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The Crazy Outcomes!

I keep thinking and dreaming about all these crazy and alternate outcomes my life could take. Things like rejection, loss of friends, hate discrimination. I'm so worried that the people I feel close to now are going to someday reject me if they know the real me. I feel like I want to be distant from them and everything but then I get lonely. What to do? What to do? I'm seeing an amazing future but then I see something evil distorting my destiny. Something that will stop me from completing my journey and be truly happy. Why do I sometimes feel I am below others and society I'm struggling so hard. My best friend gave me the best advice ever! But she is in a far away land were I can't feel her touch or her warmth to comfort me. I just need to know that my friends will love me no matter what! As I do them, I sometimes feel a little sucidal, but then I think of all the things I can accomplish and who I can become, and who I can inspire! I want to change so bad I just don't wont to do it alone. Society can be so hard on us. I know only the strong survive and the weak don't! Where is my other strength? I can't be strong alone, not in a world full of millions of people. Still I have to be a soldier. The past I have finally forgotten, the future I am afraid of, my present I am at war! What will I do? Will I come out of this battle a victor or a prisoner of myself! So much pain so much confliction! :{
AndrogynousBeauty AndrogynousBeauty 22-25 1 Response Oct 15, 2012

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Hi,I definitely know how you feel, and I'm sure many others do too. Last year I was suffering from anxiety and depression, so I took up therapy. My therapist introduced me to mindfulness and meditation practices. It has completely changed my world. If you're interested, books by Thich Nhat Hahn, Adyashanti, and Jack Kornfield can help you look into it further. Best of luck, and remember, 'life is falling down 100 times and getting up 101'.

Thank you! I do have some books by those authors. You know what, I will take up meditation! Thank you for your advice! Life is worth it knowing that someone like you can help another in need! You are beautiful<3 thank you for your sympathy:}

You won't regret it. Best wishes, may you be happy and find peace. :)

:}<3