The Psychopath's Daughter-part 1Psychopaths walk among us. We may think of them as serial killers, but did you know that one percent of the population is psychopathic. They are everywhere. Fortunately, most are law-abiding, unfortunately most still will drive you crazy with their complete douchebaggery. And the thing is, you can't reason with them, they are cognitively incapable of realizing they screw up like the rest of us human beings.
I know this, because I read an article yesterday, in the September 2011 Reader's Digest. It was fascinating. I have always had and interest in psychology and the human brain. This article talked about the twenty indicators of a psychopath, but didn't state them. So I went online, and low and behold, my father would have scored 18 out of 20. Now, ten is bad!!! Him, it's surprising that I am as well balanced as I am, and my my siblings, considering the dominate male influence in my life. But it explains a hell of a lot!
My father was never physically or sexually abusive to us, so it was always treated by others, as what is your problem. Suck it up, so your father yells at you from time to time. But I grew up in a world, where my father was almost god-like and the rest of us were scum. It does something to a human, when the person who should love, nurture and protect you, is the person who is destroying your tiny little universe. It didn't help that I was a shy kid and got picked on a lot at school.
I am not saying this to whine, and get pity. I know my childhood could have been a lot worse. I share my story, only to help myself heal, and hopefully if I can help one other person. A lot of us here, have had some really crappy experiences, which have really impacted us.
My one friend said, “I think we blame to much on our childhood”. Maybe we do. But she grew up in a middle-class home with two loving, devoted parents. She never knew what it was like living in a powder keg about to explode any minute and irrevocably change the whole world as you know it.
Besides, I am not necessarily blaming my father. He has the brain he was born with, what can anybody do about it. But it did make my childhood less than a fairy tale, and I do carry that baggage into all my adult relationships. Grrrr!