My Ex-boyfriend.

Over the summer of 2012, I started talking to this really sweet guy who went to my grade. He had dated two of my friends before. They all said he was a sweetheart. His name was Jason. But people called him JT. He said he thought I was pretty. I, of course, didn't believe him. But said thank you anyway. Then to be funny I said I thought he was pretty too. We started talking and after a day or two I started to gain feelings for him. He had already said he liked me. Then on Friday June 29 at 9:56 pm (Sad that I know the exact date and time by heart) he asked me out. I said yes and was super happy. He was a sweetheart like everyone had said. But he had his flaws. He was homophobic and racist. Unlike me, I had no problem with people who are lesbians/bisexual/gay. Or colored people. I had always just ended up agreeing with him so we didn't fight. We had said our I love yous. And I was a little scared to tell him, afraid he didn't feel the same way. But he said he loved me too. Then I had gone over to a friend of mines house, Jada. And we were talking about him almost the whole entire time. And then she had asked me if I could live without JT. I said no. Then she asked if I wanted him to kiss him the next time I saw him. I said not the very next time. But I do want to kiss him. Then she had twisted my words and told him I could live with out him. Then said I never wanted to kiss him. Outraged by this, I had gotten very upset. Especially because he believed Jada and not me. Being the stupid person I was, I broke up with him. He was someone who had cut himself and been depressed easily. He said he would kill himself. And that had really upset me. I was not worth someone taking their life. He didn't though. Then I had really started to miss him. I had cried myself to sleep every night. Tried so many ways to cope with missing him. I had really loved him. And to this day, still do. I had cut myself too. I had attempted suicide. I had stopped eating. I had done so many dumb things. And I regret everyone of them. I became addicted to cutting myself. I had lost friends. I cut myself off from the rest of the world. I felt like no one had cared for me. I would stay home and cry all day. I turned everything off. My phone, computer, iPod, everything. And I sat in my room. Crying. The rest of the summer. I guess he still has feelings for me. He had told my friends that. I was there when he said that. But now hes dating someone else. Her name's Alexis. She's pretty, skinny, popular, nice, and a cheerleader. She's absolutely perfect. And she's lucky. I had even told her, don't let him go. You'll never get over him. Everyday I go to school, I see him with her. Happy together. Kissing, hugging, and holding hands. And everyday I go home with tears in my eyes. He said that he still likes me to this day. But he has a girlfriend. And they aren't breaking up anytime soon. I don't want to be the reason they broke up. I won't be the reason. But, I guess I can pretend to be happy for them. I just really want to know one thing though. Did he ever really like me..? Let alone love?
HeyItsMe676 HeyItsMe676
13-15, F
Dec 5, 2012