Why Does He Hate Me?

He rolls his eyes when I talk to him. He always tells me I complain about everything even if it's not complaining. He gets mad when I'm sick (I get sick often). He tells me to shut up when he's mad. He tells me that he doesn't want to come home from work because I'm at home. He is always angry with me about money and lack of sex. He tells me he has no time for me. He doesn't talk to me at all about anything. We don't spend anytime alone together. He doesn't call me from work or ask me how my day is. He used to tell me how pretty I was but he doesn't do that anymore. He ignores me and when he isn't ignoring me he's disrespectful. 
notsoglad notsoglad
73 Responses Sep 6, 2010

your story sounds exactly like mine down to the t. he will stop what he is doing for anyone but me.he talks and laughs until its me and him,then he wont talk or let me talk.everything i say or do is stupid.he acts like he is tired to go to bed to get out the room with me.when i try to talk or tell him if he wants out it will be ok,im a big girl,wont have any trouble getting anyone else but after what i been threw with him i dont want another one.at least not anytime soon.i tell him im miserable and that he has to be and that i want to talk about how to do our things so we can split up or seperate for awhile.no one likes him.my family or friends.cause how he treats me.and makes up lies .everytime i tried to leave hed throw my stuff but then hide my keys and choke me and stuff then beg saying hed do better.he knows he mentally and emotionally abuses me.i just stopped lettin it get to me.i stopped crying.but words hurt cuz how good i been to him even when he so mean to me.its getting worse.he see,s things stop getting to me so he steps it up.now i really want out but i feel stuck.id like to just walk out.i think he is cheating to..i dont care.all i want is for him to man up and stop hurting me cause what he is doing and to make him feel better.he hates me and i done nothing but everything he wanted and ask.but his family says he is bypoler and skizch.he says he get help then never does,he says they aint nothing wrong with him.he even has to think he dresses better than me.and looks better like we in competition.i cant even explain it.but i dont feel like i love him anymore,i feel resentment.he takes my feelings for jokes and what i want.idk what to do anymore.but know you are not along and it isnt you its him.there problem

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I am homemaker... From morning to night work work . Cooking cleaning feeding grocery pick and drop.
When my husband *** to home keep on nagging ur useless ur not doing anything.never talk softly.same like you if I am sick he start shouting. I am so scared of him .
Lot of time thought come in mind enough get out of this hell... I am thinking abt my kids .
I m very emotional person.
Only thing I do sit alone and cry

My husband is the same! Except when I ask him if he hates me he says he doesn't. He says its my fault, I'm too emotional. I'm getting tested for hypothyroidism today and I'm hoping having that cured will help. It is hard because I feel my emotions are justified towards some of his actions.

I know the way you feel. My husband has said for a long time he is not happy. He feels I dont want to spend time with him. Ok first of all I work 50 hours a week and I have 2 kids. He isnt working right now. I come home from work and the house is a disaster. He does nonthing all day except watch tv and play video games. He excpects me to cook dinner on my days off, which I do, then he complains about the food I cook. He gets mad when I go to the gym or when I leave the house to buy grocerys. He thinks Im making excuses to leave the house just to get away from him but he wont go grocery shopping. When we talk about our relationship problems he does all the talking and wont let me say a thing. He has the nerve to say I dont put anything into this marriage. When I ask him what he puts in he just says "why should I , you dont so why should II ?" I love him but Im becoming more and more unhappy.

Hello, you're husband is not the only one to blame. we as women need to get pretty for our husbands, we need to motivate him, tell him how proud you are of him. when he gives you a gift dont tell him how much did it cost etc. but you accept it. when he gets home have dinner ready, look pretty, atleast have make up on and your hair up or something. Show him that you still want to look your best for him. for some reason he isnt telling you what he loves about you anymore, because of lack of communication.

OMG! Are you serious Martinez? Her husband is being a jerk & your solution for her is to "get pretty"??! WOW! NO! How do you know she's not already pretty or why should that even matter?! Have you heard of inner beauty? Being superficial & pretend that you're happy is NOT the way to go! If her husband gets angry when all she wants to do is talk, I'm sorry, but he's NOT worth dressing up for at all! LOL!!! She's wasting her time & you need learn that you don't need to "get pretty" to get respect!!! OMG!

you dont understand, neither him or her are doing thier part in the relationship.

Haha I refuse to get pretty for him. The ****** doesn't deserve it. He can go and get some 'pretty' elsewhere cos I don't even care.

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My husband and I have been together 5 years married for 2. I was on disability when we got married I lost disability and had to get a job since then he has been treating me with total disrespect and expects me to have house cleaned do chores etc plus work a 40 hour plus week job. His job leaves him home 4 days a week. Because it is shift work. He has 2 children that he takes off and takes money out of our account and goes to visit. They are in another state. He just says I bought plane tickets and nothing you can do about it.
Or take off spending hundreds on fishing trip every winter. I used to do Hospice but had to quit. He can't stand if I help other people. He calls me a slob but I'm the one who starts major cleaning events in the house. I am disabled and can no longer keep up with doing everything around here plus work 5 to 6 day a week. He has told me he hates me and he can't stand the sight of me. I compliment him and thank him for everything he does. I try to keep the peace. I am not a fighter. But now he says he is moving on and he has control over who comes on the property.
He is very rude mean hateful and disrespectful to me. He is nice to others but if he has a problem with others he attacks me over it. Like my daughter he attacked me over her for half hour when I got home from work and I said would you like to ask her she is in her room and he said no. I'm done with you, I'm moving on and I have control over who comes on this property.
He has a nice image too keep up with in public. He parks close so I have to park farther out. I physical limitations. When he leaves a vehicle for me to drive it is empty on gas. I take care of animals in the ice and snow.
I am trying to make plans to move on

I have 15 years total five of them married it hurts when I sit down on the couch next to him he gets up and moves away I hate this I still love him but I'm having the divorce papers drawn up and I'm going to give them to him I guess once he sees it real in his face I guess that will be the final straw to see what he really feels I do know this that when he does his thing on Fridays ( he's not a drinker but he has his vices ) but once he's feeling good I asked him why does he treat me and I hate it he says he knows and he hates it to and he doesn't know why he does it .so were does this leave me what the hell

i will be honest, sometimes its better to move on..why be with someone who doesnt value who you are? If he loved you, he wouldnt act that way..its either, he has hurt feelings and has so much hate for some reason and doesnt know how to get it out, and gets it out on you because he knows you will take it, because you love him. or he just doesnt want to be with you anymore..whatever the situation..God has the answer..and you cant blame Him for what is going on..you made your own choices without asking Him what He knew would be best for you. Pray tonight..ask Him for help..for mercy and for that love that you so much desire.

I completely understand this. I jave felt for 5 years (married 15) that my husband hates me. He often asks for a divorce, spends much too long at work, yells at me. The good we once had is gone & all I get is blame. I go to individual therapy bc he thinks he has nothing to work on or invested in this marriage. I feel I am falling out of love with him. We have two children.

