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There's A Difference Between Being Alone And Being Lonely...

I quite like being alone. I've always been a bit of a loner, and I enjoy my time to myself. If I'm around people for too long, I really start to crave some time alone. I'm not a lonely person. I very rarely feel lonely, even when I am alone for long periods. But sometimes, loneliness hits me. Often, in fact, it comes when I am not actually physically alone. If I feel lonely, I am usually feeling that way because I am missing a particular person. And that hurts. I get lonely for the company of someone who I miss, and that is a very painful feeling indeed...
BowieGirl BowieGirl 22-25, F 8 Responses Sep 7, 2010

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I can relate to how you feel, because at the moment even I'm in a cafe with a group of friends, I still feel like I'm all by myself. And I miss my ex!

Indeed I know exactly what you mean... Sigh... It is a tough burden to bear and a tough mask to wear to hide that which is so painful bc it comes from one so close.

Yes, I can relate to that too. The person is still around, still with you, but you miss them because things have changed and just don't feel the same anymore. I have a similar situation at the moment with a very close friend of mine... I feel our friendship has changed. I still speak to him every day, but I miss the way he used to be. I miss my old friend, the way he was before he changed. And the change in him changed me too, in ways I don't like. He is still with me, but I miss him, and the way we were before, badly.

Indeed I'd have to agree... Ive even been lonely bc I was missing the person I'm sitting next to. I know it sounds odd but I suppose it wasn't so much missing her as missing what we once were. We were still in the same relationship, but it was like neither of us was the person we truly are and we didn't treat each other the way both of us deserved like the fire that burned inside us was extinguished and we were merely hollow shells playing out a story in which we weren't really involved in...it killed me but I couldn't tear down my walls to fix it bc her's were in place and it's safer to stay in the familiar darkness of ones own self...

There most definitely is a difference between the 2. I enjoy being alone but loneliness tears me apart. Solitude is peaceful, loneliness is a knife flaying my to the bone.

I know exactly what u mean

Haha... Well, maybe that's why I don't get lonely often. I always have my two cats around, and frankly, they are better company than most humans. ;-) Now, supposedly cats can't learn as many words as dogs, but I've made a list of almost 200 words and phrases that my cats understand. They understand quite complex concepts like "Be careful!" and "Be gentle", and they even understand what an apology is, and what "thank you" means! If I do something to hurt or scare them by mistake, they forgive me immediately when I make an apology like "Mama's sorry." and/or "That was a mistake." Anyway... Enough about my cats, those stories are for another group. ;-) But yeah... I guess what it comes down to for me, is that I never just crave human company in general. Some people get lonely and just want to be with someone, anyone, just not to be alone. I've never understood that... Loneliness for me, when it occurs (Like now... Ouch! :( ) is simply the pain caused by the absence of a certain person, or people, who I care about.

I understand completely. Loneliness means that you long for the company of someone. It could be a dog, a cat, a horse, or a person. Animals don't usually talk back and if they do, you don't know what they mean usually. Dogs can memorize up to 200 words of your language but so far, even though I learned several languages I don't bark well enough to get my point across.