My Story. My Pain

I always wanted to have a good relationship with my mom..I try to but nothing..my mom always came across as a crazy person sometimes she's fat (not trying to be rude to her or mean) but anyways..she just eats a lot and etc I always thought she had a mental problem of some sort like when she gets mad she talks about other people so bad like people on TV and etc..
It makes me so mad because when somebody says something about her she gets all upset she always tells me if I don't do this i'm gonna be on the floor or on the wall or something like that.. she keeps complaining saying her life is terrible it makes me mad because it seems like she won't do anything about it like kick my dad out if he causes her so much pain why can't she kick him out? What kind of example is that? for your own child that your raising why is she so weak?
I tell her my problems how I feel and she gets so mad and she just doesn't understand! I just want to run away but I have no place to go! I hate myself so much! I just feel like killing myself everyday she thinks she can just control my life I want to live! I've bee dead for years now she's so mad at me for customizing two of my dolls there my dolls why can't I change them? She's so mad at me now I customized one doll to look like a family member and she's still mad I thought sense I made one of my dolls special it can also limit the dolls so I asked for a doll that I really like now and my mom said no because the doll is white I'm black I have 4 black dolls (actually 5 counting the other brand one) and 2 white dolls I want diversity in my doll family why can't I get another white one? (also my birthday is very soon and I wanted this doll to be my birthday present)
I can't even get my main birthday present! :( now I'm all sad anyways...I hate to have dolls that look alike so I thought if I customized the 2 dolls I can get another doll I really like that doesn't look like any of my dolls! I'm really mad at my mom now and it not only this it's more and MORE! I just can't take it anymore! I hate my life and my mom just makes it more terrible I hate everything!
I'm all broken up inside that's why it's my dream to be famous so I can leave the life I have now and LEAVE MY MOM BEHIND! AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
I'm so sad.....
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 15, 2013

Hun i am so sorry. I know what its like to think life is pointless. I have thought about suicide a lot. It is hard knowing the people you look up to could care less. I hate it. My life is horrible. My mom just abanded me. If you ever want anyone to talk to just message me. Im here for ya.