Love Causes Insanity

Love is brutal. Love lies. Love will make you forgive every indiscretion, love will make you believe when they tell you that it will never happen again, love makes you a fool that will believe when they say "trust me".

I do not know how many times I have have danced this dance with my spouse. I do not know how many times I have been cheated on, lied about and lied to, only to forgive with open arms. Which leads me to my current situation, where the same patterns and the same routines are happening again, and I see the tears in her eyes as she says "I thought you trusted me?" "How could you do this to me, when you said that you forgave me and we are moving on?"

Now I question my sanity...I question if she is really callously hurting me again, or if I am just paranoid because she is following the exact same patterns as before? I cry myself to sleep some nights, and I know...I know that if I am right, and she is doing this again, that all she has to do is shed a tear and say, "I'm sorry...please forgive me"...Love has made me an emotional masochist, because I have have been longing for these past 7 years is just a taste of that feeling that I had when we first met. The first time I had ever felt true love, a short time before I felt love's black venom poisoning my heart, my mind, and my soul. I am no longer a whole woman, because love has made me her *****.
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Dec 12, 2012