Husband Told Me He Hates Me

I am so confused I just need to vent to someone who understands,my husband works away from home and is home on weekends,this is my 2nd marriage to whom I thought and is a wonderful man,I raised his children and stood by him but I made a mistake and did not mange $ the right way,I am a giving person maybe to giving,that I spent alot of $ threw the year I admitted to him of what I did because it bothered me and caused me to be physically sick,I was always on top of everything and now I am behind in bills with no $ left,I don't know what to do I made one mistake a big mistake,and I just want to start new he told me he hates me,but how can you love me on Friday and because of my honesty he wants me out and I am scared I love him even when he treats me bad mentally in the past I always forgave him,I beleave in 2nd chances now I am not sure if he will ever love me like he did before I hate myself and trying to hold it together but it is hard?Please can someone give me advice I do not want him to hate me I was there for him always,I have no one else I gave my all for him and his children please again can someone help me with advice!
An Ep User An EP User
5 Responses Jan 9, 2013

I know how you feel. I had same issue with $ years ago. I'm 100% sure my husband hates everything about me. We're friends first we have been married for 12 years have 3 kids. Not to mention I almost died having our first child. He says things like its all your fault. How do you live with your self because I'm trying to lose weight and he says I'm disgusting and how do I not want to kill myself for not looking normal. My father pass away when I was 13 and my mother told me it was my fault he died. The other day my husband yelled at me saying I'm and expert at making heart attacks happen that hurt so much I can even sleep in the same room as him cause apparently I breath to much and he can't sleep because of it. He never complaints me on anything he gets angry and yells a lot and it makes me nervous about if he really loses it on day he says he hates his life all the time. He tells me I'm should feel lucky cause nobody else would ever want me. I've tried talking to him many times about how all this makes me feel and he will say things like I'm wrong and it's my fault and this how he is and that's never changing if I don't like leave but he said if I do he'll tried to take kids away. I don't get it I've never cheated I don't smoke drink and do drugs I do everything for him I love him so much. But I don't think he's ever cared about me. We got married young and we didn't have much of a honeymoon. He went to Florida for a week for his sport and I had to stay home and work at my new job. I cry myself to sleep every night and he doesn't even care his says to grow up. I don't know what to do anymore nothing is ever good enough even when I'm sick with stomach flu badly he still will make me go do stuff for him and he doesn't even ask how I'm feeling. I hope that your husband gets over you trust issues and treats you great soon and realizes how much you love him and that the two of you can be happy.

My advice is to give him some time and space. This is a big one. A trust-breaker. And men, especially, need some time for it all to sink in and come to decisions. That's because women consider emotion frequently. Men, on the other hand, really don't. Thus the reactionary remark.

If you don't push him, he'll probably come around. Especially if you remind him of what he does value about you. Are you kind? Funny? A good mom? Be those things, and show him that you, the relationship you have, and your family, are all worth more than money.

Be willing to make concessions on your way to earning that trust back, as well, and it will probably turn out okay. Best wishes.

I know, I know, I did the same thing, I used the credit cards our first year, and I blew it. I told him and we moved on and he does the finances, don't think that it's not always brought up in fights. My husband got over it, yours will too.


My husband tells me that all the time. And then tells me he loves me the next day. Like my mother tells me... How can you love someone one day and turn it off like a switch and not love them the next day? You need to sit back and think does he really love you or does he just want someone to come home too? Good luck! I wish you the best.