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How Do I Leave My Husband?

So I have been living with my H again after our separation of a month (and I spent some time with the OM). Currently I am not in contact with the OM but I am beginning to miss things about him.

I look at my H who is trying so hard in many ways, he is doing all the right things, making changes, but fundamentally the shift is not there at an emotional level, for me at least. He poo-poo's my suggestion of returning to counselling or using self help books to dig deeper, I really think he feels everything will be right if he just does what I want, making the 'practical' changes. BTW by this I mean being happy to come do the weekly shop together, or eat a meal together, or do a 'normal' activity together like go to the pictures and have dinner; couple things.

Despite this I look at him and I know my love has gone for him as my H, I see a friend, a person I love as a friend, I cant imagine being intimate with him (I wont undress in front him it dosent feel right). Because of the way I feel I am not pushing to get any more help (although I am working through this with counselling myself).

I am beginning to realise that despite the OM I could forge a life on my own, I dont particularly need another man to be my reason to leave. For me, the relationship with my H is over.

I know this is going to devastate him all over again.

Im really not sure how to approach this, any advice or experiences would be helpful










Jossy1 Jossy1 41-45, F 3 Responses Feb 10, 2013

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if you are sure, then yes. Set him free so he can move on, the sooner the better. Each day is a wasted day. He will go through pain, but will also heal. You also need to find out what went wrong, or you will repeat the same mistakes.

Agreed. Tell him asap. It's obvious you've made the decision already, now share your feelings and get on with living your life the way you want to. I'd personally suggest - breaking up officially, then a period of isolation from men for about 6 month. Give yourself the time you've never had to work out who you really are, and what you really want out of life.

Thanks for the feedback...now to muster up some courage....

You've done it once already. Just do it again, but this time for good.

The best thing to do is to tell him sooner than later.