My husband blames me for everything and refuses to go to any sort of counseling.
He used to be attacking his ex wife.
Misogynistic is a term someone sent to me and I researched it and unfortunately it suits my husband. We have been together 5 years and married 2. I can no longer take the mental verbal abuse. The tone and mannerisms from him towards me is just hateful. I do everything I can to be pleasant, I thank him for what he does and I compliment him etc. He is unresponsive and unappreciative. .. I am physically disabled but he holds me responsible to do all chores etc around here. Plus I work 5 to 6 days a week. I have given all that I can. He tells me he can't stand the sight of me.. He does what he wants but has rules that I am expected to follow or else
He was a very kind caring individual until we got married and I had to get a job. Then his focus turned from his ex onto me.
He says he is moving on. He calls me stupid and had no common sense.
A couple years ago he started a grass fire and it got out of control. We live out in country, fire got out of control he was consumed by smoke and stress passing out in the field. I had to call for fire dept and inform them of where he was. I could not get to him because my disability. He was hauled off in ambulance. He would have died. If not for me calling emergency. He says I did nothing to save him. Nothing at all. Our house would've been gone our whole farm and he would've been gone up in smoke.
So Ya. My husband hates me.
Why. I have no idea I've done nothing but support him and try to love him. Now I start over I guess.

Wow I thought I typed that it is exactly the same for me I wish it wasn't true that it could be fixed I love my husband so much and it hurts that he hates me

Wow get out now! Before your self respect gets any lower!

haha well i just bumped into a book on Smashwords about this, its called "**** you for making me love you".. LOL i think i should get it

I am at a point in my life where I don't know what is happening with my marriage...it's like a bad dream. My husband and I have been married 23 years and we have two beautiful daughters who are starting college. We are financially stable-I helped him start his business in the early 90s which is still going. The last 5 years or so have been very difficult. A lot of yelling, disrespect and throwing and breaking things on his part. And yes, I admit I have said and done things I should not have as well, usually in response to him which I know is not a decent excuse. He, however, takes things too far and drags up the past constantly during arguments. We have been to counseling several times but it ended with him stating that it was not what he expected...UM...IDK>! He recently turned 50, I am 48. I know that is a tough age for a man. Maybe he is having a midlife crisis. All I know is that he does not argue fairly and shuts me down when I try to speak. I have been called vile things--*****, c--t, old lady, boring, annoying--and I have also been told I should have been born with a d--k! Seriously it is so hurtful! I have told him many times how disrespectful it is but he still continues. He is killing me slowly. There is so much more that I could say....

I know how you feel . I am in a similar situation with my Husband of 20 years.

My husband hates me. At first he was sweet, always telling me how pretty I was. I never felt like he was cheating and I never felt unwanted. We've been together for 10 years and married for 7. We have three beautiful children. One is a newborn. In the past year he just changed completely. Now he hides everything. I found out (a year later) that he withdrew over $5k from his 401K and didn't tell me. Then when I confronted him he said it wasn't my business and he didn't have to tell me. He travels for his job about 3-4 days out of the week and when he's gone he doesn't answer my calls or texts. He has a per diem of $75 but I found out he was paying for dinners with his own money. Why would he do that unless someone was at dinner with him? I've caught him talking on the phone in the car and he hung up as soon as he saw me. He's started taking his phone in the bathroom with him. He's come home smelling like perfume. When I ask him about these things he yells and blames me and tells me he can't stand me and doesn't even want to come home. Now I don't feel so bad anymore though. Cause I hate him too...

My husband hates me..he blames me for holding him back, for having kids, for talking to the opposite sex, snoops in everything because I am an ex who're from my 20's so I am obviously one still in my 30's. He is quick to put me down, to leave, to say I want a divorce even though he instigated fights and makes me want to run. I still love him and keep trying...and he still verbally abuses me and... hates me. I just miscarried. I would like to think it wasn't because of the horrible fight we had around the time...I want to believe he can move on and try to change. I feel alone..and depressed and defeated.

My husband hates me. He doesn't make enough money (I don't care, my family has money and will always help us if need be). We have 2 kids. A three and a half year old and an eight month old. The eight month old is easy but the toddler is not. He is mean so her too. I guess I can be too when she pushed me so far. I think I love my husband but I am scared to get divorced and be a single mother of two. He mocks me. He lies and then accuses me of lying. I haven't lied. I hate me life right now.

I just saw this doing some Googling.
My husband is the same way. I love him to death, we have two kids and both work the same shift so when we see each other is at home in bed both tired. He tells me I'm a ***** and I'm a piece of **** and cals me names when. We fight he says I start all the fights (only sometimes) buts it's because he is disrespectful to me. He has cheated, he has hit and choked me. I've tried to get him help I love him and I want him to be the man I know he can but I have to cry myself to sleep just to get sleep. He ignores me and only wants to be on his phone or play the Xbox he doesn't see How bad he hurts me. He days it's my fault cause I'm a ***** and I complain all the time. The only time I get attention from him is when we fight.. and it's not even close to the attention I want or need. I feel so lonely.. he tells me to ef off if I don't feel like having sex he tells me it's my job to take care of the kids clean the house and have sex with him not to *****. I'm hurt and angry and I just don't know what to do anymore..
I just really needed to vent.
I'm Sorry he treats you that way honey.

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Hey i been married 2 years and in the first year of our marriage I found him going on dating site but he never showed no sign of not loving me he always called me his love then he started to go to the bathroom so often for 40 min I got suspicious so when he went to sleep I checked his phone and there was messages between him and another girl ;( he was sexting.... And he had 4 online dating profiles. I got really mad, yelled, hit him and when I found out he changed and he kept saying he did nothing wrong he never admitted to it or even said sorry he will never do it again... Ever since we get into I fight I mention it and I know i shouldn't but I'm hurt why would he do that and I am 19 years old I'm young and full of energy. He has hit me and choked me. He says he hates me and that we should take a break for a while and in the mean time we should I think about divorce. What? I know I been mentioning what he's done and he gets mad so he said he's tired of me mentioning in :( what do I do should I try to make it work even though he doesn't he said he wants to find someone else and he hates me so much no love for me at all. He changed his phone password and everything so I don't see what he's doing he said he's tired of me.

I am not married but am living with this man for over 8 years now. At first, it was great. But after just a few months, all his "truths" were no longer truths. He became physically and verbally abusive. I have had a broken lip, stitches in my head, black eyes and bruises. It has been over 2 years now and he has not hit me since the stitch situation. When he saw all the blood and thought I was going to die, it was a wake up call for him. However, he is very verbally and emotionally abusive to do this day. I would leave if I could. But my situation is I cannot just yet. But next month I should be able to. Did some planning ;) But what really did made up my mind about this was when he came home Christmas night and told me that he had bad intentions and came close to sleeping with a girl I royally hate that he thinks is hot. He spent all day with her. He said he didn't have sex with her. Said he kept hearing a voice telling him not to and go home. Point is, he wanted to do this though. I give him sex anytime he wants no matter how I feel. I try to keep it interesting. Hell, I even watch **** with him even though I don't like it, just to make him happy. And for him to do this on that day out of all days, well, that was over the top. Who is to say he won't go for it someday. I am gonna leave before he hurts me even more than he already has. I love him so much. I love his humor, the way he shows me affection when he wants some. We can't even talk anymore. He says I am always negative. Everyday. I wake up negative. I know that is not true. He calls me names all the time. I never call him names. He tells me to shut up all the time and not to speak ever unless it is to answer a question. I feel like we live in Saudi Arabia or something. Sorry, but I am a veteran and I always payed my bills and worked since I was 15. I am not going to be controlled by and idiot anymore. Since I been with him, I cannot hold a job, I have panic attacks, and we move every few months. Getting really old. Been in motels up until a month ago and finally got an apartment. But he hasnt paid the rent in a few weeks and spends it on drugs and booze. So sick of it. I want a normal life for me and my son. Enough is enough.

my husband calls me names too all the time and he calls me negative too it hurts so bad because he's done so many things to me . I don't know if he cheated on me physically but I found him on online profiles and texting other women. He says in annoying every time I say something like where are you going or who are you texting he says I'm annoying. A wife wants to know about her husband he's on his phone 24/7. Hmmm I love him so much even though he hurt me so many time and he hurts me everyday. He rather pick others over me. I tried leaving him but it's so hard. I don't work or go to school be hast we live far from everything and I don't have a car and he tells me I am going no where in my life. That's not love if you tell me. He said he hates me and he doesn't wanna look at me anymore. He said when he looks at me he gets annoyed and hates me more.

