Keeping All of You Updated.

I keep getting the news from outer space.  (It usually comes through the filling of my teeth, although sometimes I get it through me penis. )

This is the further adventures of our intrepid crew of three crime fighters.  I have been trying to find a name for them.  any help would be appreciated.





Our scene unfolds at the headquarters of the diabolical and evil genius, Commander Pushky. Over the entrance is a sign, "WRETCHED EXTRATERRESTRIAL IMPLANTATION and REPLICATING DAMAGE OBSERVATORY in small letters. In a large semi-circle, the five inch letters spell out WEIRDO. Inside, on a large commode looking seat, sits Commander Pushky, leader of the WEIRDO space aliens. Glorp, a putrid looking alien stands in front of the commander.

Glorp (GP) -- "Your excellency, I want to congratulate you on your escape from those three goody two shoes who thrwarted your last sinister plan for the EPers.'"

Commander Pushky (CP) --"'Yes, thank you. By the way, who in hell designed this throne?"

GP -- "I am so sorry your lordship, there was a mistake. When we hired the guy we didn't know he was really a plumber . . . and when we said throne . . . .

CP --" IDIOTS! And who, by the way, makes our signs and our logos. Who in hell came up with WEIRDO for our organization name."

GP (cringing) -- "You said a descriptive name, your worship."

CP -- " Klaatu, take this piece of space garbage and thrash him". (Pointing to Glorp)

Suddenly a giant robot looking alien appears and proceeds to beat Glorp senseless.

CP -- "Well done Klaatu. Are our plans finsished for our next assault on the sniveling EP subscribers?"

Klaatu ( KT) -- "Moonlight madness sale. Hurry. Everything half price. Starts tonight. Beep, honk, shreek, beep."

CP -- "#$@#$^%%^&** It's impossible to get good help nowadays." (Glorp regains his senses) "Glorp, are the plans finished?"

GP -- "Yes, your highness. I have them here." (He produces a large roll of paper)

CP -- (Reading the plans) " Ah yes, This will work, but where will we get three tons of whipped cream?" He farts loudly.

GP (Wretching) -- "It is taken care of, Your exalted flatulence. And by the way. We have found out that the weird Levin60Kitty of EP is actually Sergeant Tim, head of the EP *******,s (Association of Space Searchers , Harrassing Outerspace Extraterrestrials.) The three goody two shoes who protect EP are members of that organization."

Evil organ music pervades the air as we fade to the planet Moo, where our three super-heroes sit in the 256th floor penthouse they call headquarters.

MM (MooMouse) -- "Look, up in the air, it's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's, it's, it's."

CK (Curiosity Kitten) -- "It's a signal from Sergeant Tim. There must be trouble at EP. Either that or the dumb old coot is on another bender. Where does he put all that alcohol he drinks?"

DS (Dasmuggler) -- "Geeze, I wish that moron would learn to spell."

CK --" What."

DS -- "Oh nothing, we should be on our way. EP is in peril from the sinister CP. Either that or sergeant Tim thought up another lame joke,"

All three laugh and shake their heads. We see all three boarding their space ship for travel to EP.

"All for one and one for EP," they say in unison.

MM -- "I thought it was One for all and all for EP."

CK -- Whatever.

Our scene fades again to EP where sergeant Tim, leader of all the EP **** holes sits typing stupid things on his computer.

ST (Sergeant Tim - AKA levin60kitty) --" Dum de dum de dum dum dum," he says as he types merrily along. "Gee, I wrote a really stupid post yesterday and no one called me on it. Maybe I can get away with something dumber today." The radio comes to life.

DS (over some static) -- "Sergeant Tim, this is Dasmuggler, we are inbound. What is the problem?"

ST -- "DS, did I tell you the one about . . . ."

DS -- "%^$#$#@%^&* Yes, you told me that one and all the stale jokes in the world. We just came a gazillion miles to answer your call. What is the problem?"

There is hushed silence.

DS -- "I,m waiting."

ST (Pouring another glass of Jim Beam) -- Yes, it seems that Commander Pushky and his evil minions are attempting to . . . ." With that, the transmission fades.

Will EP be saved?

Will Sergeant Tim get drunk again and insult all his friends?

Will our three superheroes defeat the evil Commander Pushky?

Will Commander Pushky prevail and turn us into entrees? tune in tomorrow, same EP time, Same EP channel.

And now a word from our sponsor. Buy Alien Prevention pills. They are extraterrestrial and only cost an arm and a leg.

levin60kitty levin60kitty
5 Responses Feb 11, 2009

Fairy - well it starts to throb, then vibrate a little. Then these tingling sensations start as I twist it in order to tune in the right station -- oh, you were talking about receiving alien messages! I thought it was about me and my wife when we (The rest of this post is censored by the dirty old man censorship board. We will give Levin thirty whacks for posting this XXX rated trash.)

I know that you will get royal ties from Windsor Castle!

Call it whatever as long as I get royalties

EPPOO (EP Protectors Of Ourselves).

You may have what you wish Mrs Mouse of Moo. What do you and the other two crime fighters call your trio?