When Did Parents Stop Teaching Their Kids Manners?

Seriously, I have a sister-in-law who is divorced and raising 2 kids on her own. They are 11 and 8 and fun to be with, good, all around kids...but they have zero manners. Now I was raised saying "thank you" when someone gave/did you something, even something as simple as a gentleman opening the door. I was raised asking "please" whenever I wanted/needed something. And I sure as heck was raised saying "Yes Ma'am and No Sir". These kids don't even acknowledge when you give them a gift, or buy lunch for them, whatever. Occasionally I get a "please" but NEVER "yes Ma'am. I have talked to her about this, and she always seems embarrassed, saying 'they should know better', but apparently they don't! It makes me not want to spend time with because they expect me to buy them something or take them somewhere.
Now I am the baby of 8 kids, so I have lots of nieces and nephews, one of which is only 5 yrs. younger and HE says Yes Ma'am to me! Maybe it's because we were all raised with manners that we have passed them on to the next generation, and some of them have their own kids too and are passing on manners, which I think is awesome! My own grandson (just turned 7 last mo.) uses manners without being prompted.
Now, to other kids out there in the world whom I encounter on a regular basis...when did it become "ok" to speaks to adults the way you do? I was taught to respect my elders. Some kids are so rude, I told them to their face they needed to learn manners and stop being a hard-*** if they expected to go anywhere in this world when they got older. Usually that leaves them speechless. One time, a cashier at a local store, actually ran out of the store after me and apologized, saying she was having a bad day. I told her she should learn to smile and be polite, even when others were being mean to her. We all have bad days and her smile ad politeness just might be the only smile they see that day. She hugged me and thanked me. I frequent that store now, just to see her. She calls me "Mom" and has said she wishes her mother was more like me. She has told me she has basically raised herself, as her mom laid around all day drinking and yelling at her. What a horrible influence some of these kids have to grow up with, it breaks my heart. I don't think that is a good reason to not have manners, because they go to school where I know manners are insisted, and they work at jobs where I am sure they are told some manners, or at least I hope so.
TXredhead TXredhead
46-50, F
1 Response Jul 27, 2010

Simple, avoid the ones with no manners or buy them nothing and do nothing for them until they wise up.