Lost Soul

How about I know my teenager hates me and I am a failure as his mother.  His father and I divorced when he was young (6) and it wasn't the prettiest of divorces.  Meantime, T (my son) and I were very close.  During 5th grade (about 4 years later) I got engaged and then married to a wonderful man with two daughters slightly older than T.  In the beginning T and B (husband) and fun together, until T connected in his mind that if he was having fun with B he was distrespecting his father (not a great role model).  Visibly began to pull back from family activities and into the world of video games.  When grades tanked video games were withheld.  Tried different counselors, but T would make up lies to tell them about how everything was great.  Meanwhile exhibiting seroius passive aggressive behavior against everyone in the family.  Every time B and I would leave town for short business or vacation trips, T would have very specific instructions  (go to school, swimming, volunteer work, homework, friends, school work, etc).  Every time, all he would do is watch TV or go to someone else's house to play video games.  This time was the final straw and he knew it.  Upon my return he admitting he had done nothing, really.  I instructed him to call his dad to come get him, pack up his stuff and get out.  It felt like the right thing to do at the time, and I still think it is the right thing for now, but it makes me feel like a complete failure as a parent.  I, who was the one who was alwasy there encouraging, help (not an overbearing mom though).  T and B didn't get along, which is part of it.

How does your relationship change when  a child goes back to live with the other parent??

wnd1967 wnd1967
1 Response Feb 24, 2009

They tell me it is supposed to get better, but I have doubts in my case.
I wish you best of luck.