Chap 4

Levin sat, staring at the wall and sipping the last of his Jim Beam.
    " Damned story is getting too complicated.  I wonder where Pushky went.  He used to post something stupid every day and now . . . .  I miss him - he was the only one here as stupid as I am."
    A crash is heard as the naked guy plops down in the office.
    NV - Here I am to save the day.  Uh, sorry about the wall.
    ST aka Levin - Yeah yeah, did you bring the booze?
    NV - Yes, I put it right here.  He draws the booze from one of his body orifices.
    ST - Uh, naked guy, would you wipe the mouth of the bottle off before you pour a shot?
    NV - Nude man can do anything. (He proceeds to wipe the mouth of the bottle off and pour two stiff drinks.) get it - stiff - ha ha - hey, I ought not to have to explain these stupid jokes.
    ST - Oh f*&k, look at the calendar!
    NV - I'm looking.  what is it supposed to do?
    ST - No, today is the 12th.  I leave for Mexico tomorrow.  How am I going to finish the story?
    NV - I always finish my stories with, "they lived happily ever after."
    ST - Look, fly back and tell all the guys to meet at EP headquarters.
    NV- Okay, I need another drink first.  He takes the bottle and chugs.  Here I go to pave the way, he says as he starts to fly.
    ST - I thought it was "save the day."
    NV - "Hey, you're the one who writes this crap."  He leaps through the wall and the last thing we hear him saying is, "Sorry about your wall."
Our scene fades into one at the EP headquarters.  There is a huge picture of Commander Pushky, draped in black velvet.  Hundreds of aliens are crying and shuffling about.  Three of our superheroes step into the giant elegant room.  We hear the words ^$#$ &*(**%^ $&^$  ^&&$%#$&^ *()(&&^%&$#$#*
    MM - "What is it DS?"
    DS - "*%$@#^^$#@$%^&*(()_)"
    CK - "Good morning.  Hey where is that naked guy?"
    NV - (crashing through the plate glass window)  "Here comes naked man to save the day.  Uh, sorry about the window."
    MM - I thought it was, "here comes . . . ."
    CK - (interrupting) "Who in hell knows."
    MM grabs one of the aliens and puts him into a strangle hold.  "Tell us what this is all about.  And what have you done with EP management?"
    The alien - "Look, your strangle hold doesn't bother me, but those clothes.  OMG just tell me what you want ----- don't make me look at those clothes anymore."
    CK - "Look over there.  It looks like new clothes hanging in the closet."
All four superheeroes walk to the closet.  The are four garmet bags with their names on them.  NV rips his open to find an emptry coat hanger.  He screams, yes, exactly what I love to wear.
The othere three take their bags and head to the bathrooms to change.  MM is the first out of the bathrooms.  She is dressed exactly as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.  She even has on the ruby red slippers.  The time portal opens again and we see Mark Twain (MT)
    MT - That bastard ST has gone too far this time.  He is plagarizing everything.  The time portal closes.
    CK - (stepping out of the bathroom, dressed as the cowardly lion - her costume even has a tail - the aliens are all laughing)  "That idiot ST.  How can we do superhero stuff dressed like this?
    DS - (dressed as one of the munchkin lolipop guild members)  the aliens are falling on the floor laughing as DS says %&$%##@%^**&^$$$&^&*&***(()%$##
Suddenly a loud fart is heard.  ST steps into the EP headquarters hall.  All the aliens are rolling on the floor, laughing.  St is dressed as one of the flying monkeys.  He has his bottle of booze in his hand.
    ST - "Laugh now, you alien chip implanters.  I will have the last laugh."  He belches loudly.
    CK and MM walk to St and slap him.  He looks blearily at them.
    ST - The real alien headquarters is right under our feet, in the basement.
There is a drum roll.  Suddenly the hall is quiet.  The aliens all stop laughing and look at ST.  "Get him," one says as the hundreds of aliens attack.  There is pandemonium as the aliens are killed one by one.  finally the entire hall is alien free.
    DS - ^&$#^ ST - how do we get to the real alien headquarters?"
    ST - "Dorothy, er uh, I mean Moomouse, can you click your heals together three times?"
All the superheroes stare at ST as the time portal opens again.  We see Mark Twain flipping the bird.
    MT - "Look, you drunken idiot.  This s the stupidest story I've ever heard or seen.  And you are trying to humiliate these nice young superheroes.  Just because you are leaving for Mexico tomorrow doesn't mean you can plagiarize whatever you want to."  The time portal starts to shift.  ST screams.  More aliens attack.  Dinosaurs roam the earth.  The captain of the Titanic tells everyone to man the lifeboats.  ST farts,  MM cries, DS curses, CK stares at the portal, and the naked guys says --------------------------nah, that sucks big time.  Lets see, then the naked guy grabs the other three and flies toward the time portal.
    NV - "This is the only way to get away from the aliens."  
They fly into the time portal just as it closes.  Mark Twain shouts to ST, "F&^k  you, you idiot."
We hear NV say, "sorry about the time portal walls Mr. Twain."
    And they all lived happily ever after or at least until Levin gets back from his Mexico vacation.  
I will be in Mexico and Texas for a week.  It will be rough going.  All they have to drink there is tequila.  I am allergic to Margueritas.  The other night I dreamed I was drinking a giant Marguerita and ate the worm from the tequila bottle.  When I woke I was laying on the bathroom floor.  There were lime peels all around and salt around the edge of the commode seat.  I wonder if I did eat the worm.  Later.

levin60kitty levin60kitty
5 Responses Mar 12, 2009

Probably some Jim Bean or jack Daniel, they know how to calm him down!

Somebody get DS a drink, his Tourettes is uncontrollable now!


Make sure your stupor lasts from beginning to end! Great story my friend and sorry about the comment box!

Enjoy Mexico... maybe you should be sure to stock up on Jim Beam at the airport...