Chuck Norris Makes Onions Cry !
Let's brighten everyone's day with a few Chuck Norris sayings.....
- When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark OFF.
- Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March31 to April2, no-one fools Chuck.
- Chuck Norris tells his GPS where to go.
- Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
- Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass, at night.
- Chuck Norris can drown fish.
- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.
- They once made Chuck norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.
- Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
- When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
- Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one
- Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own
- There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks
- Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.
- If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
- If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
- One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
- Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
- Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.
- Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was
a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
- Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
- Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the **** out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.
- Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear
- Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
How about adding YOUR favourite Chuck Norris sayings..............