I Miss Him

me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years. our first year was so amazing ! he got me back on my feet. he changed my life completely but for the best. we had the best times together. he lives 30 minutes away from me so we only see each other when we can. i keep reminiscing about all those great times we had. he always use to tell me he loves me so much and tell me how beautiful i am. our first year was perfect. he treats me like a princess. we both cheated on each other in the beginning. i confessed earlier than he did. all of a sudden i had a gut feeling he wasnt telling me something. i felt he cheated on me. he lied to my face and then the next 3 days he told me he did but in the beginning. i was heart broken. i was mad at the fact the he told me a year later. ever since than it was hard for me to trust him. so i started to become over protected and jealous. i argued with him all the time. i treated him so bad. i basically didn't let him do anything. i blame myself for everything thats going on. my mom loves him to death. she even told him to find someone else because he doesnt deserve me. on december he told me he was losing feelings. i cried my eyes out. ever since that day ive been so depressed. i hate myself for ruining the best thing that ever happened to me. were still together. ive changed but i think ichanged too late. i dont want to lose him. i cant imagine my life without him. he saids he's catching his feelings back. i miss him so much though. its not the same at all. i want him to be in love with me. i want him back. i wanna prove to him that im never going back to the way i was. i changed. but how do i let go of whats holding me back. i wana let go of my guilt so i can make myself happy.
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 16, 2013

I know how you feel. Once they say they've lost feelings for you, it's almost impossible to go back to the way it was, right? It's so hard to see clearly sometimes, so difficult to determine who is at wrong and who needs to change or what could have been done better. I love my boyfriend, and we recently almost broke up because him and his best friend claim that I have been treating him badly. I analyzed what they said and believed their reasons to be valid, so I promised my boyfriend I would change for him. I don't believe he will love me back the same way, though, ever again.