I Want Your Opinion

I don't think my husband loves me. He almost let me bleed to death. I was having a miscarriage with what would have been our third child and he did not seem to care about the loss of the baby he even seemed kind of happy. Then after finding out that the baby was no longer alive I woke in the middle of the night soaked in blood. I changed put a diaper on and woke my husband. He saw that I was gushing blood and refused to take me to the hospital. I told him I thought I was going to bleed to death and he started screaming at me as I was balling. He screamed at me for almost an hour and then went back to sleep. I waited and cried for 4.5 hours for him to take me to the hospital. Finally it was time to leave for my pre op for a D&C. As I tried to walk to the car to go to the hospital I got extremely dizzy and lost my eyesight. I collapsed and and my husband was unable to wake me for sometime. I came to on the way to the hospital and he rushed me there as fast as he could. Throughout all of this he did not cry. He seemed nervous but I would be too if I almost let someone die let alone my spouse. After I was in the ER for an hour he left and went home to make phone calls. My home was 40 min away. I don't see why he didn't use a pay phone nearby or get a calling card? I would think if you almost lost someone you love you would be devastated? Why wasn't he. Did he want me to die. Does he not love me? Is he having an affair? I am so lost, and I feel so unloved. Please tell what you think all this means.

dreamer922 dreamer922
18-21, F
9 Responses Feb 18, 2009

You deserve better doll , i know how u feel and i know its so hard to get out of a relationship like that

Holy cow!! Honey very simply.. Do not waste any more of your precious life moments on someone that doesn't deserve. Luckily there are no kids as of yet. It's easier to get out now than with the worries of a child to take care of. Don't do what so many of us have done and stay and than one day you wake up and look in the mirror and all your youth and beauty are gone. Good luck to you

Jerk. He doesn't want the liability of having u die under his care. If my husband did that to me, I'd tell the hospital staff not to let me go home! My husband abuses me invisibly BUT he WILL take care of me, just because I'm the mom of our children and he can't bear to see our children cry for their mom.
I was in the hospital in labor with our 1st child and he was at home. Dumb donkey. Then for our 2nd child, I would NOT let him leave... and as soon as we got home, he left for a few nights then came back. Jerk.
Again, your husband does NOT love you... he sees you as a liability if you die and he knows he'll get in trouble for it. Sorry. I've seen old people accompany their spouses when they go into the ambulance at retirement homes, with wheelchairs, oxygen, and/or IV and all. They will do ANYTHING to accompany, that's true caring.

He doesn't deserve to have you, you poor thing, xxx.
You made me laugh with "Dumb Donkey " !

Perhaps he didn't care about you no matter what happens even you live or die. Even you died he wouldn't bother care be there in the funeral he is just a heartless man and inhumane only your family will there for you. The reason he take you in the hospital maybe he has a sense of guilt then afterwards regrets helping you. If a man truly loves you your always be the best and has a unconditional love. He cannot deny he never learned about unconditional love cause were born with unconditional love.

My husband has some deep rooted problems himself. He's selfish, mean, and sometimes cold hearted. But if I was gushing blood, he would jump up, pick me up, and smash to the hospital as fast as he could... I also understand that sometimes people freeze or get frustrated(cause they're so nervous) when scary things happen.. with that being said, I don't think your husband is good enough for you. Maybe he does love you. Just not in love? That's neither here nor there though. He didn't rush you to the hospital, he yelled at you when your in fear of your and your child's life, he still takes hours to finally get up and take you, and then he leaves you at the hoital!! Sounds like he was trying to let you die, but had to make it look like he attempted to save you. Pack your belongings and run!! Best of luck, and listen to your gut instincts..

I agree with you ....I also think he may still be a child......how immature.

My husband also has this tendency. To be unfeeling/caring about very important things. It is rooted in immaturity and selfishness. He takes you for granted. It is appalling that he would not take you to the hospital, that he would not support you through the loss of a child. I dont know that I could forgive that. You need to tell him how deeply he hurt you, how much you are disgusted by how he acted and that you will not tolerate it. I think counselling would be a must after all this trauma. Even if he wont go, do it for yourself. God bless.

I would've stayed, but maybe that is because I care?

It is my personal belief that people do not change in general. If this is how you feel, leave him alone. If you feel he doesn't love you, move on. Life is too short. Be happy. Think about yourself. And for God's sake don't have a baby with this guy. I hate to say it but perhaps God gave you that miscarriage for a reason. It's much easier to leave when you aren't tied down to someone. Once he feels you can't leave him and are tied to him, the way he treats you will only get worse. Don't waste another day with that clown unless you want to spend the rest of your life feeling the way you felt when he yelled at you about needing to go to the hospital. I wish you the best.

I am not sure if he loves you or not but he sounds deeply selfish and unkind. Have you asked him whether he loves you ?