I Think My Marriage Is Over
So I have been living with my H again after our separation of a month (and I spent some time with the OM). Currently I am not in contact with the OM but I am beginning to miss things about him.
I look at my H who is trying so hard in many ways, he is doing all the right things, making changes, but fundamentally the shift is not there at an emotional level, for me at least. He poo-poo's my suggestion of returning to counselling or using self help books to dig deeper, I really think he feels everything will be right if he just does what I want, making the 'practical' changes. BTW by this I mean being happy to come do the weekly shop together, or eat a meal together, or do a 'normal' activity together like go to the pictures and have dinner; couple things.
Despite this I look at him and I know my love has gone for him as my H, I see a friend, a person I love as a friend, I cant imagine being intimate with him (I wont undress in front him it dosent feel right). Because of the way I feel I am not pushing to get any more help (although I am working through this with counselling myself).
I am beginning to realise that despite the OM I could forge a life on my own, I dont particularly need another man to be my reason to leave. For me, the relationship with my H is over.
I know this is going to devastate him all over again.
Im really not sure how to approach this, any advice or experiences would be helpful
I look at my H who is trying so hard in many ways, he is doing all the right things, making changes, but fundamentally the shift is not there at an emotional level, for me at least. He poo-poo's my suggestion of returning to counselling or using self help books to dig deeper, I really think he feels everything will be right if he just does what I want, making the 'practical' changes. BTW by this I mean being happy to come do the weekly shop together, or eat a meal together, or do a 'normal' activity together like go to the pictures and have dinner; couple things.
Despite this I look at him and I know my love has gone for him as my H, I see a friend, a person I love as a friend, I cant imagine being intimate with him (I wont undress in front him it dosent feel right). Because of the way I feel I am not pushing to get any more help (although I am working through this with counselling myself).
I am beginning to realise that despite the OM I could forge a life on my own, I dont particularly need another man to be my reason to leave. For me, the relationship with my H is over.
I know this is going to devastate him all over again.
Im really not sure how to approach this, any advice or experiences would be helpful
By:
Jossy1
Age:
41-45
,
Female