Sounds like my story.

I know this post is super old. I just found it doing some research on why my husband hates me.
He is mean to me when we are not even fighting. Yesterday I walked into a room (not knowing he had just cooked something for our son) and I said, "what's that smell?" I hear him say under his breath with a nasty look on his face, you. That hurt my feeling so bad. I said wow that was really mean. He said" ya well.....whatever shut up"

Today is Christmas even. I came back from the store. I was trying to show my 8 year old how to max the puppy food for our new puppy. my son plugged his ears while I was telling him. I told him taht was rude and not do to it. My husband tells him not to do that, it is disrespectful. SO I say, "wonder where he learned it from" and he says "Shut up" I said see..... and I said your so disrespectful to me and he says, "hard not to be". We have been together for 14 years. That hurt my feeling so bad I have been secretly crying all night. I have to do the "Santa thing" myself tonight as my husband went to bed early (in the spare room) He is so mean. I am so hurt and now here I am on Christmas Eve ....

Update: we have been separated for 8 months now. It feels so good to finally be able to breathe.

Just remember that people tend to lean on others for their own happiness and a lot of times this is why relationships fail. Rely on yourself for your own happiness and you'll see life in a whole new way. ThanKs for the ongoing support and good luck to you all.

I feel the same way about mine...but he tells me he loves me and then shows like he doesn't

you summed it up love. Lack of sex. You say you're married so why a lack of? That's part of a proper marriage. You say he doesn't comment how pretty you are but you haven't said ifyou even make an effort any more either! Flat out it sounds like maybe you once made an effort and now, comfortable in your marriage you don't make so much of one now. This is what so many women complain about but it is the same old song and dance isn't it? Make an effort and you will see the old him you use to see. Sounds like he'll be happy to see the old you. This has obviously been going on for sometime it sounds. I'm sure there is much more to this than you have posted.

Sex is not what marriage is all about nor is it physical looks. We all lose our looks and we all have periods when sex isn't possible. A good marriage is about committment, friendship, always being there for each other, and always putting the marriage above all else. It has worked for me and my husband. We've been married 34 years.

I have to disagree. My husband does me the same way. I still try daily to impress my husband. I remain invisible to him. I am thin and by no means unattractive. So what his problem is is himself. Not her. A lot of men just forget there are 2 people in a relationship and both have to make an effort or else it will fail.

I know I'm a lot late but no woman should be treated or allow herself to be treated in a horrible way. stand up and break the cycle. A man should ever break oR make you or your character EVER

Mine has been particularly "Dickish." I believe it's due to stress.... I am nobody's whipping post.

The reality is it's the same old song and dance. Whether your 2 yes into marriage or 22 yrs. The best advice........

Take care of yourself and your kids, physically, mentally, spiritually. STOP making your husband your sole focus. If you want to go back to school... Do it! .... if you want to start working so your able to fend for yourself..... Go make if happen. Yes it sucks, yes it's challenging, but the alternative is being single. Which is ok too if that's the choice you make.

The reality is all of our husbands (like ourselves) have baggage. We can either dwell on it or stop making it the focus. Yes he'll **** you off, but so will you **** him off... this is life. Move past it do what's right for you and your kids and if we are blessed maybe our husbands will John us when they're done pouting. If they don't? Well that's their loss and you are a happier stronger woman for not focusing solely on them. You also will teach your kids balance and focus when times are tough. I'm living my own dream so J know. With a blended family it's even more complicated, but I love the pain in the *** and I have my own baggage to work on so I cannot focus on his. (7yrs strong)

Good luck!

Thanks that hit me right!

I really hurt reading all this. I just left my husband we live separately because of physical,emotional, and verbal abuse. I knew it was time to go once i went to buy a weapon for him and my baby boy was getting in the middle of our fights at the age of 2 hes 4 and after a world tour last year i came home and moved out. Now he puts it all on me. H e wont move on from the past he thinks when im trying to help that i don't want him to do or to have anything. well after being married 6 years i need a new problem and he doesn't wanna move on or forgive me and since that is what was causing all the abuse i left. I was very scared to take care of myself but I'm happier.

BTW, sorry for the grammatical and punctuational errors in both of my posts. Its still pretty early and my coffee hasn't done the job yet. Happy Easter everyone. Christ is risen!

Lorris must be one drop dead gorgeous woman with a perfect saint for a man. Or maybe Lorris is a man. I can't imagine a woman responding to these women the way he or she is doing. You must really be living one h@ll of a perfect life. Or else denial may be in the mix as well. An no I am not in an abusive relationship, but I have been and I have a degree in Psychology. There is absolutely NO REASON for anyone...male or female to be abusive. The other person's looks, behavior, weight gain, nagging etc, don't NOT EVER justify abuse of any kind. If he/she is being abusive then they are the once with the problems, not the victim.

Lorris is most likely a 300 pound hairy balding troll who has nothing else to do with his twisted life but make people who feel bad feel even worse. Every day he is lifted out of his bed by crane and taken over to his computer station where he spends his time looking up comments on boards made by people seeking solace so that he can spew corrosive drivel at them.

I hope he gets well soon.

Been married only 2 years and i feel like ur telling my story.

Still here, still waiting and still promised change. Someone asked me what I like about him - these days there isn't much to like. He is now jobless due to an accident resulting in major surgery. He is fully recovered and fully unemployed. He makes no contribution financially, emotionally, or sexually. He just is.

You are writing my story, I have endured the same treatment for years, and finally I told him, how he verbally and emotionally abused me. That's it, I didn't call him any names etc. I just told him that. Then I went to see a therapist, bec this time I was ready to leave him. He has changed since then. Friends has noticed the change. I am writing because I feel that no one should have to go through the same treatment I went thru. Verbal and emotional abuse hurts the very core of your being, it reduces you far more than you can imagine. Get help quickly.

My husband is pushing me to the enge. he just lost his father a month ago and he is taking everything out on me. He is distant, mean, angry. He nit picks everything i do and is constantly telling me what I do worng. Last week he tolk me he doesnt love me anymore adn doesnt want to be with me. He wants to be alone adn that I make him misrebale. I want to believe that this is the grief talking and that he really doesnt feel that way, but I am hurting so bad that I dont want to live. Please help me!

I read your post as I was looking for other ppl in my situation. You are the only person he has to take his emotions out on, but that doesn't mean you should take it or deserve it. I'm in the same boat, my prince of 9yrs decided 2 yrs ago(while preg) to turn this other person, I always voice that its not ok to treat me this way or that way. Next step is counseling which sounds like where you guys should go as well. Lastly though it may seem like your world is falling apart, it may be a blessing in disguise. As long as you know you've tried.

Once my prince as well. I've been pretending to friends and family that it has been fine. He thinks everything is fine. Truth is, I am miserable. I just persevere and try to focus on other things. Counseling is a possibility if he gets a job. Best of luck to you.

