Why???

IOK so it all started back in Oct when a good friend and his wife needed some help. The husband (we will call him Clint and her Lucy) was about to get laid off and they needed help with a babysitter, well my husband said he would be glad to help for about 25 bucks a day, which was fine because he wasn't't working so we could use the money. Well ever thing was going fine i thought. It started to get kinda weird because Lucy and my husband  started to text all the time, talk on the phone, we would always be over for dinner with them and just hanging out, he always wanted to go over there I knew they were kinda close but i didn't't like it! Even though i know it was because of babysitting.. Well I kinda got jealous for him spending so much time with her and i said something to him, he replied " Honey i love you and only you! What would i want with a lady who has had 3 kids when i have you?" I thought OK you're right, what am i thinking?!!

Well as time goes by and i just kinda let that thought go. My husband goes out of town at the beginning of Feb and was gone for almost 2 weeks. Well about the 2ND or 3rd day before he comes home she calls me and tells me that she was at her doc office and was tested for all STDS just like any regular yearly exam. Well she sounded nervous and just came out and said "i was tested positive for Chlamydia, i called Clint and asked him if he has been cheating, he said NO OF COURSE NOT!." She then stated that the reason she is telling me is because she asked her doc how else she could have gotten it and supposedly the Doc asked her if she goes to a gym. She replied "well yes i do" and he told her you might want to contact that gym and tell them. And of coarse we all work out at the same gym so that's why she is telling me. For the record i have never been on the same spin bike as her so i did't understand how this affected me or my husband, THEN IT HIT ME!!!!!! Have they been sleeping together this whole time and this was a great cover up???

So i kinda freak out and did research on it and find that quite possibly i have some symptoms, which there aren't't many but still. So i go to planned parent hood with my husband and we talked to a consultant. I asked her if we should get tested for going to that gym, she almost laughed at me. She told me there is no way you can get this from a gym, only through sexual intercourse. For my sanity i still got tested as well as got more birth control, 2 days later, yesterday, I get a call.........This is planned parent hood, is ......there?" I replied "This is her" then she told me what i knew i was going to hear, Ma'am you have been tested positive for Chlamydia....I almost died! I then immediately asked the lady if at all possible to get this STD with out having sex? She told me not at all. No way!!! Only sex can you get this. I haven't said anything yet because i don't know what to say to him, do i tell her husband this? DO i talk to her? DO i talk to my husband???? What do i do? Or am i over exaggerating? Is he cheating on me????? I feel so alone right now! :(

WHAT DO I DO???????

 

So after writing this i get off work and start to head home, called my older sister and asked her what she thought. She told me to not be naive and to call that B**ch and confront her, i told her i couldn't do that!  Lucy is intimidating as hell, she talked me out of it and i hung up with her and called Lucy, she didn't answer and yes you better believe that my heart was pounding!!!! It went to her VM and so i hung up and called her husband, Clint. I asked him what he was doing and he said driving home from snowboarding. I told him to pull over we needed to discuss some stuff. He agreed already knowing what i was talking about. I told him "Dude something is going on with our spouses.....He stated he knew he felt something different. I asked him what he thought we should do and he stated confront them, so after we talked for a min we both decided to go home and confront our spouses and call each other later to see what they said to us.....

