his family. I pray no one takes my family away from me it would be as leaves dry and britttle with the wind and veins dried no blood as I have been bled so long my hair I have cut off and it grows out my tears.
stargazer2 stargazer2
46-50, F
2 Responses May 10, 2012

Thank you. More than words can say. Kindness and love is a song in the heart that mends the soul that is torn apart....

Why is this on this site and not the indian page? Because friends turn away and judge and do not want to be involved or say I deserve it or take my ex's side and my tears are clear and my blood red just as anyone else and I can only take so much pain before I am gone. I do not ask anyone for money or pity, just saying somethinga nd wondering have any of you felt betrayed? Lied to? Hurt, broken? Like no one cares at all? Very alone? Loneliness passes all color bariers.