I Am Really Confused

I am pregnant with our second child and came home from work and asked to see his phone. I saw pictures of his private areas posted on a men seeking men website! I asked him about it and he said he doesn't know what he was thinking but was disgusted and ashamed and was not gay! We was arguing heavily and he hung himself. I got him down and gave cpr until he was breathing again! I wish I just had answers but he has none to give!
Abrow032 Abrow032
22-25, F
6 Responses Sep 25, 2012


This all that needs to be said really

Ok ladies you need to stop putting labels on everything. There are many levels to sexuality not just Gay or Straight. I am a a married bi guy with triplets. I am attracted to both sexually but emotionally attached to women.. Its unclear how many men out there are actually bi because it requires people to be upfront and honest. Lets just say guys arent the best in this area so there is no actual statistic but there are some studies that actually say that 40 percent of all men have some level of bisexuality in them. Now some can go there entire lives without saying a word or acting on it. Some just have fantasies about it and keep it to themselves (through **** or other outlets). And there are some that cant do it and it bubbles up and cant deny themselves. This does not make them gay. I love my wife and my family but I love her and that is all I need but that doesn't mean I don't have fantasies about 3somes or just a guy. You would never even know that I am even this way. Normal athletic 35 year old guy in suburban south. I think the difference is since my wife has found out, I have been totally open with her. Yes we have our struggles especially being parents to triplets but as long as your open and honest you can make it and have an awesome relationship... Its very hard for guy to come clean with a woman out of fear of rejection and hurt. We want to feel normal but we are not and its harder to be a bi male than a gay guy. And its a double standard because it is cool and ok for girls to be bi ((like anna paquin) or whatever her name is). Wish more women could be more understanding. My wife knows I love her and that I am emotionally connected to her and she is all that I need but that doesn't mean that I am straight even though I have a straight relationship with her. Guess I am lucky to have someone that understands, cause most women wouldn't...<br />
Also like I said above you cant call yourself gay if you are turned on by women. I would say the majority of so called gay men and women out there are actually bi but lean toward the same sex but can still get turned on by the opposite sex. But for the sake of labels it is easier just to call yourself gay. Sexuality is not that easy and can be very fluid through a persons life. I also think technology plays a huge part because a lot of guys felt alone and because of religous and social norms hid there thoughts and actions. Now they find they can connect to guys like them and express there thoughts and sexuality where as before we couldn't. It took me a long time to understand myself and come clean with it to my wife and stop lying to her and to myself. I prefer women any day of the week but I can be attracted to a man but like I said above that doesn't give me the right to cheat on my wife. We have talked about doing a MMF 3some and it is awesome she might be willing to try that out but I would never actually act on that without her ok first...

Omg what a time of it your having..this is a terrible thing your husband done to you...hes been caught and knows he cant hide anymore ..he lied when he took thoes wedding voes plus hanging himself is so selfish and dangerous get out of this situation quick. Seek social help ..womans aid help cause you need it..i feel for you so much..i just hope your strong enough to escape..tc

Two wrongs dont make it right and just because one spouse fails doesnt mean you throw in the towel right away. Lots of men ans women have made it through worse. Everybody is different and its sad that there are people who just want to give up just because one person falls short in a relationship and advise them to just give up. Thank God I married a strong woman that will fight for the person she loves.

I'm so sorry to hear that, I think you need to talk more to him to figure out if he is gay or bi. I would also be concerned with cheating. I'm also going thou similar experience right now and even thou we don't have any children the though of leaving him breaks my heart and I don't know if I can do it.

What was your outcome

I am sorry to hear this. It is possible that he may be gay, but it is also possible he feels so guilty about posting pictures on websites. Can you certainly say he was trying to meet guys? If yes, then don't ignore it. talk to him. If not then still talk to him, make him comfortable, and find out what is going on.