So i go home and Micah gets out of the car and says "Hey beautiful!!! How is my lovely wife???? I looked at him and said get in the house! We need to talk!!! He looked so dam scared it wasn't even funny, i felt even sicker!!!! So we go inside and i just go off! I ask him what is going on Micah??? He of course denies everything!!! Tells me how could he do that? He wouldn't do that! I'm way better than her. He loves me. She disgusts him! For 3 hrs he sits here and tells me this stuff. I actually start to think I'm crazy and believing him, thinking how can i blame him like this!!!!! Well thank god i didn't have any cigarettes and had to go get some. So i told him i will be right back and call my sister, because by now she wants an update. Well i tell her i believe him and i don't know what to do. She of course tells me to stand my ground and go back home and tell him this is not gonna work! Told me to ask him how common this STD really is??? So after getting my smokes i went home and went back inside and sat on the floor with my dog, and he came and sat like 3 feet away and was trying to like cuddle me??? I told him to stop and then his phone rang.................My heart stopped, i freaked i asked who is it? What does it say? The look on his face washed out, as he slowly sat up i yelled! WHO IS IT AND WHAT DOES IT FU***NG SAY??? He replied only by saying "One time in the hallway"..I asked "what??" What does the text say Micah??!! He said that's all it said, in the hallway....(Like what the hell is that supposed to mean? A warning from her???? Fu** that!!!) He stated it only happened one time in the hallway, i freaked out stood up tried to walk outta my house, he tried to stop me by standing in front of the door, told him if he laid 1 finger on me didn't know what would happen but it wouldn't be good so i warned him not too! Left my house calling any friend i could because id didn't need to be driving at this time. I called Clint too see where he was, he asked if i knew and if i wanted to meet up and talk. So we met up in a parking lot for like an hour then i went to a friends to go t o sleep since i had to work the next day, Clint went and got a tattoo!? So the next day i go to work! Wrong freaking thing to do!!! I was a wreck!!! My company was converging with Canada that day so I Had to be therefor the meeting, so my supervisor changed the meeting to 9 am and after that i went home. Went to planned parenthood, got the cure...Clint and i hung out all weekend at my sisters house just to get away from our houses...Of corse we ended up kissing! But thats it!!! So the weekend goes on and the week starts, i go back to work on mon. WEll while i was at work Micah texted me saying we needed to talk. So on my break i called him to see whats up. He stated nothing big he just wanted to talk and tell me things i should know about him already, stuff he has never told me. So of cores i thoguht about it all day, wehat could he possibly tell me now???? I go home that day and tell him to start talking, so we sit and he starts going  off about stuff from his child hood and all this stuff i should have known, but then all the sudden he just comes out and says "It happened 3 times all together." I was confused at first, then it hit me. He was talking about f***ing that nasty *****!!!! 

I demand that he gave me every detail!! Which happened where, found out sdome pretty nasty things about my husband, dint know how sick he really was, like some mild details are, they were in the oldest kids bedroom when the youngest was sleeping!!! WTF??? They didnt use any kind of protection! Obviously i guess right? By this point i litterly was disgusted! So i told him for sure i wanted to leave him, told him to give me my car keys, both of our cars are mine so i took the keys and went to a friends house. As im pulling away from my house, he is practicly hanging on to my car...Told him he better let go cuz this new car goes fast!!!!

Since then i have told him i want a divorce, made him move all of his stuff into our office, started to complety ignore him! As well i should! He ruined our perfect lil life i thought we had!!! Well then time comes again for him to go out of town. I start hanging out with friends more than normall and talking to other men and just trying to forget about Micah, well a good guy friend (Nate) and i have had some talks about what i could and should be doing, things got taken to far. One thing led to another and ya...We know where that goes! :( The next day Nate brings me a rose at work and has lunch with me! Thast all i have ever wanted from a man! Just to be treated like a freaking woman for once, somebody do something for me!!! But as time went on (6 days) i myself felt disgusting!!! I couldnt eat right, sleep right, so distracted at work....It honeslty ate me up so bad i asked Nate to stop talking to me or contacting me. I told him i wanted to work on things in my marriage, he told me he thought I was dumb for staying with him but he would always be here for me. Then that ssame day while Micah was still out of town i cdalled him and told him, told him everything, about Clint, Nate EVERYTHING!!! Needless to say he was very upset, he hung up on me, pretty much did what i did when i found out!! Went and told his whole family, friends, what a ***** i am, how sick he is, how it happend in my car and he didnt even wanna get in my new car!! I knew how he felt, it sucks!!! I did feel very bad, but yet i was still soo mad at myself because  i really dont think i would have done it had Micah not slept with Lucy!!! So Micah and i decide to work on thing when he gets backj in town, we move our stuff back into the same room, and let me tell you! Things were so awkward!!! Sleeping next to him, making love to him, kissing him, even down to telling him i love him....I just couldnt get her out of my mind. Anytime we did any of that stuff I could only see her when i close my eyes or see him doing?????? >>>>>>>>>God knows what to her>>>>>>>>>????..........

