I've Given My All But My All Was Not Enough

I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years. The first year was great. We did everything together and I felt the love. He would hold me in his arms and his eyes would light up when he looked at me. Our energy around each other was amazing. As the second year came to pass, things started to slide downhill. We argued a LOT and the arguments got pretty intense. Some of them were pretty scary. I've pretty much supported him throughout the whole relationship. I paid for everything while he did nothing. In the beginning he treated me like crap, which was one of the reasons why I became aggressive later on in the relationship. He doesn't remember doing so. I seriously feel no love from him at all anymore. I just feel like a used doormat. I don't know what to do. I have no friends anymore because of him, and I live at his house so Id have to move back with my parents. Id be alone if I left which I don't think I could handle right now.
Prettylonelygirl Prettylonelygirl
18-21
3 Responses May 18, 2012

I used to be in a relationship like that. The best advice I got was from HIS grandfather. He told me to ask myself which was more painful, being alone or being miserable? It was after I ended things that I realized that loneliness, though excruciatingly painful, not not forever. Misery, however can be. Good luck.

Prettylonelygirl: Hey girlfriend, have you ever heard of if he treats you like crap in the beginning then it's only going to get worse. Don't you think that you deserve someone who is going to step up to the plate in the beginning? and love you for who and what you are? Seriously girl, guys like that are a dime a dozen. I have been with three guys in my life that I supported like you are talking about, in the beginning I did everything. As time went on I quit doing because I felt like they needed to contribute and when they didn't, I got pissed off because I felt like they didn't love me. I was right, they didn't love me. They wanted someone to take care of them and that is what I was doing for them in the beginning but then I became pissed off when I couldn't get out of that codependent role I had started with. The best relationships aren't based upon lust; they are friendships first and you have to invent that lust as time goes along. You don't get both unless the guy is superhuman like you are.

I understand completely and am in the same situation now. Its so scary to think about being alone and think about creating a "new normal" for yourself when the relationship your in is dwindling your self esteem, confidence and independence everyday. I wish I could offer some good advice to you, but my life is in the same place, realizing my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore and I might have to move back in with my parents. its hard to imagine your heart not hurting anymore and it always feels like the end of the world when its happening, but once the initial shock wears off and you can get into a routine for yourself, you ll start feeling better, gaining confidence and most likely another guy will pop up to start the whole cycle over again. Just do whats best for you and remember that its not the end of the world, life goes on, itll just be different without him in it. Best of luck