So Can We Treat It?

When fear changes from being a vital survival mechanism to being a life-impairing, inappropriate response to a situation, we call it a phobia. It is a misfiring of a vital part of the brain, and there is an approach to treating it as such - help to untangle that part of the brain's wiring that has gone haywire.

But what about love? Love is a vital and wonderful emotional state that brings us ecstasy and fulfillment when we love someone and they love is in return. However, what happens when we develop that emotional state around someone who is either never going to be available or interested or is simply grossly unhealthy for us?

For whatever reason, romantic love has been given some sort of special, sacred protection; it is rare for people to think about it as being an emotional state - instead it is often tied to mystical or supernatural elements, given special labels like "true love", "soul connections", etc.

The idea of developing treatment approaches to help people be cured, or cure themselves of love that is bad, life-impairing and at times out-right self destructive might strike some people as abhorrent, or unromantic.

But if you look about the EP, there are many people who have either infatuation states, or love states that are doing their lives tremendous damage. And in doing so, they prevent *genuine* romance, and potentially damage any future chance for future love. Just how romantic is that?

What's more, many people would very much want a treatment for bad-love, love that they know is not good, and especially when they have already acted to try and distance themselves from the source of the problem but find that the emotions will not fade. We no longer expect people to just get over sadness gone wrong  (depression), from anxiousness gone wrong  (anxiety disorders), or from fear gone wrong (phobias). Love is more complex than all of these, but it is surely that is all the more reason to try and develop a better framework than "get over them".

Love is beautiful, love is sacred, it may well be the most important thing in your life ever, but when it misfires, it can be a calamity, at times a fatal one. Perhaps it is time to change the way we think about the condition of love gone wrong.
TheTardyDodo TheTardyDodo
31-35, M
4 Responses Aug 19, 2007

So well said... We always just shrug and say, love is blinding. This is true, but you really see that there is unhealthy love also. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I hope all those who need to read this do, and really examin themselves. <br />
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My immediate thought was... I would never feel this way. I do not fall into this category, but I know "so-in-so" & "wildwoman" do.-(Forgive me if someone has that name) Really we all have a tendency to fall into some of the love traps. But not me... nooooo siree....

Dreams unwind.........loves a state of mind..........stevie nicks

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:D<br />
happiest day of my life!

well said! I think the basic idea of love and a longing for what may have once been or what the 'victim' is hoping for can keep them attached to things that they know are bad for them. In this sense, both love and hope can be viewed as damaging =/<br />
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but it was very wonderfully written! It reminded me of upen hehe