Another Stupid Ep Adventure

The old white haired curmdudgeon sat in his small office with a glass of Jim Beam in his hand, singing.  "Over hill, over dale, we will hit the dusty trail," suddenly a shout came from across the street.  "Shut up, you stupid idiot.  We all know you are retired from the army, but do you have to sing that damned song all day long."
    Levin farted loudly.  "Hey, you can kiss my &**^%$##@%^%**&&*, you stupid %&^&^^%$%&*. And your momma too."
    Just then he heard some of the kids outside.  "Look, up in the air, it's, it's, it's, oh my god, it's a naked man, flying."
    Levin farted again, stumbled to the window and looked up, just as the naked man crashed through the window.  "Never fear, NudeinVA man is here to save the day.  Uh, sorry about the window."
    "Damn it, naked man, we stopped writing this crap two weeks ago," Levein mumbled.
    "Nudein VA man never stops fighting crime.  He always rises to the task before him."
    Levin smirked, thinking dirty thoughts about what the naked guy just said.  "Always rises, ha ha ha ha - You bring anything to drink, naked guy?"
    "NudeinVA man keeps his body pure.  He doesn't put alcohol in it."
    "Well look, nude man, I was just going to pour myself a stiff one," he smirked again.  "Stiff one, ha ha ha ha."
    "NudeinVA man never refuses to drink with a friend when invited.  I'll take a double, with a twist of lemon, two ice cubes, and a frosted glass."
    Levin stared menacingly at the naked man as he poured the drink.  "Look, I'm almost out of booze.  I'll buy if you fly. No pun intended."
    The naked man chugged his drink.  "Nudeman will always help a friend in need.  Cross my palm with silver and I will be right back."
    "Okay, naked guy.  Here's the money.  There's a little package store down on the highway."
    "I will be back in a flash," NudeinVA man said.  Levin smirked again.  "Flash, ha ha ha ha."
    The naked man crashed through the other side of the window to the screams of the children outside.  "Faster than a streak, I will be there and back.  Oh, sorry about the other half of your window," he yelled as he flew away.  The children outside screamed again.
    Levin smirked again.  "Streak, yah ha ha ha."
    Suddenly the doorbell rang.  "Come in," Levin said, belching and farting at the same time.
    You stupid ^**&^%$$.  g&&^^$%&& it, the &**&%$**$ door is )*(**Y$## you stupid %^^#$#^&*&&^(90 kiss my %&$#@$.
    Levin walked toward the door.  "Just a minute Dasmuggler.  I forgot to unlock the door."
    Dasmuggler walked in, replete with a black cape with red velvet lining, a batman ears hat, and black satin leotards.  "I am here to start the new %^^%$#$# adventure that ^&^%$%you&^@#$$# said you ^&^%$#@ write a story &*&^%#$@$.
    "Look, the naked guy was just here.  I told him that we finished writing that stupid story." Levin chugged the remainder of the Jim Beam and turned the bottle up to get the last drop out.
    "%$%%%#@$%%^&&*&%$%#%%%$ %%$# ^%#@@ %%$#@%^&&*^^^ it," dasmuggler said.
    "I was just gonna pour another drink as soon as the naked guy gets back.  You want to have a snort with me and him?"
    "Why the *&^%&* not, I %^$#@ am thirsty because that %^&&^%& couldn't #$@%^," just then the sound of a crash startled both men.  The naked guy plummeted through the roof and into the small offfice.  "Nudein VA man is here with refreshments.  Oh, sorry about the roof."
    "Yeah, yeah," Levin said.  "Look, crack that bottle," he stared at the naked guys rear and laughed.  "Crack, ha ha ha ha ha."
    Dasmuggler said, "pour me one straight up, stir it a little."
    The naked guy handed levin a drink and turned to fix Dasmuggler one.  Dasmuggler screamed, "&*&^%$# it, why are you stirring the drink with your *&(* naked guy?"
    "I couldn't find a spoon," the naked hero said.
Fast forward three hours.  Our super heroes and the drunk curmudgeon are lying around the small office.  The doorbell rings.
    "Whoosh dere at my door," Levein drunkenly said.
    "It's MooMouse and Curiosity Kitten.  You guys better not be drunk in there."
    "Oh crap, I'm %^&^%$# wasted.  They're gonna beat the **** out of me," Dasmuggler said.
    "nudeman never gets drunk," the naked guy said, falling into the computer desk and wrecking everything there.
    The two super heroines walked into the almost demolished house.   They both had on bright red outfits with chartreues green trim.
            Moomouse walked to Levin and slapped him across the face.  "Look, you old pervert.  If you want me in these stupid stories of yours you are gonna have to write me something decent to wear.  You start me off with pink and now you give me this.  This is terrible.  
            Curiosity Kitten walked to Levin and slapped him.  "That goes for me too, you color blind old fool."
            Levin farted loudly again.
     "Gross," both girls said.
    "Are you girls mad at me," Dasmuggler said.
    They both slapped him.  "Now, what about the next adventure we are to go on.  Levin, You wrote about poor Pushky and now he has disappeared.  Who are you going to make the bad guy now?"
    "Naked guy will undertake any adventure," NudeinVa man said, standing wobbily up.
    Both girls slapped him.  "Gross," they said.
    "You girls bring any thing to drink," Levin said.
    "Gross," both girls said, as they took turns slapping Levin again.
    Levin took out his pen.  "Okay, we might as well have another adventure.  Let's start it right here at my house.  Let's see, once upon a time," he wrote furiously.
    Both girls rolled their eyes and said, "Gross."
Okay boys and girls.  Now turn your magic decoder rings over and see what the message says.  Will the superheroes go on another adventure?  Will Dasmuggler and the naked guy sober up without a hangover?  Will the girls get new outfits?  What about Dasmuggler's case of Tourettes syndrome.  Will the naked guy ever find his pair of pants he lost three stories ago?  The only way to find out is to tune in tommorrow, same EP time, Same EP channel.  Until then, this is Levin saying, "anyone got a drink?"
 

levin60kitty levin60kitty
61-65
3 Responses Mar 11, 2009

replete with a black cape with red velvet lining, a batman ears hat, and black satin leotards?<br />
<br />
I stopped drinking 15 years ago, if I start wearing that, I've started again so stop me please<br />
<br />
^**&^%$$. g&&^^$%&& it, the &**&%$**$

Levin, you are the cat's meow! I turned over my decoder ring and here what it said, no clothes for nudeman, dasmuggler has a worse case of Tourettes than ever before, they will all be fien because they find some great bloody mary's to nurde later on. The women in the story get farted on more than ever in their entire lives, but in new outfits created fro them by Versace, Donatella herself!<br />
BTW, here is some JD to help you stay sane and happy!

I think so. You want to be in it? You will have to wear red leotards. ha ha ahahaha