Post

Feeling Melancholy

I'm kind of having a "day".

There's been a great deal happen in my life recently and it's been rather filled with ups and downs. Which is not at all abnormal, who's life isn't? What is abnormal however, is my seeming inability to quickly rebound from the lows as I normally would. They seem to be lingering, holding on, sometimes crushing the breath out of me.

I'm really tired today, worn out emotionally and exhausted from sleeplessness. So I took the day "off" so to speak. I've been taking it easy around the house, doing nothing really, just being lazy. While being lazy I've been listening to the playlist I posted awhile ago, created for me by a very dear friend. I love the list, I love the music he chose, it's very me and always speaks to me in someway. Today though I was especially struck by one particular song.

I sometimes struggle with loneliness, I wrote a "poem" about it on here quite some time ago, but for the most part I'm good. My life is rather blessed, and I have an amazing circle of friends - both on EP and in real life. Sometimes though, sometimes it's hard and sometimes I especially miss certain people, special friends and loved ones. When this song came on today that feeling hit me, hard.

I was in the middle of making some food and my hands started to shake, the tears began streaming down my face and I couldn't stand anymore. I collapsed to the floor and cried, for a long time. Thinking about people (especially one friend), remembering them, missing them, wondering about them and wishing ... for things, things I can't have. Things that it does no good to dwell on, things I can normally be rational about. In this moment though, none of my rationalizations mattered. I was overwhelmed.

I don't even know why I'm sharing this, or the song. Other than it's beautiful and it touched me today, and I think it will touch some of you as well. I don't want to share sadness, normally I wouldn't. Today though, today I am having a "day".

It's You
By Tony Lucca


I watch the sunset, while you watch it rise.
Flame colored teardrops burning my eyes.
While you find another day, thousands of miles away.
One more night finds me alone, holding on
To the simple and sweetest thought of you-

It’s you, it’s you.

I’ll out dance the ocean, parade in the sand.
Waiting for you, I’ll wait like no other man.
For you to come into me, lay skin to skin with me.
Making me smile and smile-it’s been a while.
Still, making my memories come true.

It’s you, it’s you.

I told her all my thoughts on loneliness.
Shared with her all my fears of afraid.
Maybe there’s no point trying to paint the picture,
Wondering what if she could’ve stayed.

So don’t send me no letters, I won’t drop you no line.
Things will get better, baby in due time.
Just keep me in your prayer and I’ll keep you right here-
Deep in this heart of mine, cause I find,
The only thing that helps me make it through

Is you, it’s you.



I've attached the best quality video I could find, but you really need to get and listen to the official copy of the song. It's hauntingly beautiful. 


Hongruilin Hongruilin 31-35, F 11 Responses Feb 4, 2013

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HUGS to you sweety.

Thanks sweetness. *hugs back*

thank you

Thanks for the info. I hope you didn't think i was saying it in any sort of negative way, i was just curious, infact its quite nice to hear peoples views and experiences from further a field. This is the first time i have ever spoken to anbody outside the uk since my australian pen pal when i was eight, and think its nice to see it dosen't matter where on the globe your from we all seem to have similar problems and life experiences to deal with. thankyou for the welcome you seem very nice.

No, I didn't think you were saying it a negative way, no worries. I agree with you, it is comforting to know that you're not the only one so to speak. Also, you are most welcome.

I don't exactly know what's going on in your personal life but it sounds like you are feeling lonely and in the words of a song has risen some feelings -- the truth, the detachment of a certain friend and how things may have been and may or may not ever be but, those "days" are just a reminder of the things in life we overcome and soon will be a tool for the life lessons ahead. Written beautifully thank you for your post. :] hugs

Thank up you for the compliment on my writing and the hugs. :-)

Im glad you feel a bit better. Is this an american website only found it today when looking for some relationship advice. Im from uk but get the impression lots of people on here are american. like lots of the stories and how people talk about how they feel. will probably stick around.

I wouldn't say it's an "American" website. Yes, it's base is in America and yes there are a lot of American's on here but there are also plenty of people from all over the world. I myself am Canadian, I have spoken with or am friends with people on here that are from: Australia, Belgium, Africa (forget where, haha), Norway and the UK.

