My Girlfriend Is Afraid of Patton Oswald


It was a dark and stormy night, a shot rang out and a woman screamed…

 Because she heard the voice of Patton Oswald It rang out from her I-Pod talking about the Damn Yankees    

Was it the band that caused her to panic or was it the voice of the little man himself…     


Or could it be that she just didn’t know how to adjust the volume and I could hear it all the way down here in Texas      

I laughed until my side hurt      

Course being on meds helps…    

dasmuggler dasmuggler
36-40, M
27 Responses Mar 4, 2009

I can hear partially out of one ear. Very little.

oh my I thought you couldn't hear....<br />
<br />
<br />

What happened to my Patton story? <br />
<br />

Thursdays are a two woman show<br />
<br />
usually with at least two or three encores

newdaydogep- I think it would only be proper for dasmuggler to admit exactly what he performs on Thursdays. But let's just say his performance encompasses a multi party audience :)

OK guys - I've been stalking this post wondering what its all about. Now please tell me are you referring to Ratatouille the movie?<br />
And ... Snowy, what does DS perform on Thursdays?

I'll leave the scheduling issues up to you ladies

Oh but you know there is a fine line between pleasure and

The band is always warmed up ha ha

Of course I remember Thursdays. But the Power of Patton won't allow anything but fear.

Did you forget about Thursdays CK? I didnt.. I think dasmuggler is ready to perform....LMAO

ha ha no concerts on Thursday "we" would be too tied up<br />
<br />
Only Patton Oswald could perform after the Nuge

Who could perform after the Nuge?!?

And are you performing for them...oh no its not Thursday ;P

they are all on the apartment lawn holding up lighters

The poor neighbors!!

and your I-pods

<br />
Hide your animals.

Yeah and my neighbors have come to the door asking where the Ted Nuggent concert is being held

I was made dizzy by the intensely loud power of the Patton!!

I would never thought mortal ears would hear<br />
<br />
I had too much Patton

Patton is one of the funniest comedians ever. <br />
<br />
And now that my ears have stopped bleeding, I am regaining my composure.

the comedian did one of the voices in one of the disney movies<br />
<br />
the one with the rat

My neighbors heard it too, from all the way across the apartment complex lol

I wanted to make sure you could hear the Damn Yankees thing. From New York.

it really wasn't the volume folks she's afraid of Mr. Oswald<br />
<br />

Um....yeah. Who would have thought there were volume buttons that weren't really buttons?!?!?!? Who would have thought that all you had to do was run your finger over the stupid volume buttons instead of PRESSING THE DAMN BUTTONS??!!? So every time I tried to press the gosh darn buttons, I was turning the damn thing UP!!<br />
<br />
I'm still scared. <br />
<br />
Stupid technology.