Post

My Husband Truly Hates Me

I really don't even know where to begin. I started dating my husband because i truly felt that God sent him to me. we were the same religion, worked at the same place, liked the same things, and were both looking for "the one". i feel that about a year into the relationship, the real him came out. a completely different person than i thought i knew. I just can't seem to do anything right at all according to him. he even tells me that my asthma is "in my head" when i wake us both up wheezing and cannot breathe. when i fell and broke my foot chasing our dog, he screamed at me because i didn't wear the right shoes and that it was my own fault - wouldn't even take me to the hospital...my little sister had to come pick me up. he screams at me if we have a difference in opinion as well, and tells me that i'm a stupid ****, or that i'm ignorant. he has a daughter whom i absolutely love and adore like my own (i cannot have children). i have known her since she was 6 months old, when we started dating. we have shared parenting, and when she is here, i am the primary care taker (which i don't mind because i love her), but he just seems so removed from our lives. all he wants to do is play that stupid xbox and drink beer. (but that is a whole other issue in itself). Like last weekend, I wanted him to go with me to pick something up from the store and he didn't want to go, and i practically had to make a bargain with him...well he was instantly in a bad mood as soon as we left the house and i nicely said "just go back home...i won't mind at all, and you won't have to run around with me to the stores" and his reply was "no, you made your fu***** bed, now you have to lay in it". he used to get upset that his daughter and i were too loud in the morning when we would wake up and i would take care of her and make breakfast, so one night i went to bed for work, and he came in the bedroom and turned the lights on and screamed at me every two hours saying "how does it feel??"
Another night we got into an argument and i went to the bathroom to cry and locked the door. he beat the door in with a hammer!!! sure he apologized and saw the wrong in it, but that doesn't negate the fact that it happened in the first place.I do EVERYTHING in our home - all the laundry, all the shopping, all the bills, all the cooking, taking care of our daughter, make all the appointments, etc. on top of working THREE jobs!! (one full time, and 2 part time). there is no appreciation for me at all. Just snide remarks. when we disagree, i always try to talk in a calm matter and approach it delicately. His immediate response is "f*** you, stupid b****". and he starts shouting. the worst part is that he always fails to see when he is wrong. even days later!! after a fight, he either leaves for a few hours and drives around, or he ignores me for 3-4 days.
here's tonight's story - we had already committed to going on vacation with my family. well now the cabin is not good enough for him and said we are not going and now no one can go because they were depending on us to pay our share. so i decided to let it go. then, he threw a tennis ball way to close to me. he claims he was throwing it at the dog next to me for trying to jump on the counter, so i confronted him. and he said "i would have hit you if that's what i was trying to do" and then threw the tennis ball at my face twice. luckily i am agile, and missed it both times. i didn't even say anything and just came into our bedroom and started reading all of these posts. about an hour later, he came and slammed our bedroom door shut. so i very gently opened it back up. he came and shut it again. i simply opened it back up and said "is there a reason the door has to stay shut? I would prefer that it stays open..i don't like feeling locked in" and he said "well i want it closed and you don't trump me"...so to avoid an argument, i just closed it.
jandur88 jandur88 26-30 5 Responses Jan 12, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

I would write a long comment but all i can say is he seems abusive and you need to leave him.

This story sounds just like it could have happened in my house. I am so worn down. No matter what I do it isn't good enough. It always wrong. Just the other day I told my husband how it makes me feel. He says that's my problem. He can't do anything about it. I said you never have anything nice or positive to say about me. His response...will if that's what you want we just can't talk at all. So basically now he hasn't spoken to me for three days. I dont understand. I take care of the house, the kids, making sure the bills are paid, cook, and work a full time job and still not one nice thing to say to me. I feel so terrible most days. More than that I feel so ashamed. How do I tell anybody just how little my husband thinks of me. A a couple of weeks ago he just flat out says he hates me. I cry often in private in the shower or the car when I'm alone. I feel so alone and depressed.

Yeah, all of this sounds way too familiar. I am not, trust me, NOT a man-hater, but most men are prideful and self concious. If those traits are not tempered by maturity they can grow into this kind of thing. He sees you as a perfect, convenient receptacle for all of his repressed anger and failures. Thats why he loves the fight so much! He gets to purge all of this at your expense. Do not accept that, in any form. Choose your battles, but be true to what you know is right always.

Been there done that!!! You sure you didn't marry my ex? I was married to hiim for 20 years! Finally he decided to run around on me w an older woman,can you believe it? Well, 20 years and 2 children later I am very glad he is gone!!! I raised both kids alone from ages 8 and 12 and now they are on their own at 20 and 24years old. 1 is still in college, but the other graduated and is teaching now, no thanks to their dead beat dad!



I sure wish you the best, but getting out of there will definetly help you and your child!! You are lucky he hasn't beaten you yet. I was lucky too, but my ex actually was very emotionally brutal to my youngest , a son, and it really affected him. Please consider your child's future. I wont lie , it will be hard to do alone, I had several jobs, and eventually found a wonderful man instead and am totally happy. I will pray for you. God bless, write me any time. I am willing to listen , you need a sounding board, bless your heart.

Been there done that!!! You sure you didn't marry my ex? I was married to hiim for 20 years! Finally he decided to run around on me w an older woman,can you believe it? Well, 20 years and 2 children later I am very glad he is gone!!! I raised both kids alone from ages 8 and 12 and now they are on their own at 20 and 24years old. 1 is still in college, but the other graduated and is teaching now, no thanks to their dead beat dad!



I sure wish you the best, but getting out of there will definetly help you and your child!! You are lucky he hasn't beaten you yet. I was lucky too, but my ex actually was very emotionally brutal to my youngest , a son, and it really affected him. Please consider your child's future. I wont lie , it will be hard to do alone, I had several jobs, and eventually found a wonderful man instead and am totally happy. I will pray for you. God bless, write me any time. I am willing to listen , you need a sounding board, bless your heart.