Married 32 Years, 2 Great Kids

Got married 32 years ago.  Husband was verbally and physically abusive to kids & I.  Now only verbally, I threatened to call the police if he ever hits or kicks me again.  Left him three times, each time he cries that he will change and loves a fool I come back.  He must control everything in his life.  I am unable to even buy a pencil eraser without permission....written permission.  He asks do you have that in writing?  He owns a business and his employees think he is a total jerk.  They tell me they do not blame me if I leave, they have seen him just scream @ me for something that I had no control over.

I go to bed at night and pray that I do not wake up. He is so hateful.  There are two things that come out of his mouth lies and exaggerations.  Never the truth.

I have no money - he controlls it all, no place to go, I am not allowed to have friends.  Normally when he yells at me for his normal 30 to 90 minutes straigh and I am not allowed to talk just sit and get yelled at  - something goes very wrong for him. 

I would just love to teach him a lesson.

He told me if I leave again, he will kill me.  He will close any account that I would have access to so that I have no money, he will take my car and I will be eating out of a dumpster.

I am so sick of it, I cry all the time.
jagstream jagstream
2 Responses May 15, 2012

Please think for yourself , you are strong an independant , to start over will come with struggles but the end the suffering will end , you deserve better darl x

Honey, never never never think he controlls all your options. You can go to a womans shelter, file a restraining order, move to a new town and get a job doing anything you like, or even just go back to school, which would give you a good buffer and lots of gov. scholarships to help pay for it... any student over 24 gets free money and Pell grants. Also, abused woman organizations really help women to get back on their feet. This could at least give you time and money and housing to find a job or start somewhere new in your life. If I were you, I would take the car, inform the police with a simple phone call (My name is so and so and I am leaving my husband because he abuses me. I would like if you did not investigate my dissapearance or lead him to my location), and dissappear. I would only take one blanket, my purse and birth certificate, and the clothes I was wearing. I would do this 30 minutes after he left for work in the morning. I would fill my gas tank, drive all night, in any direction, stop at a store and buy one or two pairs of clothes. In the next town I reached in the morning, I would look up a woman's shelter and stay there until I got my plan all figured out, student loans and grants in place, court dates for divorce and restraining orders, and what to do next. I wouldn't even contact him for two months. When I would I would NEVER talk to him alone, without an attourney or police officer present, never talk to him face to face, never call him on your own, never give him a personal phone number, address or email address. I would stay as far away as possible from his town. Honey, you can do it. You are NOT controlled by him. You are free to live life, if you can be smart and act fast!!! God bless you!!!