I See No Way Out

“Our relationship is over.”  “You did this.”  “I don’t want you to act like you love me.”  “Our relationship is permanently tainted.” .... my son's words are still ringing in my ears....

The only thing good I’ve ever had in my life is being taken away from me now.  The only thing I thought I would always be able to count on is deteriorating right before my very own eyes.

My son doesn’t know that I love him.  My daughter ran away from home because she feels the only love in the world for her is in the arms of some sixteen year old boy.  I am a failure as a mother, and therefore, as a human being.

Is there any point to living?  Only the small hope that somehow, something magical will happen and one day, I will wake up and the universe will be restored to the way I’ve always known it.  My children will feel loved and not hate me.

**** medication.  I don’t want to live like that.  I can make it.  Wouldn’t it be my choice, if I had cancer, to accept or refuse treatment for it? 

MysticWriter MysticWriter
36-40, F
7 Responses Aug 18, 2006

I am 23 years old now, but it wasn't long ago when I was a teen. I remember some really awful things that I had said to my parents. I remember making my mother cry, and my father's dissapointment. I am not going to say that it was always like that when I was a teen, because it wasn't. There were happy times as well, but I know how hard I was for my parents to deal with sometimes. They were so concerned with how I was going to "turn out". Today, they always tell me that they are proud of how I turned out. I always loved my parents, and still do. I just didn't always show them when I was that age. Be patient, and don't take it out on yourself. They are old enough to make decisions, but you can still be there to love them when they make bad ones, like my parents always were. They won't be teens forever . . . ;)

I think that if you took the time to have a conversation with your children and really listen to what they had to say then you are not a failure as a parent. If everytime you had a conversation with them it ended in an arguement then perhaps you should listen more. Parents may not always be to blame in every situation and yet far too many do not take responsibility for building relationships with their children. Conversation involves listening not simply asserting one's authority as a parental figure. It also involves telling them valid reasons for your decisions and not taking the easy "because I said so" attitude. All of that should be stated without anger or mockery!

You know...... even though we know certain stuff, sometimes, it's really easy to forget!!! Thank God there are people out there to remind us, though. And, thank all of you for reminding me!

Mountainman gave good advice. Teenagers need to rebel it is just how the world works, it certainly does not mean that they don't love you. When I was a teenager I would tell my mom that I didn't think that she loved me, just to see if she would tell that she did love me. I just needed a little positive reinforcement. It is obvious that you love and care about them and as long as you do, you are an EXELLANT mother. If you don't give up on them, they will not give up on you.

If you took a survey, you would need to take a number and go way back to the end of the line. Mountainman, has great wisdom in his comment. There are so many mothers and father experiencing what you are now, or have or will. Just pray for them, when they take it out of your hands. You are in our prayers to be strong during this difficult time.

They dont hate you gentle lady. Tis the nature of the beast. They are programmed to leave and you to feel sorrow for it. They will make mistakes, skin their knees and in time you will have the love of adults instead of children. Bad moms dont worry about it. Been there done that and, None are serial killers. bad people, or convicts! Amazing. Go forward, be of good cheer do well and prosper. This is just a bump in the road. <br />
be at peace, worry solves nothing. You are not a failure as a mom or a human. They are alive, out there doing what they need to do to find their way. Be their lighthouse. Quit fighting them it is over,Mother nature won. She always does sooner or later.<br />
God bless,<br />