Since I wrote you that reply, I googled "silent treatment" bc my hubby was going days without talking to me. I found this site that said the silent treatment was a form of abuse for the other person to gain control. I left the website up for him to read cause it was everything he did to me. And since he always calls me controling I wanted him to see my perspective. The next day the **** hit the fan and we had this huge blow up, he was livid I would call him abusive, on a short drive I cried and pleaded with him to just ******* talk to me instead of punishing me with the silent treatment. I told him the "D" word is not in my vocab and that we have been thru so much what could I have done that he shuts me out! In the end he told me I talk down to him, ( I've always talked down to him , it's hard not to, he's just so immature at times) so we agreed he would tell me when I was doing it. That lasted for about three weeks and now he is back to it. I did suggest counseling during our drive and he said, " I don't need some random person to fix my relationship" we'll if you won't do it or let someone on the outside looking in help... I guess we are ******.

I would like to start out by saying that NO ONE is perfect! I have read all these comments and after reading what other women in the world are going through I find that my marriage is not at all bad!!! Sometimes it does feel like it though. My Marriage has had its rough moments and there were times in my relationship that my husband has hit me before..... But I am going to tell you that when someone says that once a man hits you he will always hit you or that it will get worse, Thats not always true. I have been married for 4yrs and the 1st year of our marriage was great and then the 2nd year was full of him accusing me all the time of cheating on him!!! It got so old so finally I gave him a reason to accuse me because I did go out and cheat!! And yes I do regret what I did and when he gets angry at me he throws it in my face.... He has only hit me 3 times and that was into the 3rd year of our marriage and he promised me he would never do it again and he hasen't we are going into the 5th yr of our marriage! And even though we aruge alot I can say he does spoil me :) Any thing I want if he's got the money I can get it :) He doesnt call me fat even though I have gained a whole lot of weight and he doesnt call me ugly. So are yall wondering what I am on this post for?? Well My husband has a bad habbit of not caring about ANYTHING!!! He thinks he is always right and I'm always wrong...... He always talks bad about my family when hes mad but then again I talk bad about his also...... He tells me I am always bitching even though I am just telling him things out of love.....And he says my voice is annoying when I scream which it is annoying..... I don't know maybe our relationship is just like that..... People don't understand how we put up with eachother...... I said I guess it just works like that! Me and my husband have nothing in common AT ALL.... But they say opposites attract I guess they werent lying..... But a little word of advice If you are getting beaten my your spouse alone or in front of the children YOU SHOULD GET AWAY IT COULD MEAN YOU AND YOUR CHILDS LIFE......My husband may have hit me before but it was open handed and it dident even really hurt {not physically anyway} But if you are getting beaten and a gun put to your head or if he tells u hes going to kill seek help right away, you should never have to live in fear!!!!!

Why isn't your concern.
Your concern is that your spouse is emotionally abusive, and why doesn't really matter.

I think your first step should be to stop expecting him to meet your emotional needs.
He's not interested in doing that, so stop trying to get him to do it, because it just gives him an opportunity to hurt you more.
Get some friends-maybe a support group, or look on meetup.com in your town, see if there's social events to go to.
Please get therapy also.

i understand your situation i myself am in the same situation. my husband talks to me the same way. he deletes everything hids things on his computer and to beat it all i just bought him a tablet for xmas. i found a pic of another woman and her children on it along with 2 pics of **** stars. i know men are pigs but he just got that 2 weeks ago. im not sure what to tell you cause im stuck in the same place. i have fallen into a deep depression i just cant deal with the neglect or abuse anymore.

What is it you like about him?

I feel the same

I am 25 years old been married for 7 years, my husband is so mean to me and he has been our hole relationship he yells at me on a daily bases telling me I'm worthless, stupid and can't do anything right,he punches me in the back of the head, chokes me throws things at me like forks,cups,books, phones, the kids toys, he has held a gun to my head 6 times. He says its my fault he does what he does, if I just did Things right he wouldn't do it. I love him I've been with him so long but i dont want to do this anymore im sooo unhappy ive gained 20 pounds in the last 2 months because im just eating my emotions. we have 2 kids together and he does all this in front of them, the kids love there dad he's a great provider he makes sure they have everything they need. My oldest awalys says mom please don't divorce dad I want you guys to be together :(... even if I wanted to I couldn't. I dropped out of school when I was pregnant, when I was a baby I got lead poisoned and I have terrible learning disabilities I couldn't get a job to support my children and I, just think it would be selfish there quality of live would drop significantly. I just feel like life would be Sooo much better for everyone if I wasn't in it, I've thought about killing myself a lot but I just can't do it. I need help and I don't know we're to turn.

Go back to school dear! Get an education you can do it! When kids are at school slowly one or two days a week go to a community college and get an appointment with consuler and they will tell you what can you do, you are super young, don't believe that husband of yours, you can work doing anything washing dishes in a restaurant, helping another mom, cleaning homes, in grocery stores etc etc wake up! Be strong, your husband wants to brain wash you that you are not capable, its not true, even people with down syndrome work and go to school, why not you? I told you do it when kids are at school 3 hours and go back home and do your shores, get your power back! You will see!

Show your kids that is never to late, if you decide to go, get help from parents or family dear, protect your kids dont let this man destroy you, you can do it!!

I googled why does my husband hate me? I have been married 20 years now and I know I have enabled him. We have 5 children and I'm to him a bad parent and wife...I get cussed at if I talk back in an argument or I have no right to be mad at anything that happens because I don't work as hard as he does... I'm stuck and I know I'm not innocent all the time but my life consists of work, kids, home, and husband. I have no friends I don't do anything for myself accept for buying myself a frappe every now and then or maybe buying something to wear on clearance...and I still feel selfish doing that! He buys himself on regular Gin, and cigarettes . Which he works and its his money. I try to be perfect but I just can't seem to please him? I sound very confusing right now but it sure feels good to vent...I just don't know if its me? Should I just shut my mouth when he's angry and accept that I'm always wrong so that we could live in peace?

Well dear I learn to shut my mouth not because I am stupid, is because this man are really disabled they can't be normal they have so much problems mentally and I think of them as retarded poor them really, love yourself, dont feel guilty, he puts you down to have power on you, dont let him, he is disable remember? Always tell him to respect or he will get disrespect, show him that you are that queen, and you are!

They never get happy dear that is how ignorant and small they are, so take care of yourself, find something you like, dont wait for his approval yours is enough :)

Me too, me too, me too, me too, me too... and we have children. Keep truckin' on is all I can say.

Wow im shocked! This may sound mean and I do apologize but....you all think you are trapped. Oh, we have children, oh I depend on him to survive!!! Im a mother and I would leave a man in a heartbeat who abused me in front of my kids or was abusing drugs. You do more harm than good for the kids. But like many of you posted you choose to put up with it. Well, you have choices. He stays because you allow the abuse to happen. Its ok with you so therefore ill,keep hurting you. Common sense.

You have obviously never been in that situation. Don't judge someone just because you THINK you would do things differently

sometimes I tell my husband I want to go stay with my parents for a little time to think and take the baby with he. just temporary so we can both think about things. but everytime i mention this he threatens to take the baby and leave the country. or he says if you take the baby you will be dead in less than a week. double murder suicide he says. if he doesn't threaten with murdering me and the baby he says well it's all or nothing. if i'm going to leave i can never come back and i can't take our baby (6 months old) how do i get away temporarily without him doing something so drastic?

