What To Do ?

 think my husband hates me. i am a housewive but i make pretty good money online n get umenployment  to help my husband w bills. i cook and wash n clean my house. i try to make my husband happy, but when he gets home ge leaved his dirty clothes everywhere, eats and just watch t.v. when i try talking to him he always has something negative to say, if i say its white he says its black(axample) seems like were always clashing but its always him to say something bad. sotimes i feel like leaving but i dont want to go to my dad so he can see that im unhappy. dont get me wrong i try talking to my husband and i ask whats the problem but it seems like i just annoy him. when he go to the stores he always leaves me behind,  he doesnt help me w the baby, doesnt clean after himself. i put up w everything but i dont c a part of him trying. he goes to sleep early so we havent had sex n when i try to wake him he says hes tired . i do this for him n really try my best on looking ggood during sex for him even tho weve bn together for 4 years and i have had about 5 orga5m5.  now we dont have sex, rarely talk , always fight i just dont know what to do.  when i shower he takes advantage to go online and watch dirty sites. so we argue about that. sometimes i think he just wants different woman. the weekends we have together i feel like were so apart:( like today his  in the living room and im in the room> what am i doing wrong? 
Mylil01 Mylil01
22-25, F
2 Responses May 15, 2011

dun let tat moment happen .... u need him and blv me he needs u .... men always try to be macho .... blv me we men are nt too good in pullin that off. if u let the silence creep in between u and him .... its gonna be fatal . surprise him and u must know wat he njoys the most . give him happiness and make him feel at home. he may not be able do those things tat he used to do wen he used stay alone ... make his present home an accessible area to practise watever he wants and u be a part of it

Hi Mylil01<br />
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. If anything, I think you are trying too hard to please him and are being taken advantage of. I have learned that as women, we think that WE are doing something wrong, when that's not always the case. Sometimes the guy is just a jerk, plain and simple. If you ask him a question and he always has something negative to say, how is that your fault? I think that is one of the hardest things to learn in relationships, as much as they try to blame you for their anger, annoyance, etc, it is not always your fault. As women, we want to just have them open up and say "I had a bad day, I don't mean to take it out on you. I'm sorry. I just need to have some alone time, don't take it personally." They are the complete opposite and are pissed about whatever they are pissed about and when we keep asking them what is wrong, why are you mad, they are not capable of putting their emotions into words. That's one reason why I think women are way smarter than men are, but that's a different story : )<br />
As hard as it is, if you ask him a normal question and he lashes out for no reason, be calm and just leave the room. I always try to remind myself to "be the bigger person, be the adult because he is acting like a two year old". As good as it feels to lash back, it's just going to start a big fight and things will escalate. Just calmly walk out of the room and watch tv or go for a drive or something. Once he sees that you are not going to take the bait for a fight, he has nothing and you have regained your power. <br />
About not wanting to go to your dad's because you don't want him to see you unhappy....I don't know your family, but I know my dad would be hurt if he knew I was in a bad place and didn't go to him for help. If you and your dad have a good loving relationship, I think he would rather know and help you. Remember, you have done nothing wrong. And maybe, even if you just go stay with your dad for a few days and get some time apart, he can think about the relationship and you will be able to, also. Maybe he will realize how much you do for him and see things differently. Maybe you will realize that you are happier by yourself with the support of your family and you don't need all of the arguments and sadness from your relationship with him.<br />
Good luck.