I love the site, I love the people, I love the questions and answers but most of all I especially love the stories. People talk about anything and everything there. It provides an insight that we sometimes might not otherwise get and often we can find something to relate to, that bonds us or brings us together with others. Then a new and hopefully lasting friendship is made.

Here, read this:
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Like-Meeting-New-People/2797088

And welcome! :-)

Those lyrics... ouch. Just... ouch. :'(

Yeah, those moments where you are able to rationalize, but can't... and then it hits you. *uck those moments, man. Gah, why when we do well to others, good doesn't come right back? Why can't there be a mental bandage or ibuprofen for the Heart to take when that comes?

...

Just then, it hits me, while I'm on the floor, crying. A voice that's been with me through all those hard times, those times that I've doubted myself, felt ill or angry, that's consciously kept me in control. It tells me that, like a person on a journey, we get hit hard and even though we may get out of the immediate danger, the damage has been done and it affects us. When the adrenaline rush wears out, we begin to realize how much we've been hurt and it hits us, wham, right when we least expect it.

Which, contradictorily, is what we should expect. Though it is not like we can physically do much about it, however, we can handle it as best as we can. Hug ourselves, remember something good about Life, remember how to smile.

Whenever a Warrior is injured, they continue to fight the battle, putting their wounds behind them as best as they can; then, when they are victorious, if there is time and the wounds serious, they take the time to heal and take care of themselves properly. That is what you did on this day.

That is all us Warriors can do to make it.

Funny thing ... I actually thought of you when I was posting this song yesterday. I knew you would get it, and it would probably touch you in some way, that you would get something out of it or have something profound to say about it.

I wasn't mistaken. As always, you expressed it much better, and with more beauty, then I ever could. Thank you.

*huggles*

just like to add,the songs great but not great to listen to on one of "those days"

*laughing*

Yes, it is a great song. Nooo ... was not a good idea to listen to on one of "those days". :-)

we all have those days when things seem worse, or raw feelings are brought to the surface by somehting such as a song that strikes home. Hope you feel strong again soon.

Thank you for your kind words. Today is looking much brighter. :-)

Hey H, just a hug.........and another one. *squeeeeeeze*

Hey solar, thanks sweetie. *hugs back*

When you look back, if it can be done fondly then all can be well for the future too. Change is the only constant, but the past shows us we can deal with it. Your grief is rational, not to be feared, and take the time if you need it. As you say, you have a strong circle of friends (here and there), and they will support you, if you ask....

I do have a strong circle and they are being very supportive, which I appreciate more than I can express. Also, most days I do look back on the past with a great deal of fondness, I try not to have regrets. For everything that has happened and everyone that has been part of my life has helped me to become who I am today, which I am also appreciative for. It was just a moment, a day ... Grief.

Thank you for taking the time to comment and share such lovely thoughts.

I understand, I think that a lot of us on EP struggle with a little loneliness or we wouldn't be socializing here.

Very true. It's just hit me a bit this week, I had a family member die on Friday and have been struggling a bit more then normal as a result.

Thank you very much for reading and taking the time to comment.

Losing someone we love is always hard. ((hugs))

*hugs back*

I've had days like that, more recently than I've had in a long time. I understand; I love you, and my thoughts are with you. *giving you a big hug*

Thanks my dear fellow sprite. Hopefully I'll be back to my playful ways soon. :-)

*hugs back*

It's ok. You can't be "on" all the time. Sometimes you just need time to recharge, feel, process, just be. You've had a lot hit at once, and timing is everything, right? I know you'll be back to your usual playfulness. Just take the time you need to get there.

Your absolutely right and it's the exact same thing I would say to anyone else. I guess I'm just not used to being this emotional and to not being able to process and recover quicker. Thank you for the reminder. You're a good friend.

I believe I had a bout of melancholy recently that I couldn't shake. I, too, normally bounce back quickly, as you know. You gave me great advice, and I appreciate you. You're a good friend, too. You'll get through this and be fine. Times like these are when you grow. You may not realize it at the time, but you'll probably look back and see it.

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