I think that has some legal grounds for you to sue him.
But can I ask why are you wanting to get away in the first place?
maybe he thinks you both can figure things out together and you need not to go away especially to your parents cause this is really hurting for a man's ego.

Yeah, it's easier just to stay, isn't it?

She should be worried about HIS ego? What about her self-esteem and safety. Would you want to be with someone who threatened to kill you and your children?

My dear all this threaten is just bull, if you want to go, dont even mention, prepare yourself and out the door! Get restraning order and child support, to all this ladies here if he hits you go and make a report to the police station so if you decide to go that same day a judge will give you the custody of your children, a judge will never leave them in abusive hands.

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My husband hates me... Period... We don't sleep in the same ROOM, let alone the same bed... I will try to kiss him and he will turn his head... I ask him to talk to me an he says he doesnt feel like it... I ask him to go places with me and he says he doesnt want to... He's told me that I'm an embarrassment... I do everything at home - yardwork, housework, you name it... I try to get his attention but I'm invisible to him... I put on a sexy lingerie outfit and 6 inch heels an he wouldn't even LOOK at me... he works and pays the bills, but I'm not allowed even a dime to get things I need - I have to ask my DAD to get my prescriptions... I had to go to the ER 2 weeks ago and I cried begging him to take me in front of out SON and he told me he just got off work and he didnt feel like taking me or dealing with me... My 75 yr old dad had to pick me up and take me. WHAT DID I DO TO MAKE HIM HATE ME SO MUCH??? Is it the weight I gained when I had our son??? WTF IS IT??? I am at wits end. I don't know what to do any more. I'm 27 years old. I've been married for nearly 8 years. And I'm stuck and see no way out. Why can't he just SEE me???

My mind was about to ask if ever you've gained weight and there i just read it...
Sorry to be honest but I want to tell you that your weight has a lot to do with the way he treats you. yah, it may sound shallow but for guys, their ideal wife starts off with good looks. The one they can show off with friends, the one they can be proud of like a 10-inch basketball trophy... I dont know why is it like that but that is their main concern. Well surely not all are like this but definitely most. My husband is. he is just ashamed to tell me that i got fat cause I was very hot by then...

Anyway, why not try to shed of the weight and get back in shape. If it doesn't do you good or if the treatment stays cruel then I suggest you file an appointment with a marriage counselor.

It's in his head. I'm sorry you can't slap his chin upside down then he'll attack you saying don't do that again. Then if you have kids, just be glad they have Daddy in the household and you can proceed to live your life as if you're single. My husband and I are co-living: sleep on the same bed, take care of eachother when necessary, but we do EVERYTHING else separately. Again, it's in his head. He'll notice you if you start to flirt with one of his friends... if he has any.

lorris, that's an awful thing to say. how low a person to judge their supposed 'loved one' on their weight! if he's not happy about her weight maybe he should leave instead of treating her badly. there's no excuse or reason to emotionally abuse someone.

Wow lorris, so if a woman gains weight, her partner has the right to be emotionally abusive toward her? You have very obviously never been in this type of relationship. I don't care if she gained 200 lbs and sat on her butt all day. There is NO reason for anyone to treat their partner this way. I'm glad for you that you've never experienced this type of relationship, but you should definitely not be dishing out "advice" on something you obviously know nothing about.

Guys lore is was telling the truth some man are jus like that " stupid" only see superficial, its us that let them insult us, what do I need a man that won't pay even my make up and treat me like ****? Is just a wast of time and years the years that won't come back and pass and if we dont do anything about it is only us the ones that will suffer and get old, we need to love ourselves more.

Why should SHE have to change because he is narrow minded and shallow? I know this is an old post but "Lorris" your post to "GeorgiaPeach27" just absolutely disgusted me. I had to read it twice because I thought the post was from a man. It is women like you who uphold this behavior in men. Love should not be based on physical appearance because if your looks are the reason he is treating someone badly, then it wasn't love to begin with. If a man loves you, then he loves you for you...not your physical appearance. People change..period. One day when you get older, your appearance too will change. How happy and understanding are you going to be when your man leaves you because you are older, or fatter etc...? Are you going to be giving the same advice when it's happening to you?

see. what you dont understand is they have to try to fix things cause they are married. not leave each other. so maybe she must work out just a little since she said so herself she's gone fat. I mean my husband was very frank with me. he is not all physical but he is concerned with my health as well. Both must do their part as wives and husbands. well, if her only part in the ill treatment is perhaps her weight, maybe then she can just try to . spend on carbs a little less. if she got treated better then so be it. if not then they can meet a counselor about their marriage - may it be the man is emotionally abusing etc... my point is - First do your part as a wife if that fails then its time to go.

Are you serious? Why are you staying with someone that doesn't pay anything for you? Is better to be alone don't you think? You have family ssupport take advantage of that lady, get your life together before your dad is gone, go to school, work, get a new man! This one is old and ruined, if you want to stay do the same, show him that you can be better than him.

I feel the same way with my husband. I don't even try (after 14 years of being together) to cuddle him, hug him or kiss him. If I do, I get rejected. Every blue moon...when I think things are going really good, i will inch near him and he will intently say" your crowding me" or oh no your not going to crowd me are you? all huffy. WHen I talk to him, he sighs like he can not stand any words that come out of my mouth. I quit working (real estate) just got too busy with two young boys and everything else to do the volume I was doing. So I talked to hima bout me taking some time off, he agreed but the very first day after I canceled some deals, he called me a mooch. I don't know what I have done to make him hate me but I do think it is connected to appearance. The better I look, the better he will treat me for the most part...but I can't win, when I was working, he would call me "Mrs. Thang" or Mrs Priss' Mrs. know it all...because I was making more then he was. If I make less, my job is considered pathetic, not as important as his. If I make more... Can't win. Truth is he does hate me. The worse I look and feel about myself, the worse he treats me. Best to join a gym, and put all your focus on you and your kids. That is what I am going to do.

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I sort of know what you are going through. My husband won't work, and he is mean to me and our 3 kids. If we ask him for help he starts to yell and cuss at us. As soon as the kids get home from school he starts to fuss. And he LOVES to go outside to the camper alone. I have to work part time and go to school full time, take the kids to all sport practices, homework, etc. When I even mention the word job, he gets offensive, starts screaming and cussing and then blames it on me why we are having a difficult time. I love him, but I find myself looking at other men hoping that one would might want and love me. I know if we divorce I will be alone forever because women are tainted once they have children. I have mentioned for him to maybe leave but so much for that. I am lonely just like you.I'm clueless on what to do.

What about men? Men are tainted when they have kids too. It's a matter of finding a man who also has kids and will take you. If the man has no kids, and is FAMILIAR with kids, then he's the Unicorn. Grab him!

The key to a happy marriage is Cheat! You never know what you have at home unless you venture out to the unknown

Can you believe this is still going on? I am still with him. These past two years have been the worst. So much has happened that forces me to remain with him. I literally am stuck. The hate I his eyes when he speaks to me is the worst part. He is so disgusted with me. He is projecting his stress and ****** situation onto me in front of our children. My anxiety just cripples me for that moment when im begging him to stop and he just keeps going with the insults. All while denying it all. He clenches his teeth, hands, and his body gets extremely tense. Sometimes, he'll stomp his legs and foot. One time, he was screaming so close to my face that he was spitting in me. We were in the middle of the street. He was upset because I didn't like a house we looked at to rent (wasnt safe for the kids) and because he was annoyed with looking (he looked at 3 other houses) he got aggrevated, stressed out and started an argument. Things got heated and he told me I was a ***** then said "shut up!" I had enough so I slapped him. Enraged, he got out the car and took off on foot. I followed, got him to slow down. That's when he screamed in my face that he hated me. That was the first time (but not the last since then) that he has said that to me. His face was beet red, he was sweating, so angry. he had his fists and teeth clenched - he looked like a monster. I can honestly tell you that's the only time I've been scared of him. Since then, when he gets mad at me, I get anxiety attacks when he's walking away. Usually in front of the kids. This marriage is starting to affect my mental health. I think I need help.

