She Will Never Know Me

All my life I never ever had the mother-daughter relationship that ALL my friends had with their mums. When I was about 11 my mum began to be extremely mean to my dad and me, I honestly think she is bi-polar. Nobody but my nanny knows that I cut myself when I was just 11 because I was so depressed. I never want to mention it to my dad because I love him too much that I don't want to worry him. Now my dad doesn't live with us anymore and he has always been my best friend. My mum forced me to move to Japan with her and never asked me for my choice.

As of 2012, I still live with her and I don't know if its normal but...I'm seriously scared of her. Not in a childish way but I feel like I'm in prison or something. She tends to tell me that she wishes she never brought me along and that I'm useless. The other day she said that I am no use and that I am annoying. I'm working my butt off at school and she never seems to be proud of me. She also doesn't feed me enough because she doesn't want me to be "fat". I went to the doctor with my dad a couple months ago and they said I was very underweight and I actually go to school hungry everyday. I really want to ask her if I can move to where my dad lives but like I said, I'm really scared of her :/ 

Please comment/reply if anyone shares something similar. I sometimes feel like the only one like this, everyone around me is so happy.
MusicalSoul3 MusicalSoul3
Dec 10, 2012