I Have No More Clean Pants!

I'm afraid to go outside.

I have somehow started a habit where I get my morning coffee and sit out on the patio. Of course, the mud hole I have dug is only a few feet away. Sometimes I'm in sweat pants or jeans, but I've now just started walking outside in my socks, which tend to not stay clean.

Inevitably, I have to water the plants. I make sure I also water the dirt a little more than necessary. The dirt around the mud hole feels nice on my socks. Sometimes I sit back down and wiggle my feet in their muddy socks. When I'm done with my coffee, I attempt to weed a little bit just to make it look good (in case the neighbors are watching). I'm always wondering if someone is watching, but I don't care. Once my feet are muddy I start poking a foot in the deep hole that has a good foot of mud now in a hole about 2 feet deep.

I'm always excited when I step all the way in, my socked foot and most of my leg are now under mud, with the other leg soon to follow. I stand there for a few minutes and get out and walk around a little. Walking in muddy socks is just a lot of fun, mud squishing and falling off my pant leg.

Then I pour some water in the hole to make the mud a little thinner, more like a runny pea soup. I widened the hole a little more so that I can now sit in it with my arms fully submerged. When I sit down, at first my legs are in the hole. The mud rises up to the edge and covers my legs, but I'm still not quite satisfied.

I pull one leg out and then the other so the only thing in the hole now is my butt. I start pulling mud out from under me and I start to sink further than I have before. I have mud up to my neck and it's like a big hug, with the mud all around me.

Still not quite enough? I take one of my pant legs and pull it toward me and start shoveling mud into it. The mud is so runny now, I lift my leg and I feel a cool slimey dribble up my leg on the inside of my jeans. I do the same thing to my other pant leg and now I'm sloshing about inside my pants. I can't tell you how good that feels.

I laid in the mud hole completely covered for a while before I had to finally get out and wash off. It's at that time I wish I had someone here to take pictures and wash me off. I don't have an outside shower. Do you know how hard it is to hose off your own back side?

That's ok, I'd do it again and again. I actually ran out of clean pants this weekend playing in the mud. I ended up going for a walk today and getting messy (by accident of course! :-) in my good jeans. But that's another story. Hope you enjoyed your weekend too!
j314 j314
41-45, M
1 Response May 13, 2012

The more mud the more fun, yes. Sometimes I go for mudding in a more remote place, have to take a bus or train, and have some clean clothes in my backback for the return trip. Often, however, when I have done mudding, cleaned myself in some brook or pond and chnged to the dry and clean clothes, I just cant resit the calling of the mud and go in again in my clean clothes! So eventually I will travel home with one set of dirty clothes in my pack, and also wearing very muddy and wet clothes for all to see.