You need help hun. Go get some.

As your for your husband, he does have to get some help too. i think he needs anger management. But can you trace as to why is he like this? I mean when did it really start? have you been a nagger too? is there anything that could have sparked this hate feeling of his?

my goodness lorris, not only do you question the womans weight, you ask if she's been a nagger! How does any weight gain or nagging reasonably justify verbal & emotional abuse????????

How is she supposed to "trace" what is causing him to act this way? Most abusers just are like that and usually from deep rooted issues from childhood. Nothing can justify being treated this way. Emotional abuse may not leave bruises, but it leaves scars deep in your very soul.

Lorries is young and naive. He turned abusive right after we got married. He never showed his true colors before then probably because he knew I wouldn't stick around. I'm still here with him. Still
Fighting for something, anything. IDK

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Please remember that he has a problem. In my experience these people often have a problem with themselves and it manifests outward into a problem with someone else. Don't let him have the satisfaction of seeing you cry or it upset you. He does this to control you. Just don't react and go into another room. Hugs... Try to work it out, but in the end take care of yourself.

My heart goes out to all you women. I am in the same situation too. People used to ask how can you stay in the marriage. So I put a percentage to it. 30% of the time was bad, of that 10% was hell!! But 70% of the time was ok. So I stayed committed to our marriage and family, 33 years. I was young, pretty and believed in myself and knew I wasn't all the things our husbands accuse us of being. I realized he had a problem (mentally) and I survived over the years by doing things to help me thru the stress of our marriage. It has not been easy. He told me I was a bad mother too. Do your best to protect your children. God knows the truth. Ladies be Strong, be Smart and be very Careful. I'm so sad & sorry, but it doesn't get better or easier with time :(

Should we keep bothering? Is it really worth it?

I have been reading your comments and i feel it all. I have been married for 2 and 1/2 years and latley my husband tells me i am petty and childish, becuz he is 10 years older than me. He tells me all i do is complain and get on his nerves. i bust my *** as a server for a little bit of money but anytime he wants or needs anything i give it to him. But i cant even get 20 dollars to get my toes done. Dont get me wrong he is a good man for the most part, but i thought a husband was supposed to love and cherish his wife not talk down to her and make her feel like ****. that is what i feel like. i moved away from everything i know for this man, stayed by his side while he did time and everything i do is never good enough. we have a 18 month old son together and i dont want my child to grow up without a dad but i think its time to get moving. i did research and found that you should not move out of the house so this make things a lot harder. I love him so much but i jst dont feel the love from him anynmore

My husband and I have been together for 13 years. We have had some hard times along the way but he was always there for me and there to comfort me. We started our own business about 3 years ago and I quit my job at a very good Physicians office so that I could help make our business succeed and to be able to be flexible with my hours since we have 4 kids. Our business has done very well over the past 3 years. We ran it out of our home for 2 years and then found a building that we could store everything in on a very busy highway. We were very excited that our business was starting to take off. We hired one of his friends in July 2011 who used to be on drugs really bad but after talking with my husband, my husband stated that he had changed and was no longer doing those things. I believed him and we hired this person who said over and over again that he respected the business that we worked so hard on for the last 3 years of our life. My husband would then start spending all of his time at our new building with this "friend" of his. He would never come home and then my kids finally stopped asking if their daddy was coming home. We then found out near Christmas of 2011 that he had been doing Crystal meth and was addicted. All of our money was going toward that but when I would ask him about it, he would say that he spent it on something for the business. We started going to couseling and he seemed to really change for a little while. During this time, we got behind on our house payment because there was never enough money in the account to pay it since he was taking most of it out. We were then told that we had to move out or get our payment caught up. Since we found that out, he would not leave for work until after noon and then complain that he was never off from work by 5. I have tried to get him to do the right thing but I don't know what else to do. When we could not get our payments on our house caught up, we moved into our building. We only have 2 toilets in here and no shower at all. I have to drive to my parents house every day to take a shower and bathe my kids, wash our clothes, etc. He stays up all night and then won't go to work until very late the next day. He is ruining our business and in this type of business, I can't do everything. He won't take any responsibility for anything. I get cussed out at least once a day because he doesn't do his job. I am so outdone with this whole situation. When we moved the stuff out of our house, he didn't even help with 95% of it. He kept telling everyone that I was making him work which is a complete lie. When my cell phone is dead and I ask to use his, he has to mess with it for 5-10 minutes, I guess he's deleting web history and telephone numbers, and then he will let me use it. He says that he can't stand to be around me because I accuse him of everything. I try and talk to him but he butts in on me and won't listen. When I tell him that it bothers me a lot that he stays up all night and never comes to bed with me, he says that he can do whatever he wants because he is a grown man. I am at my whits end. I have 4 kids and this is my only means of income. I have to do everything for my children while he sits back and watches and doesn't offer to help. He tells me that it is my fault about being kicked out of the house, money problems, kids being loud, his past addiction to meth, etc. He blames me for everything. I have tried everything I know to do to keep this marriage from failing but I can't. I don't say anything to him a lot of times because he is very disrespectful to me if I do or he won't listen at all. His tone is very hateful towards me even if I don't say anything out of the way. I have tried talking to him but when I do he gets very angry and raged and tells me to leave him the **** alone. I don't know what to do. We are living here and I can't afford to leave but I honestly think that I will go insane if I stay here for one more day.

I know in your heart that all he accuses you of is not true! Having an addiction makes a bad situation so much worse. He will do and say anything to justify his bad habit. If he won't get into rehab then protect yourself and the kids. Seek help from professionals, family, friends, support groups, church....Get a plan and take action. Good Luck!

God I'm glad it's not just me! I think maybe time apart is always best I'm about to try this for myself I'm going to stay at my mothers with out 10month old son she only lives 5 houses up but I'm not going to make any effort to contact him he knows where we will be and maybe not having me there might make him think twice either that or if nothing changes it will be a permanent move

i thought i was the only one experiencing this kind of situation but after reading all these posts , i realized i was not the only one.my story in a few words, i am the only one working and bringing money to the family, i do all the housekeeping, shopping and baby sitting. after my husband got fired, he refuses to do anything at all. although i am tired at the end of the day i still ask for his hug and kiss, but i get rejection instead. whatever i do is wrong for him. of course he does not do anything at all besides watching tv. but i cannot understand what i do wrong...

