I Am Lonely And I Need Love :(

Right this moment I feel so empty and I dun really know who am I'm missing so badly. I do have few secret guy friends and my husband doesn't know this.I met a few and get really close to some of them. I enjoy spending time texting to some of them.

This year alone,I have met 4 guys and we went to some places. But there is one guy I like the most. His name is Shan. He is a parole officer and I have talked about him in previous confession. Though he is not around and we dun talk much on phone,I miss him so dearly. I know he may have few other girls other than me,but I know he also like me so much.

What makes me miss him so much?
I honestly feel that it is the passionate sex that he gave me. Though it was just for two beautiful days full of sex,the images of us making out really drives me crazy.Yes,we are planning to see each other again,but waiting gets me impatient and crave for his love so much.

I dunno if this is love,but I can just live without his text because I dun want him to think that I am desperate. Sometimes I get really jealous reading comments from other girls everytime he posts something on Tagged. But,showing jealousy is so seducion-turn-off. I want him to always feel that I am the kind of girl who care not of whatever he is doing,though in fact I do.

I think I should thank my high ego and attitude of not being so pushy. But God,it cuts sometimes and truth is,it is so difficult. But I will not even once show him how I feel.

I miss him kissing my lips and caress me. I miss his body so close to mine. I miss dancing with him in our hotel room.

To keep myself distracted from thinking about hin all the time,I do have few other guys and I wish I could spend and have good tike together. The fact is,I love meeting new people. And I want to spend nights with them. At least just to have a cuddle on bed and kiss all night long. :)
melitta melitta
26-30, F
Sep 8, 2012