The Problem With Lonliness

I feel it way too often and no you don't have to be physically alone to feel it. I believe that living with one's self is the hardest person to live with. Not liking yourself or feeling unworthy of the company of others makes you feel very, very lonely. So, being alone with your unworthy self is so excruciating to bear. I read some where that learning to be comfortable with yourself is one of the hardest things to accomplish. I think this is true. Everyone wants to be better, smarter, richer or in general more perfect in some way. It is when you are reflecting on your imperfections that you feel lonely even if you aren't consciusly aware of thinking about yourself. You get that nobody loves me feeling because it is you that feels you aren't worthy of love. But the very fact that you feel lonely means that whether you are aware of it or not, you are working on being a better person. You are forming your idea of the perfect YOU. It can be so uncomfortable some time just being in your own skin. The lonliness makes you feel like you need confirmation from another person that you are an okay person. This is probably one of the most untalked about subjects because it is hard to admit your own self doubts. Everybody feels it at times but no one wants to admit they do because it tears at your self image and makes you feel so vulnerable to the rest of the world. Some do find others who will affirm they are an okay person while some will just suffer it out until it passes. If we all could give ourselfs the same self acceptance we grant other people, we probably wouldn't be lonely. It is so hard to do. I wish I could do that too.
Libbilee Libbilee
61-65, F
3 Responses Aug 13, 2012

I give others so much acceptance but never really truly accept myself. It's so hard when you want validation from others so bad! I just wish people would notice the beauty inside me:}

You must be beautiful inside or you wouldn't be able to give so much acceptance to others. Sometimes I think that those who give are the least likely to get obvious signs of acceptance because others assume they don't need it. I guess the logic is you wouldn't have so much to give if you needed it so much. If it is any consolation to you, it is the giving kind that is missed the most when they aren't around. Betcha, if you went on a trip your phone would be ringing constantly by the second day with friends needing to know "when ya coming home".

Wow! Thank you I feel beautiful right now! And you know what I have fantastic friends right now who do exactly what you just mentioned! When I wrote my comment I thought things would never change, but now life is so worth it! Thank you for your replay! Beautiful person<3

agree whole heartedly with your wise words. I also believe that acceptance is one of the greatest gifts one can give another. Thank you for saying it so well.

Agreed, but not for us all. Some people don't need confirmation, just acceptance. To know that there is someone in the world who knows you for who you are, both the beautiful and the ugly, and is okay with it. Sometimes, all we need is to know the there is someone in this world who will not leave us. And sometimes, we use the hypocritical "we" to explain ourselves, when in truth, all we want to say is "I". Thank you for your kind words.