That was perfect. I feel the same way and it will be one day at a time. <br />
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"my time, my kids, my dreams, my hope, my job, my home, my car, my feelings"<br />
Thank u

as the other comment states you google i think my husband hates me and you find your not alone. i wasnt sure i should feel relieved or sad. hearing many women speak of the cruelty they experience in the hands and actions of there so called loving spouse. since when do we except this behavior. allow ourselves to think we some how are the reason for their anger and resentment and feel that if we just google the question somehow we can find the answer we need to save our marriages. if we can just figure out what were doing wrong and how to help them we can hold on to the man we have spent so much time, tears and heartfelt conversations with. somehow he will come to see the beauty of my soul and this undying love and dedication i have for him. he will change and HE will be happy again and HE will not hate me. as a women of many abusive relationships including the one im currently deciding im in. im now convinced after reading many pleas from women just like me that my husband doesnt hate me, he hates himself. i suggest for many of us in this situation to really look deep into your situation and finally believe in your inner voice, you know the one you hear every time your having a conversation with your husband about something you have a strong opinion about,to only have a pleasant start turn into its all your fault, suddenly he goes from you can tell me anything to your stupid to think that way. or the time you had to drop what you were doing to help a friend to only come home to where the hell have you been. he seemed to understand as you kissed him goodbye? thank you to all these brave women whom took the time to share there story and there pain. each time i had to hear the words HIM,SAD,HURT,HIM,MEAN,ANGRY,HIM, and my famous sentence, What did i do to make you so mad? Finally i no longer search for that answer thanks to all of you after tonight my famous sentence will be my time, my kids, my dreams, my hope, my job, my home, my car, my feelings are important and i deserve to be healthy,happy and at peace for i am amazing,kind,SMART,attractive,incredibly strong and tired of being somebody elses punching bag. I refuse to allow my light to be blown out in order for his to never even ignite. misery loves company. if a man like our husband was married to our daughters would we find away to make him change or show up with a 12 gauge? well i think you know my answer. again thank you all for your comments it changed my life. tomorrow morning his *** is going to his mothers house, hotel, friends i dont care one things for certain its not going to be here. bless you all in your journey and may you all find that place that makes YOU happy.

So I googled "My husband hates me" and this showed up. <br />
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I don't understand, I am so confused. If I were the most perfect woman on earth and never complained about anything, then I guess I would be happy. Here's the problem: I am not! My husband says he loves me, adores me, and I am the center of his universe. However, we have an issue, and he happens to offend me... God forbid I let him know... because, hell breaks loose. I don't get it... How can someone tell you that they love you this much, and not care if they hurt you, if you are falling apart.... I just do not get it... He has way too much power over me. He knows that he can apologize at any time, and I will always forgive him.... And he doesn't care... I cant figure out if it is his pride, or he truly hates me.... I try so hard to keep him happy, and when I stand up for myself then, that means I am not trying...<br />
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Today I tried to speak to him... his reaction to everything was.. uhuh, ok... I let him know how much that hurts me... nothing changed. I can let him know that he is hurting me... and he doesn't care. This is coming from the man that loves me more than anything! How does that work... So I told him, "if this is the kind of respect I am going to receive for the next 10, 15 years of my life, then this ends now" Well guess what he responded... "OK" I tell him, "well then get your stuff and leave now"... "After I take a nap" I have no value here.... I finally officially kicked him out a few hours later. Then my friend started to question wether I handled things correctly... So I began to doubt myself. I call him to ask him if he thinks that I did the right thing.. he says yes, and that he doesnt want to talk to me... that he is going to get a lawyer to divorce me and hopefully he will never need to speak to me again. Mind you, a few days ago he told me that he adored me... Im aching... it hurts.

I am so sorry!!! and like the first reply I to can sympathize, I lived for 5 years of my 6 year marriage having my husband telling me how awful I was, telling me I was stupid ( I can't find a job I enjoy and bounce around alot, that's made me stupid) he became physically violent in 2010 and it got worse in 2011 he never was violent in front of the kids but I think they knew! All the advise I got said to leave him that he was no good, but they didn't understand I loved him and all his life people gave up on him, he had a horrible child hood eventually being given up to the state at 14 he was in the youth authority and at 17 went to prison. I couldn't give up! I found out about Aug 2010 that my husband was hooked on Meth, we had just purchased our first home and I thought how can I survive this I talked to family members they told me to get out, so on a last resort I goggled a chat room and there was a woman there she had been in a similar situation we talked eventually exchanging phone #'s she helped me because I wanted to help him. she took me through steps to make life easier on me, and my kids. my husband is clean it will be 2 years in october 2012. I guess I'm telling you this to make you realize that you aren't alone and because the way you are describing things sounds alot like what I was going through, expand your thinking ask yourself if this is possible, because I never thought it was my husband had 2 seasonal jobs went to work every day (I checked his pay stub) he still has those jobs, he was a "working addict" he was not what you regularly see, so don't turn a blind eye it's everywhere!!! I support your effort to keep your family together but be smart and careful. keep your eyes open, try not to show any emotion when he is so mean they feed on it. good luck!!!! you and your children are in my prayers!!!!

My husband and I have been married five months. One hour he loves me to the depths of his soul.... Then a switch flips and he hates me. He won't look at me or touch me. Everything is "fine." the rejection hurts unbearably. Then the switch flips again and he loves me.... I am the sweetest most beautiful lady EVER. I'm starting to believe the positive things less, unfortunately, because I know that very soon he will change his mind and contradict all the wonderful things he said. I've never dealt with this before. I am confused and very hurt, and as a newlywed I'm scared.

That sounds so draining. Unfortunately, it is what I am dealing with as well. What seems like a small error (or may not even seem like an error to ME at all) on my part can sometimes result in him shutting me out and being mean. And there is nothing I can say to flip the switch for him to be okay again with me. Even when I don't think it's my fault or when I think it's clearly his fault in his eyes it's always my fault. Then time will pass and he'll switch to pleasant mode. It's heartbreaking, particularly as a newlywed (for me the episodes started on day 6 of our honeymoon, didn't even take a week before he told me how awful I am and how he shouldn't have married me--honestly, I'm actually pretty great though). Sometimes I feel like things are improving and that I have to give my marriage my all and divorce is not an option, then it's like a whole new heart wrenching nightmare and I wonder what I've gotten myself into with this marriage. I pray peace comes to both your life and marriage as well as mine.

I stay at home with my 3 kids and my husbands two kids clean the house do everything he doesnt appriate anything im wanting to go back to school thhis summer for nursing but wanting to change my majior to medical asst. Instead. Weve been married for a year now when we got married i was pregnant with our daughter after we got married i found out he was looking at **** at work hes a driver and he lied but i had proof so he told me he was jacking off cuz i wasnt giving him enough sex i also found on his phone that he was possabley on a dating website and found pictures kn his work phone of himself and he never sent them to me he said they were for me anyone else have tji probkem and find out their cheating? We fight about the kids i feel like he hates me dont have the same parenting skills he use to be really inlove with me not no more says all relationships get like this he loves the tv smoking weed and eating i feel sometimes he smokes weed to deal with me i love him but im hurting he does not care about me feelings hardley ever shows me affection i hate him for this and im the one always trying to have sex he hardley touches me or looks at me ive been divorced once wont do it again hes been married two times i finally thought i found the right man he wont bealright if hes cheating. I hate men sometimes im 27 hees 36 he complains about me not doing dinner or dishes but i do them sometimes he loves cooking he knew i didnt cook i told him but ive been watching him and cooking alot more always feeding the kids before he gets home most nites im tired and i asked him the other night are u in love with me or do u just love me his answer i love you what the hell is that suspose to mean i really dont think he does sk much has changed and i dont know why please help!!!

