I Don't Know If He Loves Me.I've been with my boyfriend for 5 and a half months. We met on the internet and just clicked right from the get-go. There was never a doubt in my mind that he was the one for me. We're happy and seeing eachother as much as possible, and we talk for hours every day. He is my soul mate and the only person in the world I am totally myself with. I'm so in love with him that I can't breathe sometimes. If I were just basing my knowledge of his feelings on actions, I would have no doubt that he's very in love with me. The fact is, we haven't said those words yet. I've told him in different ways, but still been very clear that I do and would like to say so. He seems to gloss over these admissions and ignore them. He's told me he had a bad experience in his previous relationship where he and his girlfriend were saying it but then both admitted they didn't really feel that way. He says it's made him afraid. He doesn't want to say it just to say it. I understand that, but to me that just means he doesn't. If he felt it, there would be no concern about giving the wrong impression. It hurts to be around him now, waiting for this one thing that's missing. I cry over it more than I'd care to admit. I would say it first, but I'm terrified that he wouldn't say it back. If he didn't, I wouldn't be able to be around him. And if he did there would always be the worry that he said it only because I did. It's hurting me so much that I worry it'll eventually be too much to take, and will ruin our otherwise perfect relationship.
He's my everything and I just love him so much that I can barely stand the weight of it in my chest. I just know if he felt like I do, he'd say it. He hasn't, so all I can think is that he doesn't.
I don't know how much longer I can take it.
Wounded123 18-21 2 Responses 0 May 3, 2011