My Boyfriend Has Minimal Communication Skills And It's Getting Worse...I am 25 years old and have been dating a man ten years my senior. He has two children from a previous relationship, but I love them and care for them as if they're my own even though I accept and understand that they never will be.
I've had the gasps and glares from people when I tell them all this so give it a second to sink in.......
Ok, so when I first met him 2 years ago I had been out of a 5 year relationship for 6 months. He seriously showed me the stars. He was everything I never knew I wanted but I fell in love almost instantly. He's responsible, loyal, and kind.
However, the longer I've been with him the more I realize how tightly wound he is and he never communicates with me about things like plans he makes that include either him or me. He is even worse at talking about things that bother him and especially things that bother me.
From the beginning he asked that we both always stay open and communicative. I agreed because I know that communication is essential. The last few months we've gotten in so many ridiculous arguments (always over the smallest or dumbest stuff) and it always goes like this;
-He immediately loses his temper, no matter how calm I am.
-He interrupts me so much and he says he never does.
- He either kicks me out or just storms out.
-He always "says words he doesn't mean" like breaking up and that it's my fault.
-He always makes me cry which makes it even worse.
-He says we'll talk about it later but we never do unless I bring it up.
His new thing he's been doing is accusing me of not liking his children and holding them against him. I have NO idea where this one came from. His kids and I have a very trusting and friendly relationship. They tell me more than they tell him, and when I try to open the door to communication with them he just gets the same closed-off way he does when we argue.
The pain is pretty bad. I am not religious but when he makes me feel this way I want to pray. It's bad enough that I feel frustrated and hurt but the worst is the loneliness. He cuts me off completely and then likes to act like nothing happened.
I know this is a lot to take in. There's a lot more to it but there always is and I just really need someone to talk to. I'm getting more and more used to the pain and I know that's unhealthy.
Simply put, I'm sad because I love him so much and all I want is for him to be happy. But when he's in a bad mood and he never tells me why, I assume it's me and it feels like this imminent dark cloud hanging over me. I always talk to him but I feel like I'm getting the poo end of the stick.