I stay at home with my 3 kids and my husbands two kids clean the house do everything he doesnt appriate anything im wanting to go back to school thhis summer for nursing but wanting to change my majior to medical asst. Instead. Weve been married for a year now when we got married i was pregnant with our daughter after we got married i found out he was looking at **** at work hes a driver and he lied but i had proof so he told me he was jacking off cuz i wasnt giving him enough sex i also found on his phone that he was possabley on a dating website and found pictures kn his work phone of himself and he never sent them to me he said they were for me anyone else have tji probkem a

I have THE BEST TIP for a successful relationship...Make sure they love you MORE than you love them. Be kind with their hearts and treat them well...= perfect relationship. <br />
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If you can't be with the one you love...love the one you're with!!! *Hugs*

If you want a HAPPY, STRESS-LESS RELATIONSHIP...make sure he loves you more than you love him. Trust me. This works. <3

my husband watches our 7month old when i go to college( at night). tonight he drank while watching him and he fell off the bed and got hurt after i told him not to leave him alone on the bed(this was the second time. he got so angry that i was upset about it. he turned it around to make me feel like i was at fault. we fight alot about his drinking and in the end i am the one feeling worhtless. i stay at home with our little one and go to college twice a week. he calls me a *****,lazy fat *****, dumb *** etc. we have been married 5 years and together 7, in that time 5 years i have work, as a waitress and actress, but yes still work, it was never good enough, he wanted me to study and get better work, so we moved to the uk, where i then fell pregnant and could not find work, our son is now 7 months and we decide not to send him to nursery as it is too expensive i would stay home and study in this time. now i go to college, but its still not good enough, i do what he asks but then turns around and makes me feel like a failure. he told me i am a horrible mother, that was like a knife in the heart as i love my son and would do anything for him. i dont know what to do anymore, i am a shell of the person i use to be, i am depressed and unhappy. i dont want to leave him as i do love him and my son needs his daddy, he is very good with him except for the drinking. i am hopeless and clueless. i pray that God will give me a sign.

We have been living together for a few years and recently got married. Nothing has changed except that we re married. Soon after my wedding like 2 months after my dad was diagnosed with a life threatening brain tumour. We now live at my parents home so he can go and help my brother with the business and so that I can help my parents at home while studying. <br />
We were supposed to buy a home...we can't now.<br />
we were supposed to go on a honeymoon... we can't now. <br />
I do everything i can to make him feel good about himself by constantly complimenting him and making him special dinners every night... only thing is my family is always around. Sex is ok... we can't really get turned on in my parents house...even though it is a big home and we live in the ba<x>sement. <br />
he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life.. his mom constantly stresses him out and his family doesn't get him.. they re too old fashioned and his mom is reallllllly controlling. he can't get peace when he goes to his house and when he's with me.. i think it reminds him that I'm the reason his life sucks right now. <br />
for years i lived with him and ran his families business. I worked my *** off for them to help them be successful. they always want me to run it for them.. which is unfair. i don't make any money and i spend morning till....well...morning running their restaurant. since the wedding i haven't gone back... because i now have to help my family. <br />
every week i surprise him with gifts. he hasn't done any of that for me ever. <br />
i feel like we weren't ready to be married... maybe... but we lived together like we were married so i don't know... he just hates his life because he's not a rockstar.. or a provider yet... and i get he resents me for it because i had to come into his life. when he's away from me with his friends.. he forgets me and my existence. never calls. it sucks.. when someone wants to be away from u so much and its because of our surroundings... not us. ugh.. i don't even know how to explain my situation right now... its so hard to be married and going through all this... i have to take care of everyone... but not one is taking care of me.. not even me... i am neglecting myself for my man.. and its wrong i need to stop and just do me... he will appreciate me then i guess?

I've got that same problem. I am a football pla<x>yer. I produce eggs for a living.

How beautiful our relationship would grow...if our husbands were non-egoistic and have normal emotions like us.We love thm a lot...no moment can we live without them....but they reduce us to menial creatures. I wish they understand the pain. But whatever, so far....its just a myth.

Read the book "The Five Love Langueges" (I think the quize is posted online someplace too, good way to start). I did and it really helped show me that while I thought I was being a great wife by always doing so much for him that was not what he wanted and grew upset. I was a good wife but he felt like I hated him because I never showed him love how HE needed to feel loved. Every guy is dif. and what my husband really NEEDED and wanted was not what I ever would have thought of on my own. He also now knows what I need to feel loved and mostly shows me love now. It is a good book, a little old school, but worth it!

ME TOO...I feel ya...I've prayed and prayed and it's constant badgering and belittling....cursing, screaming, yelling.....God help me.

WOW, Here I thought I was the only one in the world that thought my husband hates me> Boy I was wrong. Mine loves to ignore me. Nothing I say is important enough to listen to. Sex may be 4 times a year. He loves to sneak and talk to others online. Nothing I say or do is good enough. He doesnt verbally abuse me but his eyes say it all. Yes you are right may be we should leave that would be the easy way out. I have alot of time invested in my marriage. I want to fix it but I don't know how. I want to be desirable to him again. This is a great avenue for me to vent my frustration! Thanks for listening all my cyber sister out there in the same boat as me! God Bless all of you!

What a horrible situation. Why are u staying with this man?? Clearly he doesn't live or respect you?? U sound like a door mat!! And if ur willing 2 put up wit his ceap then u deserve what u get. Sorry 4 being so blunt!!! But truth hurts!!

Come to me sweet heart.

I am in the same boat. My husband seems so annoyed by everything I do. I get told to "shut the f*!@# up", he has a list a mile long of why I am a horrible person. I stay home with the kids, keep the house, do all the book work for our business, but it's never enough. He is constantly flirting with other women online and in person. I have had it. I am not giving him one more year of my life to be treated like this. I have tried to work it out but it's only getting worse. He has a right to hate me, it's a free country. Also, I have a right to be respected and treated with love. I am going to exercise my right to walk out!

Good for you! I wish I was so strong. I am experiencing much of the same. Stay-home mom to 2 kids, house keeper, carpool, bill-payer, the whole 9 yards. Sure, sometimes I can be a little lax on housekeeping, but never to the point of unhealthy. But for that, I am lazy, fat, ungreatful, the biggest mistake of his life, and the reason he's stuck in a rut. We own our home, have very little debt, our bills are payed on time, and we own or 2 vehicles with no payments. But none of that is good enough. He always wants immaculate and new, and blames my not having an income for not having the lifehe desires. He comes home from work and immediately goes into his "office" (gameroom) and stays there usually until just before the kids go to bed. Then he tells everyone I am a horrible wife and a bad mom because I get frustrated from no help. I want to leave, but after being in an abusive relationship before this, and now what he's saying, I have trouble carrying it out. Good luck to you! I wish you the very best! Stay strong!

I'm so sorry. I am in the same situation. We were very much in love, have been together for over five years, but last year when a serious grievance came into our life things went downhill. I google searched 'my husband hates me' tonight and your post came up. <br />
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no matter who is wrong in a relationship, it sucks to feel like this. The man I am with recognizes we are bad because of bad circumstance, but that is not stopping things from getting worse. We were 19 when we met. I was young, and beautiful. Now I am 24, alone and a very sad woman...and I hope you don't fall into my shoes. <br />
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As much as you love him, and as hard as it is, time is probably the best solution. If you have anywhere in the world you can go to relax and find those great things about yourself you know you have, please do. <br />
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Love is amazing, but it can turn before you see it. I am sorry you are in that spot and i wish you all the best.

I'm also in the same situation.
everything is fine but all of sudden a massive situation take place for know reason, and i get told tht i'm a worst person, he hates the way I'm, even he hates the thing which i like.