I guess ever since I could remember I've hated my mom, always day dreaming about a mom that cared and loved me. I am now 15, and I can't even remember the last time my mother said "I love you" to me. Everyday I can always over hear her saying that too my younger brothers. I always find my self being jealous of them, wishing it was me.

My mom and I have never really got along. We have like different ways of life you could say. We've actually never been close, I'm actually terrified to tell my mother what goes on in my daily life. She always turns everything in to a lecture, and usually she always yell it at me. So basically in school I live a different life, it's the only place I feel comfortable being me.

My mother is always mad at me. She's always yelling. Everything is always my fault, even when she knows it isn't. But she never yells at my brothers, she treats them with respect and how every child should be treated. Why doesn't she do this with me?

I remember the first time my mom yelled "**** you" and "get the hell out of my house" to me. It was around the age of 12. From than on she's been using that against me when ever she's mad, or when I don't do something that pleases her. She's always putting me down about something.

I always do everything for her, maybe just to please her or finally make her proud of me. But it never works. Honestly I'm the only one that cooks and cleans. She never lifts a finger to help me or she never even says thank you. She tells me I never clean right even when I do. If something's not done right she would wake me up at 3 am in the morning to redo it, telling me it's for my own good. Everything i cool for her she spits out in disgust, or criticizes. Saying it tastes like sh*t. I don't know why I still keep doing these things for her. I guess I'm afraid.

Throughout my life I got endless whippings from belts that she's had. I even remember one time she hit me in the head with a bag full of groceries. I always wish I wasn't her child.

I wish I could have a loving mom. One that cared about me and loved me. Honestly it's one of my biggest dreams, that I know will never come true. I see everyone else with loving parents, why is it different with me? Why can't she treat me like she treats my brothers? Why can't I be normal? Why does she hate me? I just wished she love me.

Jaaye1 Jaaye1
1 Response Aug 31, 2014

Oh Jaaye1, don't worry. You're honestly not the only person going through something like that.

My mum has never said she loved me either. She's always telling me to be like my other sisters. To be honest, I think she treats me the worst out of my siblings, idk whether she hates me or just doesn't love me as much? I know it sucks, I get jealous too sometimes. She has hurt me psychically and emotionlly.

I'm not exactly sure of what to tell you because I'm still going through it haha. Right now, I'm just looking forward to leaving my house. I can't stand living here.

I don't really want to put my life out in the open, sooo if you need to talk about whatever is on your mind, message me.