I Just Dont Know What Im Doing Wrong"(

When i met my hubby everything was great, it was nothing but laughs we got married and things couldnt get better...
But when i got pregnant he changed, and once our son was born even worst....
We fight alot more now than before i had to get a job to help with the car payments i work during the day he works nights we take
Turns watching our son but he dont get much sleep and so he wakes up pissed off all time
He always tells me he wants to leave me that he only stays cuz of our son...every time he gets mad he tells me he cheated on me then when hes fine he tells me he only says that to hurt me i dont know what to do anymore im trying my hardest to be there for him but he always pushes me away:'( it hurts to even think we might seperate i love him with all my heart and soul but i dont know how much of his humiliations i can take:'(
alwaysthinkingofus alwaysthinkingofus
26-30, F
3 Responses Jun 9, 2012

I must disagree about the both of you being to blame thing, some people are just burdened with demons of their past and present and no matter how much good you do for them they will treat you very badly. It's just like someone helps a homeless person or someone in desperate need, they clean that person up, give them a place to stay and every thing else. Then that person goes away and bad mouth the one that helped them because they didn't give them more, is it right to say that they are both at fault? No! If you know in your heart that you have done your best then he's at fault but if not then do what ever you know that you can do within reason to make him feel better. Otherwise, He needs counseling and much prayer.

Well the question you need to ask yourself is Do you love him and do you want to work it out. If you do then you need to change what type of relationship you have. Sex can be a huge problem in a marriage after you have children, especially if you guys are on a different scheduel.

You would be surprised at how important sex can be for a marriage. Sex is physical intimacy. He may be cheating on you and feels so bad that he is blaming you. taking it out on you for the guilt that he feels.

Lets brush that possiblitliy aside. Establish that connection yourself just to save your marriage. Come on to him daily. Even if you dont feel like it. Wear something sexy to bed and dont even mention sex. You can start establishing that intimacy and hopefully bring back some of the relationship.

Im sorry to read of your pain...when my husband and I had our first child together (also a son) we had very similar issues. A lot of it stemed from jealousy, and it wasn't too easy to admit. When we first become mothers, we forget about how we look, what we do etc as our time is 100percent focussed on our child. My husband was jealous-not that he didn't love our son, because he does, that I no longer seemed to care about him, or need him any longer. Every ounce of my devotion and energy was given to our son; words to my husband simply weren't enough. As time passed, we grew further apart I spent more time alone at home and he spent more time out if not working socialising. You need to re-open the lines of communication, be prepared to hear things you don't like and expect with him telling you he cheated that it is indeed true. Realise if it is, its more likely only physical and not emotional, and even though he has done it-your both partly to blame. the real question is are you strong enough to forgive?? If you love this man and he you, know that the couples that are meant to be together are the ones that usually go through all the painful things that should've torn them apart. I hope that you're able to work things out for yours and your sons sake. Remember...always let your soul guide you :)