"you Don't Have Kids So You Wouldn't Know"

Urgh. I hate it when people say this. Yes, I can appreciate that having kids does give you extra insight... But I don't believe that simply giving birth or taking custody of children, or even legally being considered the "parent" means that you suddenly know exactly how to care for children. After all, if this were true there would be no need for social services in some situations.

Another example - some women will attempt to breastfeed believing that they know all there is to it... Often this is unsuccessful and many people give up. This is where a lactation consultant comes in... Somebody who is an "expert" if you like, with breastfeeding. Chances of a successful and happy breastfeeding experience increase when seeing a lactation consultant....

So my point is, having children does not mean you know how to parent.

I think parents run into trouble when they assume they know it all. Advice from others is taken with offence. I've seen this so many times.

DustMite DustMite
18-21, F
2 Responses Jul 25, 2012

Omg thank you! I completely agree. Especially the part about thinking they know how to be a parent because they have kids- and assuming they know it all. take some advice one in a while people, because they obviously need help. That is why help/experts are there. Not to offend them, but offer their expertise. People need to stop being so sensitive and think about the welfare of their child.

You have very valid points. I am a mother of 4, my oldest 13 and my youngest 5. I have 3 boys and 1 girl and believe me, the difference in rearing boys vs girl is very large. I am more than willing to accept advice of constructive criticism. I also have used that line at a handful of people. When I used it, it was in response to a person who was born and raised an only child, had no children, nieces or nephews and had no experience with children at all (per their words). The topic was discipline and the woman began lecturing me that children should NOT be told the word "No" because it is harmful to their ego. I became annoyed as she kept forcing her opinion ba<x>sed on these new aged ways of parenting that has ended up in creating little hellions running a muck. After she refused to allow me a chance to voice my opinion and pointedly called me a bad mother for use of time out, grounding, loss of privileges and (In extreme cases) a spank to the bottom; I snapped and reminded her that, per her own admission she knew Nothing on raising children and should kindly butt out, unless of course she wished to change lives with me for a week. I do not normally lash out at people, but I also do not allow people to force their opinion on me when they have no idea of what is required of my daily life.