My Mind's Journal Entry


MARCH 08, 2010

I am on my way to the grocery store and the phone rings with your special ringtone. It has been weeks since I talked to you, or it seems like it, but you will say it was art yesterday.  I pick up and start talking on the Bluetooth.  An hour later I am arriving home and realize I have no food in the house. Oh well I will hit the treadmill and go to sleep. I put my laptop down and change to get on the treadmill. Prince is jumping around my purse in the den which I know means Ss ringtone is going off.  I think what a crazy dog but I run across the house to get the phone. I work out while I am talking to him and he asks what I have eaten. Oh well NOTHING today, and S goes ballistic on me. I get off the treadmill to go to the kitchen... finding nothing in the fridge to eat.  I move to the pantry and find some crackers, again that is not good enough for Mr. Anal…. I go out to the other pantry and find some kind of weird veggie soup and this makes him happy so I pop it in a bowl and ready to eat it cold but it sucks cold so I pop it in the microwave. I eat dinner while still talking to him. I hang up with him and call Richie. I don’t feel like sleeping… want to catch me up on what you guys are playing and can I get in with it. They are playing Evony and Blade something another. . . I admit the brain wasn’t listening to the mind…. I decide to give up playing tonight but that I am getting back in and playing or I may go play second life again but get distracted yet again when the former bf calls to see how I am doing…. What the hell?  Anyway I politely tell him that my life is so effing wonderful and that he shouldn’t worry.  I can feel my biotch creeping up in my voice and I try to get off the phone but he wants to keep talking so fine let’s talk….Wanna hear all about my new boyfriend and how you would never be able to compete with him? I LAUGH WHEN I REALIZED HOW MANY TIMES I SAID THAT YOU COULD NEVER COMPETE AS A MAN AND U KNOW IT IS TRUE....I WARNED YOU I FELT MY BIOTCH SQUEEZING MY THROAT BEGGING TO TALK. YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED. Hmmm funny how you hung up fast when you heard I was happy.  Do you not want to hear how happy I am? Or is it more that you aren’t as superior as you thought?  Which is it?  I wish you nothing but happiness but it won’t be with me. I can’t handle anymore lies. I wish you would stay away from me just for a short while. It has been almost 2 years, what do you care why do you care?  I don't care about you as more than an acquaintance and keep pushing and I will hurt your feelings. Please don't make me do that to you. 


This isn’t what you are used to seeing from me here because what you are looking at is my mind page in my journal. I actually keep one journal of nothing but things in my mind and then I keep a regular journal on top of that. I do a LOT of writing. As you can see my mind has a mind of its own.

fungirlmmm fungirlmmm
46-50, F
3 Responses Mar 9, 2010

Those are just thoughts and they don't flow like I do in a story mood.

You are beautiful mother. All humans are beautiful.

THANKS. It was a little messed up yesterday.