Another Stupid Story *** Chap 2

Suddenly the sound of something moving extremely fast was heard.  A woman, dressed in high heels, chartreuse leotards with red trim and a purple beret ran into the room.
    " I am really, really, bitchy today," she said.
    "CK and MM turned to her.  "Who are you?" they said, together.
    "MissBebe (BB) is my name.  Correcting stupid stories is my game.  I just read how you girls slapped these men.  How could you slap them like that?"
    MM - "Well, they are drunk and Levin farts all the time."
    BB - "Yes, they are drunk, but they shouldn't be slapped like that."  All three men stand close to BB,
    CK - "Well, maybe you are right."
    BB - "I know I'm right.  Here's how you should slap these pieces of crap."  She balls her fist up and knocks all three men down.  "Now, you scum sucking, bottom feeders, the next time you three get drunk, I will really put a butt whipping on you.  And Levin, here's some gas x pills.  Take them."
    Levin aka Sergeant Tim (ST) - "Hey, bitchy woman, you got a drink?"
    MM and CK - "Gross."
    BB - (Slapping ST hard and knocking him down again.)  "You might not have any teeth later, you old pervert.  You better sober up."
    ST - "Owhhhhhh"
    NV (nudeinva man) - "BB woman, I am nudeinVA man.  I fight evil villains and go about the world doing good.  what might you wish from me?"
    BB - "Where are your pants?"
    NV - "Pants are no requirement for a superhero."
    BB - "You come up a little short in the nude department."
    NV - "It's not how short you are but how you use it, anyway."
    MM and CK - "Yeah, right."
    ST - "Hey ladies, he's a "crack" superhero.  Get it?  Crack?  It's a joke."
    All three women slap levin again, knocking him to the floor.  
    BB - "Yeah,. we get it.  You three will have to sober up if you want to have another adventure.  I brought these pills.  Each of you take one."
    ST -  "Are these enzyte, the ones enzyte Bob advertises on TV?  You know, the ones that make men larger and . . . ."
    MM and CK - "Gross"
    BB - (slapping Levin once again and knocking him to the floor). "Take the pill, you idiot."
    All three swallow the pills and are instantly sober.  
    ST - (Looking inside his pants) " It didn't get any larger!"
    MM, CK, and BB take turns slapping ST.
    BB "I just came from EP headquarters.  The Boss there says there are too many people on EP who can't spell correctly.  They are causing mass confusion.  We have to do something."
    ST - "Lets have a drink and think about it."
    BB - (Slapping ST once again)  "Lets go do something about it.  Anyone got an English book?"
    MM - (Taking several books from her LEOTARDS.)  "Never leave home without them."
    CK - "That is very strange.  You carry English books inside your leotards?"
    MM - "Yes, doesn't everyone?"
    CK - "No.  I mean, keeping a snadwich and a cold beer there is reasonable, but .  . . . "
    BB,MM,CK,NV,DS, all together.  One for all and all for EP.  Let,s root out this evil from the pages of EP.
    ST - "First, lets have a drink."
    All five superheroes take turns slapping ST
And now a quick word from our sponser.  Tired of being too small, men.  Do you want a BIG change in your love life.  Do like enzyte Bob and receive these free pills.  They are guaranteed to make you larger, more firm, increase your staying power and . . . ."
    BB, CK, MM (together)  "Yeah, right."
And now fast forward to an EP subscriber just before posting something on EP.  He laughs diabolically.  "Yes, ur instead of you're, and u instead of you.  I can magle the language so much everyone will catch my stupidity.  yah ha ha ha ha ha; ha.  This post will make those superheroes so mad . . . . yah ha ha ha haha Try to make me use proper English on this post will they.  I will show them, yah ha ha ha ha"
And now the scene fades to the state mental institution.  A man sits in a stark room, dressed in a straight jacket.  There are electrodes attached to his head.  The burly attendant sits in front of the controls.  "Now, Mr. Jones.  You want to use proper English on EP?  How do you spell this?"
    Man in straight jacket (MS)  "t-h-i-s, this."
`    Attendant - "No, it's d-i-s, dis" he presses the lever, sending two hundred amps through the man."
    MS - "Yeeahhhhhhhhhh owhhhhhhhh arghhhhhhhh it hurts."
    Attendant - "Once again, how do you spell this?"
    MS (Crying) "T . . ." he is interrupted by the arc of electricity.  "Arrgghhhhh, yeowwwwww, ohhhhhhhh, yeoowww, god, it hurts.  Please leave me alone."
    Attendant (suddenly with antenna where his ears had been and turning green)  "You will misspell it.  You will."
    MS - "Why, you, you, you're a space alien, sent here to implant chips in our brains.  I knew it,  Argghhhhhh, yeowhhhh, hellppppppp," he screams as the elevtricity courses through his body again.
    Suddenly the walls of the mental instituion crash as the naked guy crashes through.  Dasmuggler steps across the debris.  
            DS -  "Aha, a space alien, here in the state mental institution.  I might have know.  You are here to implant chips in our brains and to make our young unable to spell, aren't you?"
    MS - (Blubbering) "Bless you, Mr Snuggles,"
    DS - "That's Dasmuggler."
    MS - "Yes, tha snuggler."
    DS - #$@$^&*(( you stupid jerk.  It's DASMUGGLER, can't you spell?"
    MS - (Blubbering again) "No, they fried my brain."
    DS - *&%&$@@%$^&%#$%^%%b  Sergeant Tim!  What kind of crap have you written now?  How can I rescue this guy if he doesn't even know how to say my name correctly.  I want to see my union steward."
    ST (erasing furiously)  "Okay, okay, here it is.  The guy is dead.  Instantly MS falls over, and DS stands over his dead body.  The space alien has  now assumed his true form.  DS starts to speak.
    NV "Here I come to save the day."
    DS - "Hey jerk," ST just re wrote this scene for me."
    NV -  "You have a lot to learn my friend.  St is at this moment drinking from the bottle I had delivered to his house.  It is called bribery in nudeland.  "
`    DS  *^%#$%*)*&*^%^$%$$#$@#@
    The space alien evaporates as the transporter snatches him back to the mother ship.
    And now the EP subscriber.  He pushes the button on his computer and laughs.  "That should get them."  He turns to face the camera.  Why, it's Barrack Obama, no, George Bush, no, no, it's Richard Nixon;  oh God, it's commander Pushky, come back to implant chips in everyone's brains.  

