There are times where my mother and I get along great. And then two seconds later I seriously feel like she hates me. I can talk to her about things she does and says and she denies them laughs them off or says she never did that and that she is a horrible mother. I have started to just agree with her when she says that I will just be like yup. Then move on about it. I love my mother I do. Even though she drives me insane and most of the time I feel like I am taking care of her instead of the other way around. She confides in me about things I wish she didn't. I will give just one example of something that has recently happened. I had a job my first job for two years then I moved in with my grandparents out of state so I had to leave that job. I was going to get another one where we lived my my grandparents decided they were to homesick and wanted to move back. So now I am kind of just floating around. We live in an apartment building consisting of three apartments. Upstairs is my mother her fiance and my two sisters. There is no room for me with them so I will be living with my grandparents again downstairs in front. Right now we live in the back apartment downstairs because the front is being renovated so it is livable for us. My uncle was recently kicked out of his apartment marriage issues and he is living with us and will take over the back apartment when ours is done. His children, my cousins are horrible rotten beats who have no and have never had any discipline in their lives so I stay away from my home as much as possible and usually chill out upstairs. Because I am unemployed I can't buy anything obviously so my mother father and grandparents supply what I need for me. I don't ask for anything unless I am out like shampoo or toothpaste. So I was out of toothpaste and deodorant. I was with my mother she was buying stuff for my sisters and I mentioned that I needed those and she had a huge fit over it. How she is not made of money and she can't be buying me things all the time. I don't feel comfortable asking my father because I don't see him that much and I don't like asking him for money because well if you didn't see someone in your family and the only time they came to you was for money how would you feel? And my grandparents are horrible with money and never have any. Anyways so then a few days later she wants to take me to lunch and buy me a shirt because I don't have a lot of clothes. Yet the other day she near chewed my head off over a three bottle deodorant and a three dollar tube of toothpaste. I don't understand. One other example is that I have yet to experience a true relationship. Like something that lasts for months and you actually do things together. My younger sister hops from boy to boy and my mother is always saying things like well when you can get a boyfriend you will understand. When I can get like I am choosing not to be in a relationship. I am interested and it is not returned that is not my fault but she acts like it is. I am just really confused. I literally feel my heart ache sometimes when she says things to me.
deleted deleted
4 Responses May 21, 2012

Your mum definitely doesn't hate you. :)

How old are you? Over 18? If so I think you might consider A)going to college and B)getting a job if you aren't already doing this. You are lucky. You have no one depending on you. So you should have lots of time and energy to start creating some sort of life for yourself. Then you will be too busy to fight with or be bothered by your family.

We can help you dear Go to my website www.ineedamom.info I will get you connected to a mom who you can talk to and she will give advice and she will help you with this situation. We all need a moms influence in our life. This is a free service for you.

Sounds like your mom has some issues, but it doesn't sound like she hates you. More like she's stressed about money and she really doesn't understand you. If your mom was raised poor and is struggling now to raise you kids, she might not be at her best, communications and anger management wise. On the first issue: Sometimes the timing of a request is crucial. You were probably thinking well she's buying stuff for the others anyway, what's one more thing of toothpaste. But she might have been thinking, I need to get toiletries, and the kids are going to need new clothes, and the electric bill isn't paid yet, and I still need to buy food. She most likely thinks of you as a child and she probably doesn't share the real financial situation with you, so there's no way for you to know this, but it easy for misunderstandings to happen. <br />
On the second issue: She seems to relate better to your sister because perhaps she herself is someone who always has a man around. I'm not saying that's good or bad. But if you are trying to make a better life for yourself and your focus is on education and not men, or even if it's on men and it just hasn't happened for you yet, well, even in the twenty first century, some women still don't understand that. It sounds to me like you have a good mom, but it might be time for you to live your own life and stop depending on her. <br />
You seem really smart from the way you write. Write yourself a step by step plan. Investigate every avenue of possibility. See if you can get your old job back and move back there. You might have to get two jobs at first and go to school at night. Be grateful you don't have to do it because you have a baby to take care of, like I did. Get a roommate. If you can't get your job back, apply for a year of school and ask for financial aid, (say you are living off campus) but don't tell your family and save every penny that's not for tuition or books to pay for your big move. You can do this.<br />
<br />
P.S. I think the comment you made about your grandparents is mean and unfair, even if it's true. Nuff said.