The Gorilla & The Red NeckA small zoo in Alabama obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was
in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton,
a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby
Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to
satisfy a female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was
approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter
over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their
offer, but only under five conditions:
"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper
quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second", he said, "She gotta wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The
keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", he said, "you cain't never tell no one about this." The keeper
again readily agreed to this condition.
"Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern
Baptist." Once again it was agreed.
"And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the