So ive been talkin to my neighbor and she has been through this and recomended this book to us, its called "The Love Dare".Its a 40 day journey that you can take together or alone, and it is to make your marriage and love as pure as GOD's! I was very excited at first! For some reason thoguh we neveer actually started it. He ended up going out of town again. I started to grow numb. Well when he is traviling for work he usually tells me when he crosses a state line just for my sake of mind, just so i know travels are ok, not to be controlling by any means!!! But this time nothing, not call, no taxt and berore i know it he is already in indiana by the time i got off work!!! Wow CO to IN??? So i kinda get a lil hurt, kinda like why hasnt he contacted me??? So when he finally does call me hell ya im a lil short with him but i kept my coool!!!!! When he asks me whats wrong of corse i say nothing! Im a woman! But after about 2 days of that he finally says to me "something is wrong.....Whats up?" I tell him nothing again, he says" Bullshit! I know you and how you are, when youre mad you give one word answers....." I tell him everythin how i am feeling! How i cant get over even thoguh i said i forgave him...I spill it all! He asks if i can ever forgive him and i told him probably not, I told him he is tainted to me. He broke down told me how much he loves me and how he will fight for me! Our marriage! Everything! I told him i wanted to at least seperate as soon as our lease is up, and he aggreed! Wow! What a crazy past 2 months my life has been!!!!

 

Ok and now i have once again freaked out and am not sure......Blah! He is still outta town and my mind is racing, im alone and its all i can think about.........What should i do? I wish i just knew....Should i stay with him? Will I ever forgive him? Will i ever be what he wants? AM i already what he wants? Is this all a huge mess? Will i ever want him? WIll i ever trust him? WIll this feeling ever go away??? : . .(  
I Love that man! He ruined what i had! I had no control yet feel so responsible for all of this!!!!!! DId i push him away from me? AM i not good enough for him? Pretty enough?? WTF!

canofsoup3 canofsoup3
18-21, F
4 Responses Feb 25, 2010

Oh Miss Lily! I know! Its crazy, i fell crazy! I dont know what i want to do! I think i want to work things out yet i think i want to move on and out and never see him again. But there is something about that man that i love, i cant be without. It wierd becasue i cant and dont want to see myself with any one else!!! My family is starting to stop talking to me due to me wanting to work on things with him! It rough!!!! Very rough!!!! But he is my partner and i want to stand by him, even though he hasnt always done the same. An against my family is really hard to do, but its not that i dont want change cuz i do, but change from him. I love our life together, we have so much fun when we are together. I know he does love me, he just needs to learn how to show it in a better way....Thanks for youre listeing to me!!! Its very nice to have someone who doesnt know us, opinon!!!! :) **HUGS**

I am not trying to be biased towards your husband. he must have some wonderful qualities about him or else you wouldn't have gotten together with him in the first place but I am skeptical that you should be together. It is hard for a woman to leave a man she loves even if he doesn't deserve her and is not trustworthy. I don't believe he ever had the right to be resentful of the goings on with Nate and Clint. That was his doing. If you could I would move out altogether. Split up for a while. Actually get a divorce. Become independant and and date. If after 12 months you still want to be with him then you can always try again. But people are fearful of change. I know I was. I know many people like this. This is just an opinion though *HUGS*

WOW this whole story has taken a change fior the crazy....i have been very busy but wiil post agin! Sorry!!!

okay hon, First I'm really really sorry this happened to you!! Second, The most positive thing I can say about this situation is 1) glad you were able to get tested and treated for this right away and she was able to get you the info for that. 2) because you contracted this it has let you know the truth of the situation. Living a lie is a terrible thing. At least now you really know (even if you still have your doubts I think that is just the shock.<br />
BTW I hope they tested you for other stuff. Just sayin.. <br />
<br />
Here is what I think: I think he has been cheating with either more than one woman OR he is cheating with Lucy and Lucy's husband Clint is also cheating. Otherwise why would she have just contracted this? Again I'm glad she told you. Sounds like she is being more honest and good than your husband. He is the one to be mad at. <br />
<br />
Wow I cannot believe he is still lying after all that. He should have been the one to tell you. It seems like he doesn't care about your health and your feelings. I'm sorry to put it that way but I think it is something important to REALLY come to terms with. That is one of those hard things you'll have to eventually stare right in the face or it will come back to haunt you forever. You might be able to get past this if he can man up and tell you himself what is going on with out you having to drag it out of him. Unfortunatly it doesn't sound like he is willing to do that! I'm sorry. I hope he does!!! <br />
Regardless you cant really wait. You should talk to him first and end the rediculous "baby-sitting" situation or get out of there! <br />
I hope something positive happens soon! Just know that eventually things will get better. You have control of your own destiny. Hope this helps.