I Am Tired And Lost, My Marriage Is Not Healthy For Me

No hugs please, It is true my husband hates me, as I feel many other people do too. He told me today that he could not hate me any more, this in response to me asking him if he hated me? Sometimes he is just so mean to me, verbally abusive, unsupportive, and negative in general. We have a young son together, and I understand that this is unhealthy not only for me but for my child. He is a very good father, sometimes I think he is bipolar, this may very well be the problem? For some time I was a bit overweight, so not sure if that made him more upset? I don't think so because I have lost most the weight and fit back in the clothes that fit me when we met, so I am back to my normal self, perhaps he is insecure? Perhaps we have grown apart, or are just no longer right for one another? Sometimes he is happy and everything seems to be going well? And then, bam! He is upset, I did something accidentally, or he had a bad day, whatever is bothering him, I am the one he hates and who he cannot stand, this is very truly upsetting for me, I feel myself falling into a deep hole, the things he tells me sometimes are just so hurtful and cruel, i believe that he is a heartless individual, with littke or no love for me. I didn't imagine my marriage to ever be this way, I am beginning to pull myself away from him, I don't see why I should try so hard to make him happy, I have been talking to an ex and of course getting the attention I need, I feel confused and like I am the bad one? I am a good person and have put up with this for so long now, don't know what to do? I am happy to have found this outlet, I just need some advice or understanding. Or are we both crazy?
nypbj nypbj
1 Response Mar 2, 2012

sometimes I think to myself, f*** men I will turn lesbian!!!!