My Sister Is A Heroine Addict....and She Hates Me.

I have battled drug addiction... horrible addictiton I aquired from my brain surgery. Pain pills, dillaudid, you name it. I didn't realize it was an issue until doctors wouldn't prescribe it anymore and I needed it. I went through a living hell getting my *** off these drugs. Emotional and physical battle. They made me numb. Went to several treatment centers...always leaving early...never finishing. Until 9 months ago when I met my soul-mate. I decided to check into a Methadone/Suboxone treatment...since I just had to go once a day. I did that for 4 months....gained a TON of weight...looked like a bloated tick. And was out of it 80% of the time. But then after 4 months I said **** it and quit. Cold turkey. It was a horrible month but well worth it. And I am free now of opiates.

Now, my sister has battled a drug addiction since she was 14 or so. She's 18 now. And has never said no to a drug. Even went to a party once and there was a pile of pills and she just took em. Her feet and hands turned blue and she almost died (she was 15 then) ended up there was a pill with sulfa in it, which she is deadly allergic to. When she was 12 she was raped. her virginity. She says this is when all her issues started. (I'm older than her by 8 years so we haven't ever really been close) When this happened to her at 12, I was pregnant and single...had moved back home and all the attention was back on me and my baby. (I'm the oldest sibling and she's the baby.) But I guess this is when she started experimenting with drugs. It made her feel better. Then a couple years later (she's 16-17 at this time) I was diagnosed with Brain cancer.... and everyone kind of forgot about her again. This is when things started to get bad, She quit coming home. She got no attention or really the love she deserved at home. My poor parents again were preoccupied by me. She started using harder drugs and mixing them at this point. She was beaten and raped for two days straight....held against her own will in this mans house she went to initially to get cocaine. Then a week after that, we didn't hear from her again for 3 days and got so scared. Since she was 17, the cops got involved and helped. We found out from her friends that she had been hanging out with this older woman (a pimp) and was getting free drugs and was promised this awesome life. The cops ended up finding my sister at a hotel with 12 other young girls, alcohol, needles, drugs everywhere. And this woman nowhere to be found. My sister said she doesn't remember the night at all. I'm assuming more raping was committed. At this point my parents were at a loss. They sent her away for 6 months to a boot camp/drug addiction facility. She did great the first month she came back....and then went right into it again. This time, black tar heroine. I would catch her with tinfoil and spoons and try to talk to her...but she was so mean and just kept saying I was a drug addict so I needed to shut up. My fiance and I even let her move in with us for a couple months to try and help her....and it just got worse. She was caught with heroine...was in car accidents b/c of being so high. We had to kick her out. It's like I was watching her kill herself. And she is a beautiful girl. 18 now...and thinks she runs her life now and do and say anything she wants. Never graduated high school. Has had everything taken away from her....moved back to my parents. Now they found out she is iv'ing the heroine. Plus taking klonopin, methadone, coke, anything. My parents said they will take her health ins away and kick her on the street if she doesn't check into a long term treatment facility for at least a year. I guess she said yes....just waiting now to see if it happens.

Now my sister and I don't talk at all since I kicked her out. I can't help but feel like 1, a horrible sister for not being there for her when she was young, even tho I had my own issues. 2. making her feel less of a person and taking away my parents attention when she needed it most. it's almost as if she was on her own during the hardest part of being a girl...the teenage years.

We aren't speaking at all right now. She feels judged by me....she says I'm a liar and still use.... and I shouldn't be so hard on her. But I am at the point now where I almost don't care. I mean I love her more than anything... but she is ruining her life. And it's just begun. She's 18!! I've tried to give her chances,,, so many times. She showed up to watch my daughter high on acid once....and the next time it was heroine.

I don't know what to do. She's at the point where she believes her own lies. And I've been there...not nearly as severe. But I don't know what to do. Do I cut her off? Not answer her bitchy texts... kick her out of my wedding? Try harder to be there for her even tho I reall feel like emotionally I'm done with her crap.

This may have been a bunch of rambling...hope it made some sense. Need some advice. I love my little sister. But she hates me now.
CancerMama22 CancerMama22
26-30, F
1 Response May 19, 2012

Are you still around