Chapter 3

Miss Bebe sat there staring at Moomouse.  the mouse turned to her.  I know you from somewhere, don't I.
BB - "Well yes, I am you."
MM - "What, you are me.  How can that be?"
BB - "Oh come on.  You EP subscribers are all Star Trek fans.  Remember episode 26 of Star Trek, the next generation?  The one where Mr. Data's head was buried in the cave?  The shapeshifters and time travelers?  Remember?"
MM - "No.  Only real nerds and geeks know all that stuff."
BB - "Well, I, er uh, you were caught in the shape shifters time portal along with Mark Twain.  There was only room for one, so Mr Samuel Clemens went on to the time he was traveling to and you, my dear - I mean me - oh hell, us, er we were thrown out of the portal and wound up in this dimension and time, both of us, I mean - *&#$^@% this is getting confusing.  who writes this crap anyway?"
MM - "It's Sergeant Tim, the old flatulent white haired drunk."
BB - "Is he tall, white haired, smelly, and stupid?"
MM - "That's him."
BB - "I think he is one of the shape shifters.  Guinan warned me about him.  We need to blast him.  Here, take this."  BB hands herself/MM a phaser.  MM starts to fondle it.
BB - "Careful dear, you might accidentally shoot someone."
MM -  Pressing a button of the phaser.  "What is this red button for?"
BB - "No - don't press the red . . . ."  She is evaporated by the phaser.  The last tghing we see is her red ruby slippers.  As her atoms float away a portal opens in the space-time continuum and we see Mark Twain.
Mark Twain - "Whoever writes this crap has rocks in his head.  And he plagiarized the ruby red slippers from the wizard of OZ"  The portal closes.
Mm sits there crying as DS and NV approach.
DS - "What's wrong?"
MM - "I killed myself."
NV -  "You are still here.  How did you kill yourself if you aren't dead?"
MM - Remember Star Trek, the Next Generation show number 26?  That's where . . . ."
DS - (Interrupting) "Yeah, that's the one where Data's head was in the cave and counselor Troi was the only one who could sense the shape shifter space aliens. . . ."
NV - "Yeah, cool, I really dug Guinan in that episode.  Or should I say double episode.  And those shape shifters, what a good episode . . . ;"
Two hours later the duo of DS and NV are still talking about episode 26.  Moomouse screams, "will you two nerds shut up?"
DS - "Sheesh, what's her problem?"
MM - "I killed myself and you two don't even care."
NV - "Look, if you evaporated the person you thought was you, then that wasn't really you, because when they shifted your shape to travel through time, it, &*&&^%$# This **** is still confusing.  Why doesn't someone slap ST again?
CK - (Approaching)  Moomouse, what's wrong?"
MM -  "I killed myself,"
CK - "Girl, you kill me everytime you wear those pink leotards from the last episode."
MM - (crying again) "I told that idiot ST to get me a knew uniform and he came up with this red crap."
CK -  "Someone needs to slap that old geezer silly."
Levin aka sergeant Tim is sitting in a drunken stupor in his now reparied office.  "Good think I talked to that green lizard about my insurance.  Now, if those penguins will just come back and give me my life insurance policy."  Suddenly the radio comes to life.
DS - "Sergeant Tim, we are here looking for the aliens who are teaching our EP subscribers to mis spell everything.  We need a plan, something.  What the hell you want us to do, old geezer? Answer me, ^&&%^$#@%&&*&(**( &&^&*%   &&^%%&&^ ^&&&^$    **&&$%$ it."
ST -  "Look, I had Moomouse and Miss Bebe in the story and they were the same person.  Now I figured a way to kill one of them.  I thought that would be good enough for now.  by the way, when you come by, bring me another bottle."
DS  &***% $%#^^*   *(&*&%  C&&*&^%$  *(&^^** **&& $&&%###$(&*  &**$$#
ST - Well, if you can't, get the naked guy to bring one."
NV - "I will accept the mission sergeant Tim.  He jumps into the air.  Here I come to save the day."
MM - "Does the naked guy always have to sing that."
The time portal opens again to show Mark Twain.  He looks at CK and MM.  I feel sorry for you two.  Stuck between a guy with tourettes syndrome, a guy who won't wear clothes, and a guy who stays drunk all day long.  Do you two have anything to say about this?"
CK and MM together  "GROSS"
DS - "Here's my plan.  We can go home, get a good nights rest and come back tomorrow, prepared to do battle with the evil spelling aliens."
MM and CK - " Okay, tomorrow morning."
ST at his office. " Hmmmm I think MooMouse would look good in one of those granny dresses with the big clogging boots." (He prodeeds to call the store.)"
And now for a word from our sponsor.  (The volume goes up twenty notches and a man comes on screaming)  "Hi, I'm Billy Mays and today for only 19.95 you can get this wonderful thingy that does absolutely nothing.  It is guaranteed to do what the sponser says or you get all your money back.  Buy one in the next ten minutes and we will throw in a new cadillac eldorado.  Only nineteen ninety five.  Hurry, there's only eighty two million left.
As we leave our superhero quartet, NV is flying to headquarters, DS is having a tourettesattack, MM is still wondering if pink makes her butt look too big and CK is wondering if ST will puke on her new shoes like he did the last time.  Tune in tomorrow.  We guarantee the next episode will be stupider than this one.  Until then, this is Levin, saying, has anyone seen my bottle opener?

levin60kitty levin60kitty
2 Responses Mar 11, 2009

I too think that the pink does make MM look a little buttier than not! Hahahahaaaaa

Here my friend, a bottle opener plus another fifth of your friend Jack Daniels to keep your creative juices flowing!!