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The Psychopath's Daughter-part 1

Psychopaths walk among us. We may think of them as serial killers, but did you know that one percent of the population is psychopathic. They are everywhere. Fortunately, most are law-abiding, unfortunately most still will drive you crazy with their complete douchebaggery. And the thing is, you can't reason with them, they are cognitively incapable of realizing they screw up like the rest of us human beings.

I know this, because I read an article yesterday, in the September 2011 Reader's Digest. It was fascinating. I have always had and interest in psychology and the human brain. This article talked about the twenty indicators of a psychopath, but didn't state them. So I went online, and low and behold, my father would have scored 18 out of 20. Now, ten is bad!!! Him, it's surprising that I am as well balanced as I am, and my my siblings, considering the dominate male influence in my life. But it explains a hell of a lot!

My father was never physically or sexually abusive to us, so it was always treated by others, as what is your problem. Suck it up, so your father yells at you from time to time. But I grew up in a world, where my father was almost god-like and the rest of us were scum. It does something to a human, when the person who should love, nurture and protect you, is the person who is destroying your tiny little universe. It didn't help that I was a shy kid and got picked on a lot at school.

I am not saying this to whine, and get pity. I know my childhood could have been a lot worse. I share my story, only to help myself heal, and hopefully if I can help one other person. A lot of us here, have had some really crappy experiences, which have really impacted us.

My one friend said, “I think we blame to much on our childhood”. Maybe we do. But she grew up in a middle-class home with two loving, devoted parents. She never knew what it was like living in a powder keg about to explode any minute and irrevocably change the whole world as you know it.

Besides, I am not necessarily blaming my father. He has the brain he was born with, what can anybody do about it. But it did make my childhood less than a fairy tale, and I do carry that baggage into all my adult relationships. Grrrr!

JustBernieGirl JustBernieGirl 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 27, 2011

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One of my siblings talks about growing up "just" neglected. There's nothing "just" about it, a schizophrenic alcoholic for a father and a medically complicated narcissistic mother addicted to pain meds, with a strict unspoken taboo in place to never talk about what did or didn't go on in the house, never allowed to go to other kids' homes or have anyone over. A person ends up being seriously fvked in life after doing nothing but stare at the walls and watch the occasional soap/space opera. At least my brothers were allowed to follow a course of study that would lead to economic viability.

My therapist once said, "Just when I think I've heard the most outrageous story about your family, you come up with another!" JBG, I'd be willing to bet that this story of yours is the tip of the iceberg of a whole lot you've been working to overcome.

(((gives hansonsmith a huge hug)))

"But I grew up in a world, where my father was almost god-like and the rest of us were scum. It does something to a human, when the person who should love, nurture and protect you, is the person who is destroying your tiny little universe. It didn't help that I was a shy kid and got picked on a lot at school."<br />
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Gosh ! this is real story. what you say is true very much. I know what it feels like to have a psychopath father. I sometimes want to kill him. this appears the only solution but i do not want to commit sin. so i decide now to leave home towards my own single room accommodation. its tough for me but this is the only way out for me and my brothers.<br />
Dear God I beg you please do not give any children psychopath parents.

Its always easier to dismiss the impact of something if not experienced by us,and I guess we have a tendency to do that,unfortunately.This in turn means that the problem is not recognised,let alone dealt with,until or unless it becomes prevalent enough in society for people to take notice.Im sure the number of psychopaths about is even greater than mentioned,sadly.Thanks for sharing.

you could be right we turn out as adults by way of nature ( what genes give us) and nurture(our environment all around) so with what you had to put up with its a great that you turned out as you have.you are a great person so start believing this!

agreed!! if only Bernie could see herself the way that we see her, huh??

Thank you.

**BIG HUG**

awww, Bernie!! i just saw this post. i think you're so right about your observation that if the abuse isn't physical or sexual, it gets poo-pooed and overlooked as less urgent than other forms of abuse. but how difficult it must have been to be brought up in that environment with no feeling of safety or comfort. i hope that now you are grown you are able to carve out a place where you can feel safe and at ease. once you have started to love yourself thoroughly, others will begin to see you for the wonderful woman that you are and before long, i'm sure you will be feeling comfortable in your own skin. i wish you lots and lots of healing and love.