Run, run, scream, run in circles, tear your hair out - - - - uh, nah, that sucks, I think I will write something else.  But first, another word from our sponsor.  And now, look at our chubby santa, waiting for all those married women to sit on his lap.  He has a big smile on his face and just because he used enzyte he believes he is a better golfer and all the women in town are after him.
    ST - Everyone knows it's not how big you are but how you use it.
    MM, BB, CK -  (from somewhere)  "Yeah, right.) St looks around and scratches his head.
    And now, back at EP management.  Everyone is crying.  A voice is heard.  WHY? WHY? WHY, can't they all use English properly.  All we want is a place where everyone can share their experiences.  The camera pans to the window.  there, looking in is . . . .  The TV fades to another shot of Enzyte Bob.  ST throws his whiskey bottle and break the TV screne.  &*&$%$ idiot commercials.  That stuff doesn't work.  A normal man like me and naked guy don't need any male enhancement anyway.
    CK< MM < BB   (together from somewhere.)  Yeah, right.
Will the superheroes teach English to the EP subscribers?  Will enzyte Bob do another commercial?  Will people still get sick and puke when they read this garbage?  Probably, but you will never know unless you tune in tomorrow to find out.
    Until then, this is Levin, direct from Hog Squeal, Alabama, saying:  "Anyone got a drink?"



levin60kitty levin60kitty
8 Responses Mar 11, 2009

Or better yet, have another slice of pizza. BTW, do yo agree that cold pizza is the best breakfast food!

alines=aliens<br />
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Levin.... Jim BeaM oh I get it now<br />
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Beam ha ha alines ha ha Beam <br />
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I need a nap now

Just need some medicine. Please call Dr. Jim Beam or Dr. jack Daniels! lol

{shaking head} When did I become so angry?<br />
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These all need to be posted somewhere together so they can be read as one long story!

BTW, when BB is shocked, she speaks in all caps and with many exclamation marks, like this WHAT!!!!!!!!!!.<br />
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For future reference. BTW, i just ran out of my supply of Enzyte, is the stuff that is sponsoring you any good?<br />
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My putting is good, but my driver is way of whack, *wink*!

Levin, you are beyond funny! This is adult South Park! hahahahahaaaaaa