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Ready To Leave This Loveless "marriage"........

We have been married 4 years.
We met when I was in a crisis with my family and he took me in, in my time of need.
He was actually also in a crisis with a failed relationship.
The warning signs were there but I felt I desperately needed someone to care for me.
We married a year later and now I am afraid I am trapped in a loveless marriage.

I work hard, on nightshifts, have a small child and he acts as if I am at a nightclub all night. I think he is jealous, he looks thru my purse everyday like he will find something incriminating. I have never gave him a reason to think I would cheat. I have NO Friends!
He complains about almost everything I do, like saying that I don't clean (which is untrue) and have refused to get a job in over a year.
I am also a artist and am driven and was when we met, he seems to hate my drive to succeed. He says "it's always about you, isn't it!".

The truth is , he is addicted to playing video games and has no motivation to do anything else.

He is not affectionate towards me, does not give gifts and makes no attempts to be romantic.
He has a sexual dysfunction and will not get medical attention.

When he gets mad he calls me ugly names like B---- and refers to me like I am a loose woman.

He uses his physical size to bully me around, shoving and pushing.

I constantly try to plead that I am unhappy and he acts as if he does not care how I feel.

If it were not for my belief in a higher power I would be very lost. I hate I had such a beautiful child stuck in the middle of this.
I think he believes I won't leave him because of how helpless I was when we met , but I really want to.

I am stronger than he thinks.





SisC SisC 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 1, 2012

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Ok...it is not getting better. He has a job now and puts on this act like i'm supposed to rollout the red carpet when he comes home. I can't even get him to empty the garbage consistanty. Today we had a fight and he spit in my face. Now, I am quietly panicking because if I don't do something, I will snap and physically hurt him. I am not hopeless, I just don't know what to do with the kids, I need a spiritual intervention. Anyone out there, please pray for me. Oh, and I have remained faithful......

Wow!!<br />
<br />
It is 3 months later and nothing has changed!!<br />
<br />
Oh yea, something has, I am pregnant and I work day shift.<br />
<br />
His behavior only worsens. The more I explain how I am feeling and what I need from <br />
<br />
him, the more he ignores it and remains the same.<br />
<br />
If I leave, it will really alter my sad lifestyle. Since I have no friends, I have no one <br />
<br />
babysit. He is a babysitter and financial adviser (tryna make fun of this horrible <br />
<br />
situation). The only thing I can think of to give a woman a new start is a battered <br />
<br />
womans shelter but you have to have a case against the guy you are trying to get <br />
<br />
away from. Unfortunately there is no charge of being a awful husband. <br />
<br />
But if someone out there can tell me psychologically, why does he want to break me?<br />
<br />
Maybe I can counteract that with something that will snap him out of this. Does it <br />
<br />
sound like depression? Does depression last for years??

Hey run do not walk to your nearest exit. These behaviors will not improve, they will only get worse. It does not sound like he has caused you to lose faith in yourself yet,,,but he will, He will not stop until he does.

I appreciate that. I just don't have a support system.